not to be Like That but i find it highly fucking disturbing that people reject the idea of individual men suffering under current societal norms when the male-female suicide ratio is somewhere around 4:1 in Europe and the US - almost 7:1 in some countries. also cant scrub my mind of that post that went around showing how men typically choose more violent methods for ending their lives, and the response was largely "so they care less about the trauma to whoever finds them, typical 🙄" get a fucking grip. show some goddamn compassion.
More violent methods and thus they succeed far more, vs women who generally use less violent methods and are more likely to be caught and stopped. Also because men aren’t allowed to have feelings outside of “sports good” “angry” and “horny”, a lot of men don’t cry for help and most of the people around them report having no idea that they were even considering doing it until well after the fact. because they are significantly less likely to cry for help or to seek therapy.
More than one man I’ve dated has been real cagey about telling me he takes medicine to combat mental illness and when I finally do learn about it, all of them have told me that they’ve had people end relationships immediately upon hearing it and that’s why they didn’t want to tell me. Like. Think about it. You take meds to treat your depression so you don’t want to kill yourself, you get into a relationship with someone and are finally happy and comfortable to the point you’re ok being vulnerable, and that person drops you like a rock the second you reveal that sometimes your brain sabotages you. And we’re then surprised at just how awful the suicide statistics are and how resistant men can be to the idea of seeking help and opening up in the first place??? AND add to it that these are gay men, men who already feel rejected and isolated from society due to their attraction to other men and they think they’ve finally found someone who understands them and then fucking. That happens.
And then the lack of compassion when it’s brought up is just horrific. I think you’re right. Disturbing. “They don’t care about causing others trauma when they’re found” “your girlfriend’s not your therapist” “just go to therapy like the rest of us” “have they considered touching grass” BRO these people are IN PAIN they are HURTING they are DYING and you’re just gunna turn your back to them because you’ve decided they’re doing it in a way you don’t like. How awful. How cruel. Like you’re any different from anyone else who tells them “sack up and stop being a pussy about it” when they try to name their pain.
A persistent, serious problem I've encountered among men I'm close to - good guys, often genuinely doing hard work to be partners and everything we want men to be - is the idea that they don't have it bad enough to seek help anyway. After all: they're cis guys. Everything's easy for them.
Hilariously I get this one from the inside, although my reason for thinking it was economic, rather than gender-based. But I know exactly how much it inhibits.
You're lying there at night, you can't sleep, fantasizing about how you could possibly set up your death so that you could finally do some good for once, or maybe at least set it up to be an accident that nobody would question, but you couldn't be depressed or deserve help, because people like you don't.
People like you are spoiled and whiny and just want everyone to pay attention to you; people like you are the problem, thinking you'd have reason to need therapy or medicine, and if you seek them you're just proving how useless and worthless you are.
It's bullshit, and it kills people, and it's ground in very, very deep. Let me reiterate: this kills people. People dying from something is pretty much the fucking definition of it being a serious problem, right? Except when it's this, it always seems like.
This is something I'm bitter about.
(For the record anyone reading this: if you have genuinely spent time wishing you were dead, thinking about how you'd like to die, etc - if this has been a SERIOUS thought you had rather than a brief "omg auuugh", if you have lain awake thinking how everything would be fixed if you could just stop existing, then a) you are mentally ill, which means you are ill, and b) it is already bad enough to be dangerous, so c) go to what mental health screening is available where you are and tell them you need to be screened for depression, because you're having suicidal imagery and wishes.
Yes even if everything in your life is fine. Yes even if you are a guy with zero oppressions and a good job and a loving family. Go; stop arguing, stop framing this as "but do I really deserve it", and go. This is a disease; it will fuck you up and ruin you just like cancer, and this is the biggest unarguable symptom. Go.)
10000 years ago we were cats purring next to each other in a patch of sunlight. you dont remember but its fine
give them a couple of fake passports, a gun and some copper wire and they will topple entire nations
The Passenger (2023)
i was at a little park fest thing today and someone was there with their cats who were trained to hang out in a stroller?? like they were SO chill it was amazing. the cats were obviously enjoying themselves and were very well trained to stay right in or under their catmobile.
until, that is, i rolled up in my wheelchair and one of them turned and saw my vaguely stroller-like contraption and *immediately* jumped out of his cat-approved-stroller to climb around on my chair like OH WOW WHEN DID WE GET ANOTHER WHEELEY THING YAY! :D
i was like sir you are not supposed to be here and he just looked up at me like oh yes i am ! i must stay in wheeled contraption !!! and he was wearing a lil bowtie so i could not argue with him
[id: the Is This a Bird meme edited so that a stock photo of a gray tabby cat with a bowtie is the one gesturing at the It's Free Real Estate meme that has a disability symbol of a person in a wheelchair edited on to it. end id]
[id: #it's free...wheel estate /end id] (via @youdontoutgrowpunk-sir )
stop being funnier than me on my own post!!
video store
do people not understand that the point of legalizing sex work is regulating sex work. so that sex workers can like, be legally protected if they experience violence and such violence can be prevented by putting legal guard rails in place. instead of our current system that leaves sex workers with no recourse or protection
i’m trying to have a yaoi moment with you. man to man i’m trying to have a yaoi moment with you right now
"everytime you find yourself here, it's because you chose to come back."
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finally treat myself with a fanart‼️ i am excited for s3, crossfinger hard it concluded w best outcome it could be 🤲🙏
Shocking revelations
BONUS:
this got so many notes but no one's reblogging it with my very important addition
looked at my fabric remnants. sewed a jayvik dice bag. ignore jaws.
Those seemingly endless waits in hospitals….
(I saw a picture of Chris Evans with a kid, and all I could see was Corazon and Law….)
Loves me like a dog - Masterpost
pairing: Benson/Randy Bradley
rating: E
word count: 146,840
major tags: canon divergence, Benson lives, roadtrip, slow burn, canon-typical behaviour & violence, first kiss, first time, eventual romance
They don't make it to Miss Beard's place. Mr Sheppard lies in a pool of his own blood and Benson & Randy drive on, and on, and on, and on, and on.
(artworks created as commission by @dad-dumpster, please check out his stuff!)
chapter 1 - they don't even make it to Randy's teacher's house, summer bummer (artwork again by dad_dumpster)
chapter 2 - their first stop at a motel, Benson's eyes brighten/dim
chapter 3 - Randy's first cigarette, prayer helps
chapter 4 - what kind of man doesn't know how to swim?
chapter 5 - no need to drive me crazy, i'm close enough to walk!
chapter 6 - another cigarette and one very dead bird
chapter 7 - nobody puts baby in the corner (of a bar)
chapter 8 - stigmata is so last year, Randy concurs
chapter 9 - 'it's okay, you can fuck me'
chapter 10 - until he decides he wants to stop driving
chapter 11 - the old switcheroo
chapter 12 - Randy can't go with him, that's just fact
chapter 13 - letting a murderer shave your face
chapter 14 - on sunday, we go to church
chapter 15 - Benson loves Randy like a dog. (artwork AGAIN by dad_dumpster, & personally my fav iteration of it!!)