if UR narcissistic……. and IM narcissistic……
then whos using the empathy ???
actuallynarcissistic actuallynpd npd npd things actually npd
serial-unaliver-deactivated2024
đđđđđ
Wait why doesn't the narcissist have eyebrows
How do you think the dark empathy got in
At the risk of starting an angry mob, I’m still gonna start this whole discussion.
It’s important to also be critically aware that most Celebrities that we stan, especially the really big ones, are not who we think they are. Their entire persona, their likes and dislikes, their expressed political views and lack thereof, interviews, all of that is carefully crafted by a team: a marketing staff, a PR staff, managers and agents. A lot of times their social media accounts are managed by PR people as well.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that you don’t stan the genuine real person, you stan a carefully crafted version of that person and the key point is, that version can be*** wildly different from the actual human being. I’m also not saying this to say unstan all your favs or whatever, but just a reminder that they are people doing a job…
Eh, im on the fence for this bc on one hand i DO think that we should not 100% jump to call any celeb a “woke icon” just bc they said something politically right when their movie/album is suspiciously close to being released, but also i think that implying that celebs, many of whom might be belonging to marginalized communities themselves and using their platforms to speak out against the marginalization and oppression they and others like them face ; are JUST like corporations who arent even HUMAN and say “woke” things solely to get attention in the market is doing disservice to those celebs and brushing off their experiences.
Like, implying that female celebs speaking out against the misogyny, harassment, body shaming etc they face as women, Celebs of color calling out racism in this world or lgbtqa celebs pointing out homophobia etc in this world are just “” people doing a job" “ and are on the same level as brands on social media is dehumanizing towards those celebs and implies that celebs are less human than non celeb humans and cant haveinterests and politics of their own.
Hope you understand! Im Just trying to understand where you might be coming from!
I think youâre greatly misunderstanding my post.
First of all, I never made a comparison between celebrities and corporations. Me saying that theyâre being managed doesnât mean Iâm saying theyâre just like a corporation.
Also, Iâm not saying all of the beliefs espoused by celebs on social media is not what they actually believe in or important or the use of their platform isnât important, Iâm saying that most likely, they arenât the ones directly behind the posts? Whether the posts reflects their views or not. There are usually teams they either consult or their agents and managers consult for them or simply manage them. This is a known fact, https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theverge.com/platform/amp/2014/9/8/6121985/celebrity-twitter-adam-levine
Also, Iâm not trying to dehumanize celebrities, they are inherently human. Iâm saying that the public figure we know to be true, is not entirely a reflection of themselves, and the degree of this is dependent on the person.
When I say theyâre just doing a job, I mean exactly that. They might care about their fans or their message etc. but at the end of the day, they donât make all the decisions, they arenât in full control, itâs their job and theyâre literally doing it.
"Hello, my name is [name]. I live in [city, state], zip code [#####]. I'm calling because I want Representative [name] to vote NO on H.R.22, The SAVE Act, which would disenfranchise millions of voters. It is a threat to our Democracy."
Capital Switchboard: 202-224-3121
Read more about The SAVE Act HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE
The House is scheduled to vote on this bill during the week of April 7th. Call to make sure they know how you expect them to act.
Tumblr isn’t social media, it’s combat media. Y’all hoes always fighting bout something smh
“Why’s she so rude?” (She’s Not)- Stereotypes, pt2
So I'm sure that you all thought I was going to give a blow-by-blow list of "visual stereotypes to avoid". I'm going to be honest here, I thought about it, and figured it would be redundant. My page already includes sensitivity on depicting Black people. So instead, I'm going to focus on stereotypical "character" concepts, so that you can 1) not write it in your stories and/or 2) recognize it in media (fiction and reality!) and in life!
Two major resources: the Jim Crow Museum website is an EXCELLENT resource to understand the imagery of antiblack racism in U.S. history and society. The other, White Tears, Brown Scars by Ruby Hamad. The book focuses on the many racist stereotypes projected onto women of color and how that purposeful, systemic negative perception of us bleeds into every aspect of our lives- specifically by white women/white feminists who believe that they are not contributing to said oppression.
