I'm Liz, I'm a 30’s-ish smokeshow baeddel, trans woman who’s been out for over a decade and a lesbian in Southern California. My pronouns are she/her only. this blog is my personal blog so it's going to mainly be a lot of posts about sailor moon, star trek, and feminism.
transfem t4t happens for any number of reasons not the least of which is that it’s beautiful and wonderful and connecting, but the reality is that it also happens because quite frankly almost every transfem i know has had a horrific experience of a relationship with a tme transgender person who was viciously abusive and transmisogynist to them and happily and readily wielded transmisogyny as a weapon.
I’ve already gotten so many responses to this post from transfems sharing their own experiences with this kind of violence. it breaks my heart. i wish this world could deserve us. i wish that none of us had to be hurt like this ever again. it breaks my heart and it fills me with anger. you all deserved so much better than you got. you deserved to be treated with love and dignity. by god, we must repair this world.
I’ve already had one jackass comment about “not participating in tme/tma discourse” and basically calling me a bigot on this post, so let me just say: the reality is that this happens. i’m sorry if that fucking offends your sensibilities or makes your pick-me anxieties buzz or whatever the fuck but the reality is that this happens. and that there are real human costs to these kinds of power structures being allowed to infiltrate into interpersonal violence. and that transgender women are gender oppressed among gender oppressed and that we are frequently and casually subjected to gendered violence. including by loved ones, who choose to wield the gendered power they have over us as a weapon. and i’m sorry if that upsets you, Woman With A Trans Man Husband. but the reality is that even if you are so lucky as to have never been subjected to gendered violence by your husband, not all of us have had such luck in our own lives. And frankly I think if we were cisgender you would understand immediately the severity of the fucking gall to say “Fuck you for saying that Husbands Hurt Their Wives, I Have A Husband and he’s never hurt me!” Like do you fucking hear yourself. People use gendered violence against us because it’s easy, because they can get away with it; because it’s powerful, and it affords material benefits to their lives; and because they do not view us as equals to them.
That we might all be so lucky as to have never had this experience but I think the evidence from the myriad of comments on this post alone speaks to the prevalence of this phenomenon.
My heart breaks for my sisters who are sequestered in prisons of one-bedroom apartments, trapped in abusive relationships with TME people who will knowingly and gleefully exploit their vulnerability and precarity for their personal benefit. they treat us like toys and use us in every way that matters and then when we have the audacity to request we be treated as humans they attempt social murder upon us, frequently to their success. So many of my sisters live silent lives where their sobs are never heard behind closed doors they will never leave from. And frankly I think if you have such a callous heart about their plight I think you have some fucking soul searching to do.
I am on record for saying this in the privacy of trusted others but you know what? i’ll commit to this in public. giving a TME person who is in a relationship with a transfem access to therapy speak is like handing someone a loaded gun. i don’t fucking trust that shit.
Lightfoot, JL. ‘Sacred Eunucism in the Cult of the of the Syrian Goddess’. Eunuchs in Antiquity and Beyond, edited by Shaun F. Tougher and Raʿanan S. Boustan, The Classical Press of Wales [u.a.], 2002, pp. 71–86.
imagining a fantasy world where transmisogyny has recently been like… cut in half. and fandom people have to deal with their #fruity guy blorbos actually transitioning and becoming women. imagine june egbert but its happening to MCU fans.
i just want it to happen once. god, please. let one of the mediocre Sad Man television shows that tumblr gets obsessed with reveal tumblr’s favorite Tortured Angsty Guy has been a trans woman the whole time.
VERY IMPORTANT this needs to happen after AT LEAST one season so the fandom can get a whole year’s worth of obsession before they discover he’s not fruity in a fun dismissable yaoi boy way but is actually a she/her transgender woman.
and of course she will continue to be a main character and will transition and present as a girl and get a dozen A- and B- plots about the transfeminine experience and these fuckers will have to explain why they suddenly stopped watching after episode 2.2 Meet Bonnibel
Humans didn’t make the big ben. Do you really think those dumbass Britains could make a clock that big? Those big gears are way too heavy, how’d they get those up there. No way. It was the beasts
#as a professional carnie i gotta say#wlw have a special inate ability at these games i swear to god#there used to be some kind of year#yearly retreat for?? idk what but it was made of almost entirely butch women#and there would be like a whole day the part was just overrun by gay ladies#and when the catering hall let their party out they all wanted nothing more than clean fucking house for their gifriends and wivesa#we all knew it was coming. wed all be like todays the lesbian day guys get everything stocked#and this isnt like the o be weird or something abt butch women being strong or athletic#i mean they would win games of chance way more often than straight couples#gay dudes do not factor in cuz we all suck balls at those games literally they were all awful#one very out gay coworker i had would openly tell them like look from one of us to another keep walking these arent for us they just arent#but girls? girls dating other girls? it was on sight they all won all the time (via @transkeiichi)
“Today’s the lesbian day guys get everything stocked” is sending me
