super cute executioner with over 40 years of experience but people are chill with it because of my nice and positive attitude
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my cute elf dot com

chips1977:

the noob who trolled back

friends and i have started saying Rubs my belly or Rubs your belly as a multipurpose answer to many different situations and it’s working wonderfully. you should try it

toskarin:

toskarin:

ganurath:

toskarin:

toskarin:

toskarin:

recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I’ve been using to get let’s just say a little bit extra out of it on long days

added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it’s cold outside

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to be honest with you it’s swollen as fuck and that’s why I’m rocking with it

Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.

this one’s just a phone

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if it was a bomb and not a phone I couldn’t make a call on it, but I can because it’s a phone, although it will be to the fun department instead of the fire department

maidthings:

being into elf ears is probably one of the funniest possible fetishes. what are we even doing here anymore

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elis grabbing her fat centipede

winonaparadise:

USAmerican convention artists handwringing about their businesses getting hurt because of how heavily they rely on imports from China and other foreign manufacturers I’m going to be super real with you i do not think your blorbo-based-economy was worth exploiting cheap labor for in the first place

flipchild:

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bikini armor horse