I'll start with Black women, just because I’m passionate about it (obviously) and there are so many things I wish I had and hadn’t seen growing up. We deserve better by the year of our lord 2024.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: mention of sexual assault, assault
Misogynoir
What I want everyone to understand, before I get into this, is the concept of intersectionality, and more specifically, misogynoir. Misogynoir is the specific type of contempt and prejudice that Black women face at the intersection of race and gender. I say this because you might read these things and go “oh, as a woman, I experience these things!” I get it, but I want you to PAUSE, and remember, that right now, we are talking about Black women’s experiences. And those will often be different, due to that intersection of identities. And that understanding will have an effect on how you understand (and thus, write) those experiences.
The Jezebel
The link goes into much deeper detail, but the Jezebel is the idea that a Black woman or girl who is sexual is somehow “fast”, “salacious”, “a hoe”, “driven by desire/doesn’t understand purity”, and at its worst, unable to be r*ped/a victim because she is less valuable yet somehow inherently seductive to men.
This gets thrown around CONSTANTLY in media and life for Black women (my first experience of treated like I was ‘fast’ was when I was like… twelve?) One major, visible example is Megan Thee Stallion. Meg has a college degree, she likes anime, she’s a brilliant rapper, and has an entire personality and struggles she’s shared… But she also likes to dress scantily clad and have sex. By doing those things, she ‘lessened in value’. And because of this, when she was shot at and assaulted, even Black people questioned her character, rather than understanding that she could have been anyone, and she still wouldn’t have deserved to be assaulted. She's not allowed to be multi-faceted; she "brought it on herself".
Black girls and women who happen to take charge of their own sexuality, to the discomfort of society, are treated as Jezebels- as whores. Think about it- if one of Taylor Swift's recent boyfriends shot at her, would the media question her value or her word? Question her equivalently high ‘body count’?
Question how you write your Black woman- she can enjoy sex! She can be sexy! We love to see it! But if you're punishing her specifically, or judging her within the narrative, versus your other characters who are allowed to safely explore and act upon their sexuality… Check your judgment! Why do you feel the way you do about this character? Why do you think that your Black character is the one that should be judged for her actions. Would you feel this way if it were a nonblack character?
The Sapphire/Angry Black Woman
Ohohoho, I have infinite amounts of feelings about this one.
This is the "sassy Black friend", the "aggressive Black boss", “step on me angry mommy”, the one who does the z formation and makes everyone "uncomfortable". She’s not allowed to be confident, assertive, or self-assured- she’s arrogant, rude, and aggressive.
I discussed it in part one, but I'll reemphasize it: your Black woman doesn't have to be an ‘Angry Black Woman’ in order to be angry! Just like any other human being on the planet, we are allowed to be mad. (In my honest opinion, we have a lot to be mad about, but I digress 😅)
If the only character that ever gets angry is your Black character, I want you to consider why. What is she angry at? Was this something you wanted the reader to understand or empathize with? Are we supposed to disagree? How does everyone around her treat her anger? Is her anger righteous? Is she always shut down or dismissed for it? Is it only meant to defend her friends, but never herself? Does the narrative suggest that it’s only good in use of others and not herself? Would this be the same reaction if one of the nonblack characters was angry? Is this something you did on purpose?
Very often, we're called 'angry Black women/girls' to invalidate our emotions. My therapist once said anger is a protective emotion. We might be hurt, overstimulated, sad, depressed, frightened, anxious… But we are often not allowed the grace of others digging deeper to see that. Even if the other characters do not understand her anger, even if her motives are not meant to be understood at the moment… you as the writer should be aware. But if every time it’s time to show anger or upset, it’s your Black character… consider why this is the one you thought would best convey that message, and how your Black readers might feel seeing that this character (who may not even be the ‘bad guy’) is the one that is ‘only’ angry. No other development, no other emotions, just… there to be mad.
I take this one to heart, as someone who feels very passionately about things… this is one of those things where I wish, in life and in media, people would have more grace for Black women. We're human, too. We have feelings, too.
