Catgrass🌌🌌

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
sreppub
susiethemoderator

OH MY GOD.

earthnicity

“I was 14, I didn’t know what I was doing.”

whaT THE FUCK

smallestwitchwiththebiggesthat

This story has no goddamn brakes

ukulelehitter

(transcript because I couldn’t find one in the notes)

Stephen Colbert: A lot of writers say they were nerdy kids, unpopular, like outcasts, or that sort of thing; was that your experience growing up?

BJ Novak: I think that’s exaggerated, I think a lot of people love to say, ‘oh I was such a nerd’ or ‘I was such a rebel, I sat in the back of the bus’. Most people sat in the middle of the bus. That’s how buses work. So, you know, people say-

Colbert: So you were sitting in the middle?

Novak: Yeah, that’s where I sat! I mean, I did my homework and y'know, dreamed of being a bit of a rebel. I did a very nerdy version of rebellion, which I guess is sort of my way of balancing where I sat on the bus.
When I was 14, I got it in my head that I wanted a fake ID. and I committed what- the only term for it is ‘identity theft’, to get this fake ID. So this is the kind of nerd- I’ve never told this story before, this is pretty much the nerdiest way you can be like, ‘a bad kid’. I went to the Newton library where I grew up, and I went through their polling records… buckle in.

Colbert: I think you’ve already - just that sentence has violated a federal law, but go ahead.

Novak: Yeah, there’s a handful of these, and I actually tried to google the statute of limitations on this before the show and couldn’t get the WiFi.

Colbert: Okay.

Novak: So I looked up -this is true- I looked up someone that was 21 years old, through their polling records.

Colbert: And you’re 14.

Novak: I was 14 years old, I looked up someone who was 21 who had my same first name and initial, because I thought, “if I get drunk” -I had never been drunk. I was like, “if I forget my name, I can’t get busted”. So I found someone who was “Benjamin J. [something]”. So I found this guy’s name and I thought, “if I can just forge all his documents, I can go to the DMV and say I lost my license and they’ll give me a new license with his picture”, this is my plan.  
So first I need to know where he’s born so I can get his birth certificate, so I call his house. I ask for him, I don’t know what i would have done, I get his brother and I say “I work with Ben, we’re doing a crossword puzzle based on his life for his birthday. Can you tell me what town he was born in?’. So he told me and I took the subway there and I got his birth certificate.

Colbert: How- You went to the- You went to like the county clerk and said-

Novak: They didn’t ask for ID, they just gave me his birth certificate. Then I opened up a mailbox in his name and wrote- I was 14, I didn’t know what i was doing- I wrote to the IRS.

Colbert: Uh-huh…

Novak: And I filled out tax forms in his name. And then I went to the DMV and said “I lost my wallet and I need to-this is all i have”. And i looked 14 years old, but I had these documents, so they sent me to the backroom with this woman who sized me up and said “I can’t give you this, you don’t even have a picture”, and then said with a wry smile on her face, “Open your wallet right now.”
and like a true method actor, the only thing I had in my wallet was a library card I had signed in his name.
And she approved it, and for the rest of high school I had this actual driver’s license, with my picture on it.

[audience cheering]

Novak: I’m glad we have some support. You have a look on your face- I don’t know if that was funny or if you just broke the law…

Colbert: It was fantastic, I just hope you have a good lawyer.

discordantq

“I was 14, I didn’t know what I was doing” said of a caper pulled off with a calculated, methodical demeanor that would make Hannibal Lecter blush

myboobsaresentientbeeings
stellerfly

"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity

pizzaronipasta

Oh gee, you're right! Why didn't the people who can't even move their arms think of just making a painting? /s

And before anyone starts spouting some "art is more than just painting" spiel, you don't know what kind of art someone might need to make in order to express their vision. An artist may have a very specific idea in mind to create the perfect piece of graphic art, and using music, performance, etc. just won't cut it for them. AI is a tool that can help the disabled in so many ways. Not even just with art. Get off your high horse and accept that disabled people have different needs and, guess what, ABILITIES than you do. Fuck you, asshole.

stellerfly

you are a tar pit.

pizzaronipasta

and you are ableist.

stellerfly

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pizzaronipasta

you're fighting against a tool that makes art more accessible, and actively dismissing the notion that it could even possibly be doing that. this IS ableist. YOU are the tar pit in this situation.

stellerfly

L+Ratio+It doesn't+i slept w your mom

cripple-woe

Hi I’m disabled I’m crippled I have a disorder that makes my fingers suddenly dislocate while I’m holding my pencil I have a spinal issue that makes it hard for me to bend over a desk half of the time I have leg issues that make it difficult for me to get around etc etc etc. I also have a bunch of other issues I don’t want to tell you about.

I’m also in art college. And even if I wasn’t, I’ve been doing art for almost a decade now. I’ve been disabled the whole bloody time.

AI, isn’t art.

There are many disabled artists and we have adapted our own ways of dealing with how we create. Fuck you, we have been doing this forever.

Vincent Van Gogh had temporal lobe epilepsy; Henri Matisse became a wheelchair user after surgery for cancer; Michelangelo had osteoarthritis, limiting mobility and causing pain in his hands and feet.

Paul Smith had a severe case of cerebral palsy and created art using typewriters.

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Peter Longstaff has no arms due to Thalidomide, and paints with his feet.

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Frida Kahlo not only had polio that disabled her as a child, but of course as we all know was injured in a bus accident at the age of 18, which caused her lifelong pain and medical problems.

