Every 5 minutes patriarchy goes 'but what else can we take away from women while still keeping them complacent and obedient' and they chip away testing how far it takes until we are openly enraged and ready to fight. Then they give us one thing, or just promise to give it, ask us to be grateful we got it & keep chipping away

Chances are, you’re not fridgid or asexual- patriarchy probably killed your natural, healthy sexuality.

Things that ruin the sexuality of women:

1. Habitually forcing yourself to have sex you don’t want to have out of duty + obligation.

2. Habitually having sex with someone who is selfish and only cares about their pleasure.

3. Being treated like an object or treating yourself like an object (getting all your pleasure out of being desired, never thinking about what you desire/find physically attractive or what feels good to you)

4. Sexual abuse, rape, exploitation and being exposed to violent kinks.

5. Habitually having sex totally disconnected from emotional intimacy and care.

6. Having sex with someone who disrespects you, disregards your needs, emotionally neglects you or full blown abuses you on a daily basis.

7. Participating in sex work. Biggest kept secret is that women who have sex for work are prone to becoming sex repulsed.

REAL sex positivity for women would come from addressing these issues. But we don’t hear about it. 👂🏽🚫

I'll add

Sexual abuse has put a mental distance from sexual intimacy in your head (trauma response)

Sexualization of women/girls has convinced you that you must not like sex because you don't like those things.

Sexualization of violence has convinced you that you must not be into sex

The widespread idea that women must be wanting sex at least a little all the time has convinced you that you are never into sex.

Not wanting to have sex in your teens means you will never want sex.

patriarchy really does try so hard to destroy healthy sexuality in women. Men try every way possible to destroy it in us. It's no wonder so many woman are uncomfortable with it , the topic of sex is made to be uncomfortable for us. It's actually challenging to protect your sexuality as a woman , even if you've never been actually physically harmed, the culture itself is very damaging to our sexuality. Men as a class claim they want women to have sex, but really their actions say differently. Their actions say they want us all to be terrified of and hate sex. Their actions say they despise female sexuality. The best thing women who aren't asexual can do in this environment is to stay away from porn, stay away from anything involving sex work or male gaze sexualization of the female body as best we can, and stay away from males who aren't accepting of female sexuality/despise female genitalia. And be at peace with our sexuality and accepting of ourselves. Oh and definitely stay away from any propaganda about female submission and stay away from anything and anyone who eroticizes female submission. Which is hard to avoid bc it's EVERYWHERE in every culture but just focus on our own desires and prioritize them. Prioritize them over males. Your desires are way more important than any males desires. Prioritize your own orgasms. If you're osa don't associate with males who have a problem with female orgasms.

Also none of this means OSA women can’t abstain from sex with men. I abstain from sex with men and I think more OSA women should at least temporarily do that because you need a LOT of self worth to navigate sex with men and self worth is specifically beaten out of women and girls.

It’s just that women and girls diagnosing themselves as asexual or demisexual, in addition to derailing gay activism due to framing asexuals as part of the gay community, hasn’t actually fixed anything. I used to hang out in the asexual and aromantic communities and what did I find? Nonstop rhetoric of “asexuals can have sex if they really care about the person” and a shitload of generalised MRA bullshit.

Unfortunately, there isn’t any substitute for feminism when it comes to men treating women like shit, and the reason why feminism is unpopular is because men know that.

thats so true , women should feel like they can abstain from sex, period. They don’t need a reason, but the state of male behavior is a really good reason and actually implores a lot of woman to abstain bc so many men don’t know how to even have sex. And so many men are rapists. They don’t need to label themselves “asexual” or anything, they can just not ever do it. More women should feel empowered to be abstinent, that should be what real female empowerment looks like. I agree more women should because too many men don’t respect women and are selfish. If men are sexually selfish then they shouldn’t be having sex. But even if men weren’t sexually selfish, women don’t need a reason to abstain they can just bc they feel like it. Advocating for women’s sexual freedom also means advocating for women’s right to be abstinent.

men will do literally anything other than engaging in pro-social community-oriented behavior and then get online and complain about how masculinity is vilified and men aren't allowed to be heroes anymore

"all men really want is to feel like the hero" okay then volunteer at a food bank. get narcan training. step in when a woman is being harassed on the street. help out an elderly neighbor with shopping or home repairs. learn how to safely de-escalate fights. help your friends move. join or start your workplace union. become a big brother or volunteer coach for kids' sports. clean up your local park or get involved in some local conservation campaign. do your own damn dishes. notice what needs to be done and then do it. the world doesn't need heroes, it needs helpers. there are literally so many paths to finding a sense of self-respect and worth through pro-social behaviors that improve your immediate local community and help build your network of close personal connections. but these guys don't give a shit about actually contributing anything to the world. they just want to whine and fantasize.