The Mammy
This one isn’t as visually blatant anymore in media as it was in the past (like every Mammy doesnt look like Aunt Jemima), but you may have seen this one as "the mommy figure". The "lesbian that parents the silly gay boys". The one that’s always encouraging the ship of the white boys, but never the one allowed to be in the ship (especially when her ship is canon!)
A good example of this was how people expected Jessica Drew from ATSV to be "more loving" to Gwen, rather than the mentor and boss she was (plus, as a Black woman with a Black mother… trust and believe, she was quite direct and gentle). And in comparison to her counterpart, white man Peter B. Parker, was decried far worse for similar detrimental actions.
The Mammy often serves in opposition to the Jezebel and Sapphire/Angry Black Woman. What makes the Mammy particularly annoying is that it implies that the only good Black woman character is a ‘nice’, demure, unthreatening, homely, motherly figure whose job it is to make sure to center the (usually) white ones. The Mammy is expected to coddle everyone, to her own detriment. She's a ‘good Black’ because she causes no issue, raises no fuss, never shows a negative feeling, knows that she has to ‘be strong’ but to always defer because the white characters know best. She’s ‘not a threat’, and that’s why she’s ‘allowed’ to be around. We shouldn’t have to be those things in order for our stories to be heard and understood, in order to be empathized with or treated like someone of value.
The Strong Black Woman
If I never hear this phrase again in my life, if we eradicate it from future generations for Black girls and women, I'll cry of joy lmao. I hate it, and it's not for the reasons most nonblack people would expect. Lord, this one. Anyway. The ‘strong Black woman’ is meant to protect everyone, no help needed! Whenever something is wrong and we all need a pickup, here she comes to ‘let me do it’ and everything is going to be okay! She did all the necessary suffering so that your characters don't have to! She can sweep in and save the day!
Now here's the dissonance kicks in. This one on its surface probably sounds like a good thing. She's a hero! She’s resilient! She's great! Who wouldn't want to be superwoman? Who wouldn't want to reject being a love interest, all women are always love interests! Let us be the badass that kicks ass and shows the men what for! Who wouldn’t want that, 24/7?!
The answer: US. 👍🏾🤣
This is a long, separate conversation on its own, but we have to understand that Black women (women of color, really) and White women do not always share the same end goals and understanding of "strong woman character" or even feminism. We certainly aren't always the love interest. Very usually not, in fact. We are always pushed to the side. We are already the hero in our lives, we're already the "strong woman".
Not everyone yearns to be the Singular Hero who will Fix It All as many of us are already expected to do. It's exhausting having to swallow your own needs for everyone else all the time, especially when it's suggested that you have no value otherwise if you don't. Heroism is Exhausting, and it's something worth looking into when you’re characterizing your Black girls and women. I’m not saying that we can’t be strong! We are, and it’s impressive! But I also want us to add some nuance to that strength, the way we would for any other character. What it means to have community, rather than to do it all alone. How even if she wants to be the hero (and that’s okay! That’s fine!) how it would still wear on her. Surrounding your Black girl character with unconditional support, to have a lover that actually wants to pull some weight- that's something many of us actually would like to see, because we're usually shafted to the side as 'someone who can do it all herself' (in order to hide that no one thinks we need or are deserving of the help).
It's okay to let your Black woman and girls show weakness, to rest, to be taken care of! It's not "less feminist" to accept that we're humans that need help and can't carry it all, too. That it’s okay to want to feel valued and protected. Because god knows, I wish I didn’t grow up strong and resilient, I wish I grew up knowing that the world cared that I was safe.
Standards of Beauty
These standards are not the same! I've mentioned it before in my lesson on skin tones, but very often when we think of "beauty", it’s easy to fall into the idea of whiteness. Pale skin, thin hair textures, etc. If those are our existing standards of beauty, then it doesn’t matter what any of us look like- we’re ugly! When I was in high school, I remember a classmate saying that Swedish people were the most beautiful people because of "white hair and pale skin". Without even meaning to, that guy basically said everyone darker than a stack of loose leaf printer paper was ugly by proxy of not being Nordic White (no matter how pretty they actually might be!!) 🤣
It’s also of note that whiteness/paleness tends to be connected with innocence and cleanliness in western culture, while blackness/darkness tends to be considered dirty, sinful, fearful. Now, while the origin of this idea may not be racist itself, when you spend hundreds of years implying that Blackness is bad- to the point that, in the U.S. they came up with an entire slur one step past “negro” (meaning ‘Black’) to deem you less than- it’s hard to say that the societal connotation didn’t apply.
