Tiene dificultades para dar comentarios efectivos en la configuración de asistencia entre pares. ¿En qué habilidades clave deberías centrarte?

Using the term "effective" feedback gives the impression that I'm giving advice and expecting someone to follow that advice, which is exactly NOT what peer support principles are. I sometimes struggle to find strengths, but I can always ask open ended questions and share relevant parts of my story, but most often it's about listening, reflecting and letting folks know they are heard, seen and not alone.

In my experience active listening involves asking the peer to share more details when certain topics seem to trigger them; it's the non-verbal cues; dropping the head, fidgeting, or verbal cues like laughing to cover emotions. I give the peer a safe space in conversation to dive deeper into the events or experiences that have had a an emotional impact on their lives. The end game here is for the peer to address things that might be a barrier for them.

To best answer this, we need more context. Before knowing what skill to focus, on I need to understand why my feedback is not effective. 🤨 To do this, I need to gain perspective. How am I showing up? How is my peer showing up? If I’m being triggered in some way, I need to find ways to better support myself. 💛 If my peer is feeling activated or shut down, I want to know how we can support them so they feel seen and heard. 🙂 Working relationally with my peer will help us find a the best way forward for both of us. ➡️

What I am missing on that list is awareness and management of own emotions. Often the key block to offering effective and powerful feedback is the fear of the reaction. Only by acknowledging our own vulerability in this moment and supporting ourselves to show up authentically and assertively can we set ourselves up for a constructive and helpful conversation.

Lived experience comes to mind when I think of empathy display. Finding a common ground with a peer by sharing relevant personal experiences creates an avenue for me to express genuine empathy. Once the peer feels validated the true work begins based on trust.

Timing is critical for feedback; too early the peer could shut down; too late; the peer may brush the feedback off completely. In my experience, when the peer openly asks for feedback--that's the right time. The moment when the peer is seeking guidance; that's the perfect time to share feedback.

Consider asking peer's perspectives as well rather than just communicating the feedback you think you have to give-it's a way to create more buy-in and build a constructive, two-way conversation which opens multiple avenues for coaching-based relationship, and lead to more sustainable growth in the end.