Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply
This is a note that if anyone trips across my Swan Skin short story being claimed by another blog with a green star icon, please don’t worry - that’s also me. I wanted to share that piece on my main blog under my ‘real’ internet name. It’s cool, don’t worry about it!
“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”
(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)
I felt compelled
Wait, fuck, does having the way you’re taught Sex Ed in middle and high school leave you so intimately aware of all the ways sex could lead to extremely bad results and killing off any desire you personally had in ever being sexually intimate with another person count as trauma? God, fuck, it does, doesn’t it? Goddamn it, how did I not notice this one, how did I make it this long going “Sex sounds great, but thanks to my teachers I’m too scared of STDs and accidental pregnancy to try it!“ and think that was in any way appropriately normal? Fucking- just when I think I’m comfortably aware of everything I have trauma over, damn it-!!!!!
I’m not even upset, I’m just pissed at this point, I knew that they probably weren’t teaching it very well at the time, I’m just annoyed that I apparently didn’t roll with it as well as I thought I did, damn it-!!!
Was looking at one of the old My Little Pony movies for the first time since I hit my thirties and also since I formally realized I have a Major Thing for non-human yet humanoid characters. Like, oh.
Oh.
No wonder I thought Scorpan was so much better as the weird, hairy, winged creature-thing than when he turned into a prince. Apparently I’ve just Always Been Into This.
Like, exhibit A:
Cool, kinda spicy, nice snoot, can fly, could hold you in his strong, fur-covered arms, big pointy ears, growly-gruff kinda voice, but can be tender, works for the bad guy but obviously doesn’t want to.
Exhibit B:
Some guy. Like, rockin’ the tiara, more guys should have the courage to, but, at the end of the day… just some guy.
…
…I would be embarrassed, but, frankly, I stand by kid-me’s taste, she knew what she was about!
Theory: Kirk’s ripped shirt in the newer movies doesn’t have small holes because it’s improperly portraying just how horribly he can destroy his uniform, it’s because he’s just at the beginning of his shirt-ripping career. From what I understand, even the beginning of TOS is set much later than the most recent of the new Trek movies, so Kirk’s still a bit new at this.
I choose to believe that, given time, this alternate version of Kirk will also eventually master how to properly rip his shirt during a mission, and will one day make it back to the bridge in a shirt of which nothing remains but the collar and one sleeve clinging to it with a sort of forlorn determination.
*kirk holding communicator, yelling more and more aggressively at scotty to beam him up*
*kirk arrives on transporter pad, red shirts are stunned*
*people wont stop looking as he walks to the bridge*
*turbolift doors open to reveal kirk wearing just his collar and right sleeve, which at this point is basically a couple threads held together by the will of god only, everything else is either shredded beyond recognition or gone entirely*
*mccoy summons a cigarette and a bottle of alcohol, spock refuses to look*
XD I love it!
girl you look like you drop common loot when defeated
boy you don’t even drop gold when defeated, you got no room to talk
Rich is being able to go get a personal pan pizza at Pizza Hut because it’s just the right size and you like the pizza, and then being able to casually leave your server a $20 tip just because they brought you your pizza and you appreciated it.
It’s kind of amusing to hear all this talk about humans being an apex predator species - I mean, I love it, but technically, by our own standards of rating predators, we aren’t, because we still have animals around on Earth that will munch us down if push comes to shove. We’re not like bears or wolves or any of the really big members of the big cat family - yes, we can and do hunt, but as often as not we foraged.
Heck, we still do that in many ways, even in the urban environments we have made for ourselves. We are the species that will stare you in the eye as we steal the food off your plate, then add insult to injury by checking to make sure it’s clean enough, get everywhere we’re not supposed to because we are cunning little buggers that are hard to keep out, will hoard shiny things even though we know they aren’t useful because they are shiny, okay, and then we’ll go and do something adorable so that you love us anyway, at least until you notice that we’ve just scuttled off with half your wiring because we needed it for something important.
Humans aren’t the wolves or tigers or bears of the universe.
We’re the raccoons.
So what you’re saying instead of spaces orcs, we’re space goblins?
Yes.
Tired of guys who think they’re funny coming up to me and asking “Oh, are you Zelda?” when I’m cosplaying Link just because I’m a girl. Next time this happens I’m telling them, “Actually, Zelda’s the antagonist of the game - I’m the protagonist, Ganondorf.” Then I’ll get to sit back and watch them try to dig themselves out of that hole. -U-
I remember a while ago someone was interested in the pirate version of the Shia LaBeouf song that I mentioned so I finally got my shit together and took a video of it. It’s pretty brilliant.
There was no way I was not going to share this piratical version of That song. You know of what I speak.
I thought you might have been kidding. oh my god.
“That’s the real ending, you can clap.”
I posted this two years ago and it just got reblogged holy shit how is this still going around?
I- fuck the song, that’s my Faire!!! That’s the Ball and Chain Stage, those are the Rakish Rogues, I was on cast there in 2019, wtf?!?!?!???
How strange to feel nostalgic and homesick for a world that was dying even as I left it twenty-two years ago. How unspeakably odd to know that something stands there still, but the place I remember is gone forever.
(takes a deep breath)
(screams in Mystery Skulls Animated)