"of course men will become violent if they can't play at the hero/provider role" men will say, without a shred of irony

The teenage boy down my street who's training to be an EMT and has spent hours scrubbing the ambulance and supplies instead of just coming in for adrenaline rush runs is a thousand times better than any of them

i very rarely ever see a moid acting like a hero in real life. I never see a male stepping in to solve problems or help people. Whenever there’s like a fight in public or an elderly person needing help or a pregnant mother with multiple small children around her screaming and getting into trouble and making a mess and she’s clearly exhausted and overwhelmed, I never see a male helping her. I more often see women stepping in to help. I saw a pregnant woman with four small children at the store the other day and while she was trying to pick something out from the shelf one of her children tipped over the shopping cart and fell and got hurt. I started to rush over but another woman who was closer to her already swooped in and tried to catch the child and fixed the cart. And it dawned on me that I’ve never seen a male do this in these situations. Only random women. Think about how many times you’ve seen a problem in public and how many times it’s a random woman stepping up to help versus a man. I have however seen young men laughing at mentally challenged people in public, or laughing at someone for whatever reason and making fun of them. Yeah occasionally I have seen a man help an elderly person, but in general men don’t act helpful. The woman who said “I’ve never met a man as extraordinary as the men in movies IRL and I’ve never seen a woman in movies as extraordinary as the woman I’ve seen irl” comes to mind.

Chances are, you’re not fridgid or asexual- patriarchy probably killed your natural, healthy sexuality.

Things that ruin the sexuality of women:

1. Habitually forcing yourself to have sex you don’t want to have out of duty + obligation.

2. Habitually having sex with someone who is selfish and only cares about their pleasure.

3. Being treated like an object or treating yourself like an object (getting all your pleasure out of being desired, never thinking about what you desire/find physically attractive or what feels good to you)

4. Sexual abuse, rape, exploitation and being exposed to violent kinks.

5. Habitually having sex totally disconnected from emotional intimacy and care.

6. Having sex with someone who disrespects you, disregards your needs, emotionally neglects you or full blown abuses you on a daily basis.

7. Participating in sex work. Biggest kept secret is that women who have sex for work are prone to becoming sex repulsed.

REAL sex positivity for women would come from addressing these issues. But we don’t hear about it. 👂🏽🚫

I'll add

Sexual abuse has put a mental distance from sexual intimacy in your head (trauma response)

Sexualization of women/girls has convinced you that you must not like sex because you don't like those things.

Sexualization of violence has convinced you that you must not be into sex

The widespread idea that women must be wanting sex at least a little all the time has convinced you that you are never into sex.

Not wanting to have sex in your teens means you will never want sex.

patriarchy really does try so hard to destroy healthy sexuality in women. Men try every way possible to destroy it in us. It’s no wonder so many woman are uncomfortable with it , the topic of sex is made to be uncomfortable for us. It’s actually challenging to protect your sexuality as a woman , even if you’ve never been actually physically harmed, the culture itself is very damaging to our sexuality. Men as a class claim they want women to have sex, but really their actions say differently. Their actions say they want us all to be terrified of and hate sex. Their actions say they despise female sexuality. The best thing women who aren’t asexual can do in this environment is to stay away from porn, stay away from anything involving sex work or male gaze sexualization of the female body as best we can, and stay away from males who aren’t accepting of female sexuality/despise female genitalia. And be at peace with our sexuality and accepting of ourselves. Oh and definitely stay away from any propaganda about female submission and stay away from anything and anyone who eroticizes female submission. Which is hard to avoid bc it’s EVERYWHERE in every culture but just focus on our own desires and prioritize them. Prioritize them over males. Your desires are way more important than any males desires. Prioritize your own orgasms. If you’re osa don’t associate with males who have a problem with female orgasms.

the left-right political divide is just another manifestation of the madonna-whore complex

the left wants women to be whores, they promote sex work and promiscuity, tear down the meanings of women and lesbian all in pursuit of granting access to women’s bodies for all

the right wants madonna, the stay at home mother with traditional values that keep her subservient and pure, deny her freedom and humanity all so she might return to being each man’s posession

And the true secret is that both the right and the left want both to exist simultaneously even though they’ll both deny it.

