yellowjackets has disappointed me in many ways and it will continue to do so but by god every week shauna shipman becomes more and more of a bad ya boyfriend. as a gift for me
oh btw I’m officially putting my money on Callie having killed lottie. they very deliberately call your attention to all the adult yellowjackets’ lack of alibi but Callie also fucked off and then was absent from this ep. I’m hoping lottie manipulated her into something weird
mark my words. walter is gonna get a DNA match on the hair he got from shauna’s hat and it’s gonna be because it was callie
reblog and put in the tags the earliest songs you remember actively liking as a child (asking adults to play them for you, learning the lyrics, being excited when they came on the radio etc.)
This is heavily-paraphrased because 1) it happened a while back, and the conversations were longer and involved a lot more of me going “no! no! augh,” and 2) the case was not actually about Ale-8 bottles, but its actual focus was similarly-specific, which would have made it really easy to look up.
Dad: Can you value a collection of old Ale-8 bottles for me, honey?
Me: …possibly, but I’m not going to. Is this a blasting case again? Did someone’s designated used Ale-8 bottle shelf fall over?
Dad: No, they got stolen. He had this shed or big closet or something totally full of collectible Ale-8 bottles, he’s got all these insurance photos, he’d had them appraised by the national Ale-8 bottle expert -
Mom: Dear…
Dad: No, he’s definitely really upset about these lost Ale-8 bottles! He’s traumatized! Do you think I don’t deal with liars? …He thinks his estranged drug-addict relative stole the Ale-8 bottles.
Me: No. That did not happen.
Mom: That’s probably not what happened, dear.
Dad: Drug addicts steal stuff all the time, what is this -
Me: Dad, no, this is fucking logistically -
Dad: - don’t, I’m telling the story, stop it - “logistically” -
Me: A drug addict would not steal and hock a huge collection of Ale-8 bottles! They’re heavy and fragile and that’s a ridiculous specialist hobby, logistically it’d be way too -
Mom: The bottles were definitely stolen, dear?
Me: Why wouldn’t you just steal, like, the TV? Or the car or whatever?! You don’t steal the Ale-8 bottles!
