The White House bragging about how many different countries have reached out to negotiate in response to the tariffs reminds me of that part of Disco Elysium where you have the option to put a loaded gun in your mouth and threaten to pull the trigger as a negotiating tactic. It is certainly one way to start a conversation!

cant afford a new lighter just been carrying around a constantly burning candle to light my cigarettes on and #YUP it has an eternal flame

My ford got a hydrolic module with a jumping bean in it

bro are drivers insane? That's like the second car-related post on Tumblr with the amount of hatred literally not seen under any other type of post ever

Yeah the jumping bean makes the car jump over/across

Road rage is so bad because it's the same rage anyone would feel at a computer working wrong, (slow internet, program not doing what you want, whatever), but it raises the stakes to "possibly literally life or death".

Basically it works by containing the power of the mexigan jumping bean to fire the cylanders inside of the wheel hydraulics and create a massive jumping force

It's so over (got stranded on Mars) we're so back (I can grow food here) it's so over (we left a guy on Mars) we're so back (we've established communication) it's so over (the airlock exploded and the crops froze) we're so back (we've cut down the launch window for a resupply) it's so over (the probe exploded) we're so back (the space program in China has been working on their own probe that can launch in the correct window to get him supplies) it's so over (we didn't tell the hermes crew about a separate possible mission) we're so back (the hermes crew committed mutiny and are now on the way to save Watney) it's so over (we have to remove the front of his spacecraft to get him into space) we're so back (we can cover the hole with a tarp) it's so over (the tarp ripped off during launch and the distance between the hermes and the mav is too wide) we're so back (we can use remaining thruster fuel to course correct) it's so over (if we do this we'll be going too fast) we're so back (we can build a bomb and blow up part of the station to slow us down) it's so over (there's still too much distance between the Hermes and Watney) we're so back (he poked a hole in his suit and flew to us like iron man)

Theres some romeo and juliet shit going on between them right now

Asking AI for information is like asking your drunk uncle for information. Usually wrong, definitely untrustworthy, and a little bit racist.

looking for happiness at the bottom of the ocean

Cool things happening to my onion. #myonion

april showers WILL bring may flowers