Rightwing men still go to strip clubs, rape prostituted women, and get off to lesbian porn; they only differ from the left in that they lie about doing so. They want to rule over a woman at home AND have access to the less “civilized” women so that they can fulfill their fantasies of being a patriarch in the household and a John in the streets. They get to be as deprived as they wish while still maintaining their holier-than-thou persona.

Leftwing men still want a wife/girlfriend who will serve be committed to them and do as they wish. Whether it be their modern version of the 50’s housewife (now including the double shift) or a girlfriend who’s totally super down to be in a one-sided open relationship. Liberal men also demand that women take on the loyal subservient role when they want them to just like conservatives; the only difference is that he’ll lie to her and their community and say that he’s ✨empowered✨ her to be able to work a 40 hour work week, and clean the house, and take care of the kids. He’s not entitled and lazy, she’s just an independent woman who conveniently likes to take care of him.

Men have intentionally kept these two roles around since the invention of the patriarchy for a reason, and that reason is that they all benefit from having access to both public and private women. They only really decided to take a stance against one role or the other when women started gaining rights and they realized that they had to try and make themselves look like “the good guys” or else they might lose access to all of their power/women. Making the opposing political party out as “the enemy” distracts us from the fact that all of the roles imposed onto us under patriarchy are oppressive; as soon as we all realize that there is no “empowering” way to participate in the patriarchy, it’s all over for them. They will do whatever it takes to keep us from realizing that it is all oppressive and that it is possible to be freed from both roles.

Men are so greedy.

kids don't know what making out is anymore

i just want to understand the people who say they’re asexual but still have sex. Like…you either are interested in the concept of it to some degree or you’re not interested. Which is fine if you’re not, but like why I do always see all the “asexuals still have sex” stuff? Wouldn’t that be rape? I guess I can understand how people wouldn’t think kissing is sexual, I’ve kissed my friend before, took baths together platonically, etc some people do actually do stuff like that. It is inherently sexual, but sometimes people do stuff for fun especially when they’re high I get that.

Ppl in the reblogs are like “how is it anyone’s business if someone is asexual” it’s not my business at all, but if they say they are asexual, meaning they are not interested in sex ever, but they’re still having sex or doing sexual stuff, then yeah I am concerned bc that sounds like rape?? Yeah that is concerning actually. Are they being pressured? Coerced? Do they feel obligated? Most of the people who identify as asexual seem to be women so this could be a feminist issue.

I love hating men. I love knowing that my worth has nothing to do with them. I love saving money because I refuse to by overpriced makeup that makes people look like clowns. I love not cutting myself on accident because I dont shave. I wish harm upon men and I wish only good things for women. I feel free

Just wanna say this separately that there are also men who shame women for giving birth via caesarean section instead of through 'natural birth,' isn’t it appalling how a woman’s pain is invalidated, their exhaustion dismissed because she gave birth in a non lethal way?. Can’t believe the expectation to endure and sacrifice is being glorified. They are fully aware that childbirth is a potentially fatal and excruciatingly painful process, yet some still go on to rape their wives or coerce them into having another child.

I was going to write about this too. I swear yall always have the best topics when I'm brain dead from school. It's a female pain fetish. I'll elaborate later, but there's a whole fetishized cultural attitude towards the pain of birth. As you get older, when women unify, they tend to gravitate towards their "birth story" where everyone tries to one up each other with how bad and painful their experience was. Women know men see childbirth as torture porn.

the “torture porn” thing is so real , I’ve written about this before where like in movies the way child birth is shown *looks* like fucking porn in a way. Close up shots of the woman’s face, etc. it’s always shot in such a weird fucking way. And why do so many movies have to have a birthing scene. Why. It’s unnecessary. Why show that. It’s like they’re saying “haha look what women who give birth have to go thru” and rubbing it in our faces and reminding us how traumatic it is. And the way male medicine has women give birth on our backs with our legs spread is also *weird* , the correct position is standing or squatting. And men shame women for both vaginal and c section, they just shame women for giving birth period. Yet they demand it from women, they demand we as a class give birth as much as possible yet they shame us for doing it and shame us for how we look afterwards. Idk if c section is a safer way to do it , from what I understand both ways are pretty lethal I actually thought c section was more dangerous bc I thought it was like a major surgery and the healing time for it is way longer. Even tho vaginal birth sucks ass and rips the vagina which is terrible, I mean having your sex organ ripped is just so incredibly nightmarish fr but I prefer that over c section any day. Men could just never imagine what it’s like to have your sex organ ripped and torn , much less what it’s like to face the possibility of death during it.