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Fuck, you want a personal annecdote? I knew a girl (we have lost touch since) who was paralysed from the neck down and she painted with her mouth and there are other artists who do so too! And with eye tracking technology I’m sure disabled artists will be getting more and more tools as the years pass. But we do NOT condone AI art. All that does is put us, real disabled artists, who exist and need support, out of jobs and commissions.

Fuck you.

solstice-snakes

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hi, another disabled person here for more personal anecdotes! here is an art piece i made entirely with my non dominant hand 1 week before my most recent shoulder surgery on that same arm. i also wear splint rings to keep my fingers from dislocating while painting (or playing bass guitar cause i do that too). i make most of my income off hand painted art despite having hand tremors, frequent wrist dislocations/subluxations, and migraines.

my friend and her wife also make their incomes off wig making, leatherwork, and digital collage prints. both have chronic pain as well.

our lines arent perfect because we have shaky hands but thats ok, make it a feature not a flaw in your art. fuck AI.

punk-jaskier

Anyone who thinks physically disabled people need to use art stealing AI to make our own art is the ableist, actually.

Mine isn't as drastic (yet) but I've been having to wear wrist braces and finger splints since childhood off and on because using my hands in a repetitive motions causes them to be in pretty excruciating pain.

What is my art medium of choice? Knitting. You know, that thing where you have to do a repetitive motion over and over again. I hold my needles a bit strange, I knit through the pain, I sometimes have to give up working on it for weeks at a time. But I will not stop because it's what makes my heart sing.

Disabled artists don't need your pity, we've been getting by, doing what makes us happy despite the pain and hardships for thousands of years, probably longer, I bet there were neolithic disabled artists.

No actual real artist wants or uses AI, including disabled artists. AI is for losers who are scared of the extremely important phase in art where you suck and want to skip it by stealing and not even in a cool "I'm emulating your style because I wanna learn from it" way.

Go suck at art for a couple years like the rest of us and stop talking over disabled artists.

icemankazansky

Can I just add

Chuck Close

Chuck Close was a painter and photographer who specialized in ENORMOUS portraiture. If you've never been in the same room as one of his works, try to remedy that if you can, because it is an awesome experience. Close had a number of mental and physical conditions as a child, but in 1988, in his 40s and already a celebrated artist, he suffered a blood clot that left him paralyzed from the neck down. After intensive physical therapy, he was able to regain enough control to move his arms (more his upper arms than forearms), enabling him to paint with a brush strapped to his wrist. He adapted his painting style for his disability... and he continued painting enormous, hyper realistic portraits.

Close with self-portraits before (left) and after (right) his paralysis:

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the-official-publix-deactivated

yeah top guy who said ai art is ‘accessible’ fuck you.

Humans adapt, as we have for years. Theft will not stop humanity.

the-haiku-bot

Humans adapt, as

we have for years. Theft will not

stop humanity.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

rosslynpaladin

I have a neuroimmune disorder that messes up my brains commands to my hand and my cognitive ability to make art at all.

This is a problem as I am a Classically Trained Artist and Illustrator, like that's my Not-Degree I spent years in school for. I've been a professional in this line of work. I can't work any more.

I did this cartoon hand sheet here trying to reteach myself things I have difficulty with since having my brain damaged by ME/CFS.

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Art has always been accessible, and also Fuck You if you claim Theft-Generative AI makes art "accessible" it just makes art easy to STEAL.

what-alchemy

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Irish artist Christy Brown, subject of the Academy Award-winning film My Left Foot. Can you guess what he used to paint?

AI is plagiarism. AI is stealing. AI has no humanity to it, no heart. AI cannot have a perspective. AI has nothing to say. Art is art because a human being was moved to make it. Not only to make it, but to work at it.

Saying disabled artists need AI to create art is patronizing ableist bullshit.

Just admit you don't want to work hard to create and leave art to the artists.

enthusiasmgirl

Reblogging this whole long chain because the list of artists who perservered even while living with disability is rad, but also because this bit made me actually fist pump the air.

No actual real artist wants or uses AI, including disabled artists. AI is for losers who are scared of the extremely important phase in art where you suck and want to skip it by stealing and not even in a cool "I'm emulating your style because I wanna learn from it" way.

HA! Glorious.

And yeah, people need to stop making statements as though they speak for the entirety of whatever group they claim to be the voice of. When someone does that? And then uses whole person describing words like ableist or racist like loaded insults to shut someone with an opinion they don't like down and avoid actually engaging with the other person's real concerns (like AI's impact on how we value art, or AI as plagiarism and theft, or AI's impact on the environment or AI's relationship to empty Silicon Valley financial hype or data privacy issues it creates, etc.)? Beware those people. And go out and actually double-check on other voices of that group before you take their word for it.

defnotcatgrass
batfamhastwitter

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Hey guys, so I may or may not have gotten a cease and desist letter from DC... allegedly. It is for this reason that this twitter au will shift focus away from DC characters to my own original characters that I have been developing for a while. Thank you to everyone who has supported me this far, and I hope that you'll continue to support the new turn that this blog takes!

wait why am i stupid
batfamhastwitter
batfamhastwitter

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Hey guys, so I may or may not have gotten a cease and desist letter from DC... allegedly. It is for this reason that this twitter au will shift focus away from DC characters to my own original characters that I have been developing for a while. Thank you to everyone who has supported me this far, and I hope that you'll continue to support the new turn that this blog takes!

WHAT