Now we've already discussed working on describing our Black characters better! I continually remind you all that you should be describing them as wonderfully made as you do your white characters. Keep in mind that we live in a world where from day one when we enter the world, Blackness and Black features are not seen as beautiful nor emphasized. Whiteness is the standard of beauty that we, for a long time and still, are expected to adhere to. If you'd like to do better by your characters, remember that you don't have to give them "white features" or use "white" as an adjective to do that!
Black Women as Women
“There was literally nothing, not a thing, that a white woman could ever have that was worth more than her sexual virtue, and this obligated mandatory chasteness and sexual vulnerability… If the most important thing a woman has is virtue, and only white women can have virtue, then by definition, only white women can be women.” Ruby Hamad, ‘Only White Women Can Be Damsels’, White Tears, Brown Scars
Often, Black women by definition are not included under the societal banner of “women”, from our features, to our personalities, to our 'role' in life. "True Womanhood" is denied us, cis and trans, because of our Blackness. The things that make women ‘women’, we are not included under, because systemically, the only ‘women’ that were meant to mean anything were white.
I bring up Megan Thee Stallion again. Meg is probably one of the most beautiful, feminine women I've ever seen in my life. Men still call her a man, due to her height, due to her confidence, and due to their insecurities. Same with Serena Williams; Serena is damn near built like a god in my eyes. She was told she was manly from the beginning of her career, no matter how beyond skilled she was in women's tennis. Even when she damn near died giving birth- the most basic of 'tasks' women are seen as having in this society, it didn't matter. Black women are 'less womanly', 'less valuable', 'less in need' of that protection and identity that society swears Women™ need (and not in the honest way that we do need protection).
Consider that you're making sure that your Black women have the options of range of gender expression and emotions (and if they aren't allowed to, is that on purpose). If you're only ever creating us and we're in service of some dainty white woman and never the other way around... consider how that may reflect what you think our role is in your story, and in your mind.
Adultification
“Awkward moment when Rue is some black girl and not the innocent blond girl you imagine.” twitter: sw4q
It has been shown that Black girls the same age as their white girl counterparts are deemed older and less in need of protection, and supposed to 'be more mature'. Imagine that. Deemed inherently less innocent, due to your skin color. Having to parent our siblings, get jobs to contribute, do all the cleaning, and more. Yet, when we act with the maturity that we've been forced to grow into, we're "fast". A little 12-year-old girl, now to society, the Jezebel. All because she wanted to try pink lip gloss or wear a skirt; things that little tween girls might try to understand the big world around them and push boundaries. Now she's a woman, now she can never be a victim. Now she can be beat on and hurt and it's her fault.
I explain this for two reasons: One, for you to think about how your write your Black girls, and Two, for you to hold more grace for Black girls- real and fake. Do you hold her to a higher standard than your white characters of similar age? Does she inherently seem less innocent to you for reasons outside the plot? Is she as human to you as your other characters? Is she allowed to be a child? To act like one? To make mistakes? Are you as empathetic or understanding about that childishness as you are towards nonblack characters? Do you make these decisions on purpose?
It's not like Black girls can never be YA protags or anything- ofc we can. But keep in mind that she's not somehow automatically "stronger" by proxy of her Blackness, that she'd "be tougher". She's a kid. Let her be one.
Conclusion
There’s a LOT you have to consider when writing Black girls and women. I’m not going to sit here and say it’s easy, because being Black, and being a Black woman, is not easy. If you’re stressed reading it, imagine being stressed living it lmao. It’s a constant chain of quick-time events every day of your life to prevent nonblack nuclear meltdown in response to your every single action. I’m not going to apologize for it, either.
