ok, so, big all encompassing digirainebow content post incoming <3
at the time of posting this, it has almost been 9 months since my last upload, lol and lmao. this has been for many reasons, all of them lifechanging, some unbelievably good and some very bad. i do have most of my next youtube video edited (persona 3 reload, part 2), but i haven’t been able to work on it for a while now and i am not sure when i will have the time, means, or want to finish it, or make any more videos at all, since moving out on my own finally has shifted my priorities drastically. getting an apartment soon and paying for all my own amenities makes having a chunky PC more of a stress!
another one of the biggest hiccups with this is choosing to switch mainly to livestreaming last year. twitch has recently decided to remove the highlights feature, which was everything to me because i am not a twitch partner. so i am currently having to back up all 300+ hours of persona 3 and etc. gaming footage to youtube, otherwise i would have nothing to make videos with. it sucks severely. and i never wanted to stay on twitch anyway, so this makes me want to switch to youtube live even more, if i do, in fact, return to live content. i really want to, but i have complex thoughts and feelings about burn out and social anxiety relating to being live that i am still sorting through.
i think, if and when i go back to streaming, it will be for games that feel like big events, like persona 3 reload. i do not regret playing the other games i played on stream, but moving forward i think this will be a lot better for me in the long run. i will be updating my backloggd accordingly, but expect things like disco elysium, persona 5 tactica, more baldur’s gate 3…long story games, things that really need to be documented in their entirety. everything else i will either make youtube videos for or play on my own time. at the very least i know now that i am not equipped to stream everything constantly.
thank you all for sticking by me <3 see you when i see you
a big part of being happy is being excited. be excited for everything - making a cup of tea, decorating your future apartment, seeing a friend again, falling in love unexpectedly, the next episode of a show you like, finishing something stressful, buying something you’ve been saving up for, a new album, sunsets, traveling, road trips, and the feeling of going to bed after a long day. think of something to be excited about and daydream about it often when you’re sad.
You're not gonna believe this. I saw the notification about your birthday, got excited, walked home and stood outside. Little brother's back from winter!! I saw heeem!! Happy birthday :3
the way this almost made me burst into tears. hello little brother, hello robin 💛 so good to see you, what a great gift
“came back wrong” you could not come back wrong even if you tried. you’ve changed, beyond recognition, but while my eyes may not know you, my heart still does. i love you.
we all love timeloops, but what piece of media introduced you to the concept? i feel like it says a lot about how and why someone enjoys them. reblog and tag with your first loop!
btw being excessively nonconfrontational is NOT a positive trait. it does not mean u are “too nice” or just too kind to hurt people, it means u have a problem communicating and you need to work on it.
There are people in the notes saying that the alternative reason is that they’re doing it because of trauma and i gotta say that
1) same. I did have this same problem and reason for doing it.
2) this is not actually an alternate reason. You guys also have a problem communicating and while you can trace exactly WHY you have trouble communicating that doesn’t mean it’s okay to treat everyone like they’re potentially your former abuser and that you DO still need to work on this.
‘This behavior comes from trauma’ and ‘This behavior is harmful to you, to others and to your relationships with others’ are two truths that can co-exist, and that do co-exist quite frequently.
