This reminds me of a fic that make use of Tony's knowledge of guns to explain how he knows to disarm (as in, unmake the gun, not the act of getting it out of hands), and how he knows how to use them, which are all stuff I can see, but with that popping into my brain as I looked at this post, and thinking of another fic using a similar idea (a character realize Tony is a civilian when faced with how he's reacting to a situation), it all came to the idea that knowing how to use a gun doesn't mean you are trained to do it.
Honestly sometimes I'm the first person to often forget Tony is a civilian, and even if you can see his development into a not-regular-civilian because he just has to grow habits and trains to be Iron Man, he still isn't a trained soldier or agent at the start. Even after, he doesn't have the years of experience Rhodey has that make it all become second nature.
It's the same with the Avengers, especially the initial ones: outside of Bruce, everyone else are trained soldiers or agent. Thor, Steve, Natasha, Clint? All trained. With many years under their belt, its second nature to them.
It adds to why he's inspiring, for me: I always loved that, once he had a wake up call, he followed it. People can live what he lived through, yet return to their habits, or develop worse habits, or become "meaner" rather than kinder. He didn't. He took to heart Yinsen last words to not waste his life (to make something out of his life). Yeah, he stumbled along the way, but that's what we do as people. What matters is: he picks himself back up, learn, and improve each time. He does his best.
And then you realize what it means that he is a civilian: for all his genius, being a civilian mean not being trained to deal with life or death situation, with fighting other people, with fighting threats, and by that I mean on the daily. It's one thing to know self-defence, its another to constantly put yourself in danger and know you might die. It's one thing to know how to defend against another person, its another to constantly find yourself in situations where you might
Tony does not have this training when he starts as Iron Man. And that means he is akin to you or I, most regular citizens who aren't in any field that require this type of training, civilians, and it makes it all the more impactul he becomes a hero. Yes, he isn't quite the "regular citizen", but he's the definition of someone who simply used what they had for the purpose of hero-ing. His "superpower" is his brain. Not just building, but his tendency to seek to fix and improve, and then I also want to say his heart, once he truly came to put it forward.
And that's despite the way he is genuinely traumatized by near death experiences he's had. Not that, and not even the person presented as the person he is in love with, who is shown to not necessarily want him to put himself in danger, can stop him from doing so. He only seem to do so when, from his point of view, he failed and not only did countless living beings died, but he watched someone he deeply cared about turn to dust in his arms.
I don't believe he genuinely wanted to stop doing what Iron Man does. I believe it broke him, and he stopped believing in the one thing that defined him: that he can get up, and find a solution. And that when he "retired". We've seen him genuienly want a family at the start of Infinity War, yet he still wasn't willing to give up for some of protection, of Iron Man's presence in his life. If they had won, and he lived, knowing he has a new generation he trusts to do good? Maybe he might have stopped going out as Iron Man, maybe. But he would still find ways to do what he's been doing.
So yeah, I believe it broke him, and even when he was presented with a solution, the fear of loosing what he had left (like he lost Peter), almost overpowered any "re-awakening" of this side of him that just can't rest if he doesn't work out a solution to the problem he wants to fix. He almost didn't feel like he should fix it, because last tried, he failed. And if it broke him so badly last time that he stopped being Iron Man (which is symbollicaly part of him, not anything you can remove), then what if he failed after daring to hope? That would destroy him.
Which is why I love that the picture with Peter, and his relation to Peter, was so vital: the narrative makes us understand that, even if maybe Tony would have ended up unable to sit still on his own, just like he needed Yinsen to become Iron Man, he needed Peter to become Iron Man again. He remembered everything Peter stood for, and that's what made the decision for him.
Yeah, I'm the first to love the idea he did it for Peter as much as for everyone, but I love even more the idea that Tony had this trope moment of "what would X do/what would X tell me right now".
If Peter hadn't been such an instrumental part of Tony's life, it goes unsaid whether or not he would have been able to overcome that fear of failing once more, and of loosing what he had. To overcome that deep hurt that made him put away Iron Man.
Whichever way you want to explore their relationship, you can't deny that the narrative paint Peter and Tony has having had a deep impact on each other. In this case, it literally saves their whole universe. And who Tony was for Peter can be seen impacting his own decisions after. I kind of want to consider the idea that, just like Tony sacrified everything to save their universe (his life, knowing his loved one and family would be left without him), Peter sacrified everything to do the same (a figurative "giving up his own life", and knowing his loved ones would be left without him, if in a different manner).
Like mirrors of each other, which to me is what their first encounter also feels like. Peter's sense of responsibility is what Tony has been reaching for, regardless of any mistakes he's made. That's why Tony says "I want you to be better", he sees himself in Peter, the best parts. And I find it beautiful (if ouch my heart) that their "final moment" of their current narrative are mirrored ideas.
Both sacrificed everything to save their universe, the last time we have seen them. And at least one of them "returned" to hero-ing thanks to the other. Which... is kinda mirrored too?
Like I said, Tony became Iron Man again thanks to Peter. But to some degree, Peter truly became Spider-Man again thanks to Tony. In FFH, while he does go out as Spider-Man, we can see the way he actually wants to just "take a vacation". But Beck comes to "haunt" him with Tony, and then, Peter finally address how much he misses Tony, and Happy's words which are indirectly, Tony's "ghost" speaking were vital for Peter to really return to being Spider-Man: Tony never once doubted Peter.
Which is big, and Happy makes a point to express it: Tony always double guessed himself. That's what made him great at what he did, if something that can be unhealthy. Yet, he never second guessed Peter. It is Tony's faith in Peter that allowed Peter to finally stand back up after a bad fall, the same way Peter's whole is why Tony stood back up from the bad fall that was their loss on Titan.
And I didn't actually think it would lead there when I first started, but all of this I realize is very much a lot of points that will be the reason why Peter is picked by a specific "being" to do something specific in my main ficline idea that floats in my brain for MCU, but also why this specific being actually wants to help both Peter and Tony.
Independently, but most of all, together, they displayed the exact thing they had been waiting for to give their true power into trusted hands.
Hint: if you have no Soul, how do you wield Power? How do you have a Mind? How can you create Reality, Time or Space?
(If curious, the ideas for this ficline will be mostly played with on my other blog, crossoverfamily, and on the blog there are already some posts about it, if to be taken as "developing" aka nothing is strictly set in stone, its more general ideas. But yeah, I strongly suggest keeping an eye on my other blog if you're curious, as it might be a while before anything for that storyline gets posted here!)