That being said, I don’t expect you to understand everything, especially not all at once. I just want you all to keep these things in mind, to question yourself when you’re writing your character- are you treating her differently on purpose? Or are you treating her differently because of a bias you might not even notice you have? It might help to go back, to read how you treat all of your characters. Or, if you’ve never written before, to maybe outline the traits of your characters and figure out where things balance out. As always, all you can do is practice at it. Because it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers.
Whew, I'm actually emotionally strained after this one. My chest is beating fast. Let me go get some groceries now.
Black feminism, as well, as womanism, cannot stand without accurate citations. I'm not being argumentative, a lot of it has to do with the sources you used. But as Patricia Hill Collins wrote: "
"I also know that, lacking a collective voice, individual voices like mine will become fainter until, one day, many may forget that we ever spoke at all."
from Fighting Words by Patricia Hill Collins
Misogynoir was created by a queer scholar Moya Bailey circa 2012, who developed its scope and use alongside Trudy. Misogynoir was coined as term that was to merge and read antiblackness and misogyny, but that was also a way to read the experiences of Black women in digital spaces. Below is Moya Bailey's first book.
Mammy derives from the real life figure of the in house servant, oftentimes living with the white family that has become over the years imaged as this generously Black object of abundant flesh, the signifier of her endless nurturing and her willful servitude. Here are quotes that discuss the Mammy:
As domestics in white households, black women were the bodies at the core of the private sphere, both invisible and essential to ideas of proper white womanhood. Assigned to perform the functions of the female body (disavowed by the angels of the home) meant that they carried the sweat and labor of constructing the domestic stage.
from Babylon Girls by Jayna Brown
The usually nameless black mammy figure, in these-black and-white-pairings, served a very specific function: since"small children would not sit still for the long exposures required by early photography", she held the child steady, and therefore, guaranteed the success of the portrait.
from Embodied Avatars by Uri McMilan
Jezebel and the mammy have been theorized, alongside the welfare mother, by Patricia Hill Collins, from her seminal book Black feminist thought, as controlling images, that is as the tropes that crush Black women out of their humanity and work to establish their inferiority. Patricia Hill Collins cites Jezebel as originating during slavery: "The fourth controlling image-the Jezebel, whore, or sexually agressive is central in this nexus of elite white male images of Black womanhood because efforts to control Black women's sexuality lie at the heart of Black women's oppression.
âThe Same Place as the Musicâ Lighting & Color
âWhere is the light coming from?â âThe same place as the music.â Andrew Lesnie, Cinematographer of LOTR
How & Why It's A Problem
If I had to summarize the frustration I have with this topic in one image, I'd use JeCorey Holder's (queer Black creative!) meme:
ALTNow here's the thing. I'm not saying you have to be a master at lighting. I'm surely not. Hell, I still play around with lighting in my art in ways that arenât the âmost realisticâ. You canât ask me the technical explanations behind âcolor theoryâ or 'contrast' without me doing some more reading. However⊠I donât think anyone needs an art degree to understand this point:
We should be able to SEE your brown skinned Black characters!
I brought this up in my lessons about skin tones and blushing, and it applies with lighting as well. If all of your other characters have focused light and shadows, so should your Black characters.
However, this does NOT mean making them lighter-skinned!!!!
It's not funny nor logical at all to suggest that they somehow can't be seen like your other characters when youâre the one creating the piece. It's like a classic fifth-grade racist joke, âYou blend in at nightâ. Har-de-har.
I was once rudely told to my face (well in the DMs) that a Black character that was completely Europeanized looked like that âbecause of the [sepia] lightingâ. So I'm going to give you all, gracious readers, an example to show that that's not true.
ALTThis is Ana FlĂĄvia, Afro-Brazilian model! Gaze upon her beauty! Notice how in both of these filters, Ana did not, in fact, turn into a white woman! Because, my friends, that is not how that works! At all!
Here are some other examples of Black people in non-color lighting:
ALTNone of these people vanished from the frame just because there was no color. They didn't have to paint on lighter makeup to be captured by the camera. What do they all have in common (in this example)?
Lighting!
Now letâs discuss different ways to think about and potentially try instead!
