i hear summer breathe for the first time in nearly a year.
she is slowly thawing, coming back to life a little at a time.
she starts with dandelions next door, the pushing of daylight an hour later.
then, the temperatures start floating near hot, each night a little less crisp than before.
the birds stay out later, hoping to find the perfect mate for the next few months.
soon the mosquitos will congregate and wreak havoc on our desires to be outdoors,
but until then, i will bask in the resurrection of the sun bringing warmth and meaning after a cold and lonesome winter.

grief is a monster that swallows me up
reminds me of the words left unsaid
the pictures left unsent
the memories no longer a part of our timeline
a timeline cut short by an even more repulsive monster
that takes, and takes, and takes
and leaves behind nothing but destruction
and grief

icariancarrrion:

hungwy:

Worst part of living with animals is the night time sloppy licking cleaning noises I’m sorry but I cannot sleep . Please fhcking stop please please olease

(via justskulkingaround)

my soul died the day they took beth/rest (rare book room) off spotify

when you’re lying next to her

i bet you’re dreaming of me

playing out scenarios

of what we could be

falling in love over dinner

carefree days in the park

first dance at our wedding

holding hands in the dark

but destiny betrayed us

our planets never aligned

though i’ll always be yours

you’ll never be mine

i search “what to do when nothing is fun anymore”
and the first result says to pretend your fingers are tentacles of an octopus
still, nothing is fun anymore.

i take care of my plants and my dogs take care of me,
still, nothing is fun anymore.

turn the music way up and attempt to dance,
still, nothing is fun anymore.

hang out with my closest friends,
still, nothing is fun anymore.

talk to myself and fake laugh,
still, nothing is fun anymore.

buy some clothes,
still, nothing is fun anymore.

get high.

nothing is fun anymore.

april crept up like a stalker in the night
ghosts still hanging out on the front porch
years went by, too afraid to be happy
i think it’s time to run with the torch

burn it down, burn it down
let me go and start over
please don’t ask me to stay
you know i’m a pushover

i held my own hand into the descent
sauntering down each step of the way
i could never get rid of you
so i had to let myself decay

i fall in love with strangers at parties
local musicians playing at the bar
the guy i see at the store every week
anyone who has seen me play guitar

these feelings feel real when in the moment
but nothing compares to when i see you
those eyes i’ve looked into for ten years now
i would do anything you want me to

your name is buzzing in my sweet stained head
i want to call but i flirt with someone else instead

i’ve been drinking tequila with strangers at the bar
while breaking up with him over the phone from afar

i know i’m a coward, but i’m kind of a saint
at least i did this for you with no self-restraint

but i’ll find you walking in with someone else on your arm
what’s the point of love if you’re not breaking my heart