I'll find a blog title at some point. Maybe.

Switching between these every day

thinking about that toni morrison quote that went to the effect of ‘you’re looking in your children’s face to make sure their face is clean and their hair is combed and they’re looking in your face to see love.’ because it’s saur true.

To find the truth, you must walk willingly into the unknown, even when it stares back, red-lit & whispering. Each step unravels the edges of what you thought was real, until only echoes remain, echoes that wear your voice, but speak of things you've never said. The walls breathe when you're not looking. Time folds like paper in trembling hands. & somewhere beneath the static hum, a version of you is waiting, eyes closed, lips moving, reciting the ending before the story even begins. You reach for the door, but it opens inward, into a room you swear you’ve never seen, yet everything inside is exactly where you left it.

You are not lost. You are remembered. & remembering, here, is the most dangerous thing of all. Because the more you remember, the less of you remains. You become the story told in reverse, a flicker in someone else’s dream, a shadow cast by a light that hasn't been lit yet.

& just before the final truth reaches your lips, you wake, only to find you're still inside. Still walking. Still remembering.

The red light never turns off.

what they don't tell you about making friends is you gotta be a lil annoying. you gotta push past the fear of "what if they don't want to talk to me" and simply ask someone how their day is going, send a meme. you cannot connect to people if you're both just awkwardly waiting for the other to start.

fuck it

had to eliminate some more specific ones for space, shout out to “intelligent alien species have not developed advanced technologies”

City at Night with Full Moon - Tim Gardner , 2018

Canadian,  b 1973 -

Watercolour on paper , 40.6 x 30.5 cm.   16 x 12 in.

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

Hey kid, look at me.

I want you to T-pose. Turn your right thumb up and your left thumb doen and look at your right thumb. Move your arms up and down a bit until you feel a nerve running from your armpit to your palm. Now turn your right thumb down and your left thumb up, and look at your left thumb. Keep your chest facing forward and your shoulders back. Move your arms again until you feel that nerve again. Keep alternating between these two for a minute, or look at each thumb thirty times each.

Now sit down. Put your left hand firmly under your left buttock, palm down. Keep your shoulders back and put your right hand over the crown of your head, very gently pulling it to the right. Do this for thirty seconds, then do it again but with your right hand under your right buttock.

These are stretches for the nerves in your arms, and are very good for people who sit behind a computer a lot, or fibre artists, or you name it. Do them daily. They will hurt in the beginning, but keep doing them, even after the pain has gone, or it will return and you'll have to start all over.

Hey, I know another type of stretch for this!

I had to go to occupational therapy a while back due to pain in my ulnar nerve (same nerve that acts as your 'funny bone'). It was getting compressed from jamming my elbow against hard plastic armrests that were in a too-tall fixed position on my cheap old office chair. I was having burning and tingling pain and numbness radiating from my elbow into my ring and pinky fingers. It sucked. Honestly, I found it worse than carpal tunnel, because a rigid elbow brace makes life way harder than a rigid wrist brace.

Anyways, the main exercise that my occupational therapist had me do was called a nerve glide. The stretches OP describes help improve flexibility, but the nerve gliding exercise helps move the nerve out of the pinched spot so it can move more freely.

Here's the best diagram I can find of it:

It's a little confusing, so have some extra description on the weird parts:

Ulnar nerve compression (aka cubital tunnel) is apparently super common, but I had never heard of it before I started having issues. If you lean forwards on your desk or armrests a lot, I'd suggest giving these a try. It feels kind of weird because you can feel the nerve, but it shouldn't hurt at all.

Wandering but not lost.

I crave immortality more than anything. It would fix all of my problems. Whatever pain I have would be truly and utterly temporary. There isn't much I wouldn't give up to live forever.

When you're anything like me, you'll find it really weird how most media, good or bad, takes an anti-immortality stance. Immortals are almost always villains. Immortality is portrayed as something that strips you of your identity, turns you into a monster, or more often than not, reveals the "monster you've always been within" or something cruel like that. The means of achieving immortality is always sacrificing yourself or someone else.

To me this stance reveals something deeply disturbing about the author's feelings about existence in general. It reads to me like "Existence itself is a curse, wanting more of it is wrong."

A few months ago I made a post where I basically asked the question, what's so bad about making everyone live 1000 years? It's not like anyone is forcing you to live that long, giving everyone ten times the potential lifespan can only be a good thing. And a really common answer I got was like "I don't even want to live the remaining 60-50 years I already have, 1000 is way too much" and like.. that's so sad.

That also leads me to another thought that like, we treat wanting to die as a mental illness and a sign of depression for 70 years of a person's life and then at some point we all just decide that actually, it's fine for a person of this age to talk about their death and funeral, about how they're tired of living and such.. That's deeply fucked up to me. It's unfair.

If I could live forever I would, and I hate the thought of aging and dying eventually.

It wouldn't literally fix all of my problems, by that I mean it would make all of my problems insignificant.

A moment in time will be as significant as I decide it to be. No more "wasted time". I will still suffer and experience joy, I will still feel all the feelings except one: anxiety.

Fall in love and love them dearly until they pass. Mourn them for half a century before I fall in love again. Try every meal of every famous chef and then in forty years try the food their kids made. Watch things change, get invented and reinvented, watch empires and countries rise and fall. Take part in some historical events and then read about myself in a hundred years. Try being every gender for 50 years. Become famous then infamous then retreat to obscurity. Discover and rediscover myself, change with the world and find myself unrecognisable but definitely still myself. Become the most interesting person in any conversation.

I want to experience boredom like nobody else before. People say immortality will eventually be boring, but they never follow up with what comes after boredom. Boredom is where the best ideas are born, the best ambitions, the greatest experiences. Boredom is there to drive action. It's fucking great, I recommend you get bored as much as you can.

"Oh but wouldn't you be sad-" yes I would be sad to see my friends and loved ones and their kids pass away guess what dipshit it happens to normal lifespan people all the time and they all move on or die from old age. Yes there will be suffering but there will also be happiness, there will be everything, forever, again and again, immortality is fucking great and dying fucking sucks and it will suck no matter how long I live.

If I REALLY stretch it I could find a problem of like. What if humanity goes extinct. What if I live long enough to see all life go extinct. To which I say two things:

1. Y'all acting like I would let this happen

2. Do you see how much effort you need to convince me to have an opt-out option for my immortal life? I agree I can be persuaded to die if I know for sure nothing will ever happen that would be worth seeing.

I think "we live forever and we love to live" from this tweet was the seed planted to eventually turn me around on this idea.

"Centuries of life have worn away at my soul" skill issue. The subway rats taught me that you should be living with enthusiasm.

to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel

theres too many princesses and maids and knights and whatever. can some of you develop a thatching fetish or something my roof is collapsing