The multi-fandom ramblings and re-sharings of a person who finished her PhD and doesn't have to feel guilty about not working on her dissertation anymore!
ok i just got this thought out of nowhere but blog divers (people who scroll through a blog and reblog things that were posted YEARS AGO) are actually a super important part of the tumblr ecosystem
With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see
do not feel bad about diving through someone’s blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive
(and if anyone has a problem with that, they can just block you or they can delete the root post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, two things that have absolutely no effect on the grand scheme of our lives)
Cycling nutrients (old tumblr posts) from the ocean floor (mutual’s blog archive) to increase (dashboard) ecosystem productivity
Whale Fall Scavengers Spreading Vital Nutrients From The Surface Back Into The Ecosystem
why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.
Don’t tell me delayed orgasms aren’t a thing
learning new things about the german rail system today
Because it turns out that what Logan really, really loves is getting railed. And not in the criminally underfunded Via Rail way, where you get trapped behind a freight train going forty for twelve hours and have to wait in line for the poorly ventilated bathroom. What Logan likes is the full on Japanese bullet train experience.
Yeah uh sorry but we’re denying you the medication that makes you regrow the hands you lost in the accident due to cancer risk.
Oh the type of cancer? Hand cancer. It’s. It’s significantly higher when you have hands.
Higher than for the general population of people with hands? Uhhhhhhhhh well now you’re asking really complicated and sort of ideologically motivated questions.
if parks and rec was still being made they’d do a bit where ron swanson has to wear a pronouns name tag and it’d just be “???/???” And it’d cut to a talking head of him going
“I’ve been a fool all this time. It’s bad enough the government knows my name, but now they want to know my gender? So I’m not letting them know my preferred pronouns. As far as I’m concerned, no one in this building should refer to me at all.”
Ron walks into the main area of the office like “Everyone, announcement! I notice that you have been referring to me with he/him pronouns for YEARS. As I do not think the government has any business knowing my personal information, this behavior may incline them to make conclusions that they have no business even thinking about. Therefore, I request that you switch it up from now on. Keep em guessing. That is all.”
He tries to turn around and walk back into his office, but Leslie starts crying and saying Supportive Things about how proud she is to see him exploring his gender and immediately switches to they/them; she instructs Ben and Ann to do the same. Donna and Chris go for she/her, for different reasons.
Tom assures Ron that he will use only the slickest, coolest, dopest designer pronouns; he sweeps in the next day and announces that he’s put together a powerpoint of the most stylish and fashionable neopronouns to come out of Milan this season. The powerpoint includes the scarf, cologne and sunglasses that pair best with each option. Jerry is the only one to attend this presentation, which leaves him even more Big Confused about the whole thing than he already was. In Jerry’s efforts to clumsily be an ally, he keeps accidentally “misgendering” Ron four different times in four different ways in every interaction and apologizing elaborately for every single mistake, thereby inadvertently doing the best job out of any of them at fulfilling the brief.
Andy does not know what a pronoun is, but in the spirit of himbo helpfulness, he’s made a list of Words that he knows Ron likes, such as “sandwich”, “woodworking”, and “bacon”. (Ron snatches it, tears it up, throws it in the trash, and sets the trash basket on fire, and firmly instructs Andy to never again mention anything that Ron likes while inside a government building.)
April, of course, keeps using he/him until Ron calls her into his office to re-explain the strategy of Operation: Muddy The Waters, whereupon she blinks owlishly at him and says, “I mean, isn’t that just what they’d expect you to do if you were trying to hide something from the government? If you exclude one pronoun, then they know that’s the one you care about. You have to double-bluff them.” Ron squints at her for a long moment and says flatly, “Hm. Go back to your desk.” The camera stays on Ron watching her through his window as his voiceover says, “April is a valuable employee. I look forward to one day when she leaves this hellhole and uses her strategic genius and insider knowledge to tear down the government.”
because we don’t want too many twitter-attitude people here, everyone rebog this with rent lowering gunshot posts please
we say faggot and death and other Mean Words™ here
We are also just as cringe as your guidance counselor said we are
KILL SHIT CUM SUICIDE SUICIDE FAGGOT CUNT CUNT CUNT DYKE SEX DYKE DYKE DYKE TRANNY VAGINA VAGINA CUM SEX SEX TRANNY CUM SHIT PENIS SUICIDE MURDER SEX FAGGOT QUEER QUEER QUEER QUEER
SEX WORK IS REAL WORK
ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS
THE ONLY GOOD COP IS A DEAD COP
PORN RULES
PURITY CULTURE IS FOR LOSER CUNTS
there’s no money to be made here and your fave is not a fave here
There is no algorithm. You don’t get to choose what goes viral. We do not give a fuck how famous you are on other sites. We do not watch videos, and if we do, it’s usually with sound off. I do not know the real names of pretty much anyone on this site, and we like it that way.
going viral is a punishment, not a reward
I don’t think millennials should be blamed for Twitter, that was Elon Musk.
biggest reason i make so many flop posts on here is because everything i do reeks of the desperation to make a popular tumblr post. this is deliberate, because it is what protects me from ACTUALLY making a popular tumblr post. so long as i crave it, tumblr fame will never find me. it is only when i turn away, and accept my fate of obscurity, that people will lay their eyes upon me. and it WILL be because i tripped and fell on my stupid face while i was turning