What I want you all to keep in mind, is that the art youâre painting:
ALTAnd I know that's silly right, like yeah no shit Ice, we knew that. BUT my point here is donât be afraid to study photography, theatre, and staging for ideas. They actively work with light! Itâs why I share so many images of models; itâs purposeful, focused staging of light with many of these compositions!
Brown-skinned Black people- brown-skinned people in general- GLOW in the light! Our skin reflects environmental light! Thereâs so much opportunity to play with that, and you can see different examples in those mediums.
Here are a couple articles of lighting in film focused on Black actors.
When lighting a person with dark complexion, the answer is not LIGHTENING THE SKIN, itâs understanding how light reflects off of dark skin.â -Nilah Magruder
Nilah Magruder (Black creator!) has an ENTIRE, thorough and wonderful essay on the topic, far better than I could give! She incorporates the use of cameras, lighting, painting, and more- so rather than be redundant here, I'm going to spotlight (ha see what I did there. It's okay, I know I'm funny) her and her explanation.
Incorporating Blackness in Color/Colorful Lighting
@dsm7 has an excellent and short visual explanation of how picking certain colors will lead to washing out or whitewashing Black characters, and how certain lighting and backgrounds (think the black and white photos on brighter backgrounds) will change the way their skin tone looks.
@nicosbighead has one of my favorite images on here, that shows how many different colors can still be used to convey the image of Blackness. Notice how all those pinks still worked?
@gaksdesigns has a beautiful picture here that I feel utilizes the light in a very minimal yet effective way to show highlights even on a palette that's fully brown.
This article approaches from a lighting perspective via filmmaking, but essentially Sade Ndya suggests instead of increasing the amount of light, change the color/lens of the light based on your characterâs skin, as well as for the circumstances of the scene. They'll remain vibrant that way, and youâll still capture what you need.
I know one way I do this on CSP (I think Iâve mentioned this but I canât remember) is to use the Add Glow tool with the same or a similar shade of the characterâs brown skin tone as a highlight under natural light, or maybe use different colors or filters depending on the sort of light on their skin at the time.
Hereâs a reddit about it too, just because I know yâall value Reddit on here, and someone else discussed the topic that both Nilah and Sade discussed.
Is It Intentional?
There are going to be times where you intend for the light to be minimal. Maybe itâs a style choice. That should still show purposeful composition. Hereâs an interview with famed Black director Ava Duvernay discussing the intentional darkness on Black actors in the prison scene in the movie Selma. To show that they're both trapped in prison AND that Martin is temporarily low on resolve- it's a part of the story that's being told.
I'm always talking about this: there is a difference between intention (and following through), and neglecting to think about it at all. And neglect isn't what we want, because often we can tell visually when it is- when an artist simply did not think to do it for one versus the rest.
Sidenote, on Youtube in the suggestions after Ava's interview, are also plenty of videos discussing lighting for dark-skin as well- why not take the chance to look?
Conclusion
We do not lack for light! We arenât flat and lightless when you see us in life. It's actually a pretty awesome part of being brown-skinned. If youâre giving proper, flattering lighting to everyone else, give it to us as well. Study and experiment with ways to highlight brown skin.
You already know what Iâm going to say. Itâs going to take practice, same as anything else, because itâs the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
I think this deserves its own post; special thanks to @stephanos-spaceopera for suggesting such a great resource for studying/obtaining skin tone palettes, as well as to study the many, many diverse faces that exist! I'll make sure to put this in a future lesson as well. Check it out!
HumanĂŠ is a photographic work in progress by artist AngĂ©lica Dass, an unusually direct reflection on the color of the skin, attempting to document humanityâs true colors rather than the untrue labels âwhiteâ, âredâ, âblackâ and âyellowâ associated with race. Itâs a project in constant evolution seeking to demonstrate that what defines the human being is its inescapably uniqueness and, therefore, its diversity. The background for each portrait is tinted with a color tone identical to a sample of 11 x 11 pixels taken from the nose of the subject and matched with the industrial pallet PantoneÂź, which, in its neutrality, calls into question the contradictions and stereotypes related to the race issue.
