juno | 22 | they/them my interests: animatronics (mostly rae), shovel knight, dnd, + most nintendo or indie games ! feel free to send me an ask or somethin proship + terfs dni
My first set of FNV charms are finally available! These ~2 inch, double-sided, double-charm keychains are perfect to hang off a bag, zipper, belt loop, or anything else you can clasp them onto! All three characters are going for the platinum chip- who do you think should snag it?
These will only be available on my kofi store for ONE WEEK, so grab one while you can!
The conversations about accountability & apologies that we’ve been having in social justice circles these last few years have basically trained everybody to fawn.
We’ve been telling people that if they are accused of any wrongdoing or of hurting anybody’s feelings, it is their obligation to apologize immediately, and never to hedge, disagree, or to explain their rationale what they’ve done.
In their apology, we expect them to articulate every single thing that they have done that was damaging in the strongest language possible and to declare outright that they have harmed someone, often multiple groups of people, even if they are not sure of the impact (or could not even possibly be sure).
If a person’s apology is anything but immediate and entirely self-excoriating, we accuse the person of downplaying the damage they have done, failing to be accountable, and manipulating others.
In this way, we’ve made it impossible for a person to ever take their own side lest that be taken itself as a form of wrongdoing. We have trained our fellow social-justice-minded people to believe that if they do anything but worsen the case against themselves, they are being irresponsible.
I say we, in all of this, because I have partaken in all of this rhetoric, made these kinds of criticism, given accused people this type of advice.
And I have followed it myself, often to a damaging effect.
I have taken responsibility for problems in which I truly did not believe I played a part, I’ve overstated the damage that I’ve done so as not to risk understating it, I’ve ascribed malice to my intentions when I knew it wasn’t there, I’ve agreed with people’s most negative, bad-faith narratives about conflicts involving me that they were not even present for, offered up information about myself that was not a third party’s business in the name of transparency, apologized for things I haven’t done – and in doing all of this, I have denied my loved ones the opportunity to really hear me about what I was going through and my motivations when I was in conflict with them, things that any true friend or close associate would obviously want to hear about if they cared about me.
This aim of giving the perfect apology and taking perfect accountability has been nothing but an isolating force in my life, because it has barred me from openly entering into necessary conflict with people when our needs were incompatible or they had hurt me just as much as I’d hurt them. The fear of being a manipulative, unaccountable DARVO-er has led me to roll onto my back and expose my belly, falling over myself with panicked apologies and the most unflattering information possible cast in the least explicable light, almost outright begging for others to become angrier at me and believing that it was only way I could ever possibly be accepted back.
We’ve drilled into people that the way to be good and responsible is to allow people to view us as negatively as possible, to even arm others with information that will confirm that point of view, and to never insert our own perspective or needs on the matter at all.
And yeah, there are a lot of shitty people out there who dodge accountability easily because their power ensconces them from any consequences. but the primary problem with that was never that they wrote a shitty notesapp apology that used the unforgivable phrase “I am sorry ifyoufelt XYZ.” The real problem was that there was no community that held enough influence to hold them to account, and for their victims there weren’t ever adequate supports or protections.
instead of addressing any of that in a remotely systematic way, we have taken to picking apart every accused person’s every word and deed for evidence of inner moral failure and created a culture in which we think we can determine a person’s safety by how artfully they put words together when they are under threat. and what do you know, plenty of bad faith actors and conflict avoidant cowards and people who just dont understand what they are even being accused of can do that just fine.
So I just learned from the official Sonic Instagram account that Sega has a Shadow statue in one of their buildings
In case anyone’s wondering, this appears to be the same one that was on display at E3 to promote Shadow’s game. Yes, the statue where there are multiple images of people posing in front of it execution-style
guy with 60hz monitor: i am enjoying playing this game
guy with 240hz monitor: Honestly if you were to conceive of the most efficient possible torture in terms of purely causing agony for as long as possible and also have your firstborn son killed in front of you during the torture it would not even be a tenth as bad as playing a game at 60 fps
Guy with a laptop: Yeah I’m happy if it runs at 20 fps
ALT
