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haithhegimp

Anonymous asked:

batfamily headcanons please 🤲

haithhegimp answered:

ooohh i don’t think i have like especially unique or cool headcanons but im happy to share them! thank you so so much for asking!!!! most of my headcanons are inconsistent/change based on what fits for the story im writing/art im making but here are some of my common ones!!

Bruce

When I feel like writing/thinking about Good Dad Bruce:

  • autistic as Fuck. his special interest is crime fighting.
  • bisexual but thought that everybody was until he started crafting personas to fit social norms and was like “Huh”
  • (part headcanon, part character analysis, and lmk if you want a rant about this) uses batman as a form of grieving and part of the reason he continues being batman is a fear of losing his grief

When I feel like writing/thinking about Bad Dad Bruce:

  • genuinely thinks that hitting his kids is fine
  • narcissist
  • control issues

Alfred

  • his waffles are bad on purpose, he gives them to the batfam when they have pissed him off
  • used to accidentally fuck bruce up when he was starting out as batman because alfred is used to being a field medic and having to rush his work
  • (and when i feel like writing bad guardian alfred) neglectful/abuse enabler

Dick

  • he CAN cook and he DOES cook, he just sometimes… forgets to get everything he needs and would rather eat instant shit to save time
  • travels regularly because he never grew out of that from circus life
  • does handstands when he needs to think about something really hard
  • size kink (kori)
  • learned how to whistle like an actual robin for funsies
  • was NOT a good kid in school but very much acted like it and had amazing grades so teachers couldn’t blame him when he fucked shit up
  • needs to have some kind of white noise/background noise to fall asleep
  • ???? sexuality where everyone thinks he’s bisexual and he’ll get with whoever he likes but also has absolutely no clue what to call himself
  • tim and damian are his favourite siblings
  • most acrobatic in the family (obviously)

Babs

  • control freak (affectionate <3)
  • coffee addict but for a very specific Kind of coffee and gets offended when others make jokes about her liking the wrong kind
  • autistic as FUCK. her special interest when she was younger was batman. not sure what it is now though.
  • bisexual
  • weirdo who doesn’t move at all in her sleep. like she’ll go to bed lying down unreasonably straight and wake up in the exact same position
  • smartest in the family (bruce is a close second though) (and obviously best with tech but thats not a competition in the slightest)

Jason

  • part afro-brazillian from willis’ side
  • loves all of his parents :(
  • no all-caste (im so sorry i think theyre very cool but i like jason more without it)
  • wasn’t in the theatre club but wanted SO badly to be
  • sucked at history but was an academic angel in everything else
  • food insecurity and hoarding tendencies
  • amazing at cooking
  • likes learning languages for fun
  • insecure as hell in general
  • ??? sexuality where everyone thinks hes straight and/or ace but he’s so down bad for literally anyone who is remotely hot and nice to him
  • music taste can Never stay the same but its always things that are super intense in one way or another. whether that’s emotions or energy or production, it just has to be intense in some way.
  • neat freak about his personal spaces
  • best brawler in the family (and best shot but thats less of a competition)

Cass

  • (after she’s learned how to talk) likes going nonverbal when one of the batfamily pisses her off and accuses them of ableism (lightheartedly) whenever they try to get her to talk to them
  • has fun trying new foods. she likes new foods
  • tim and duke are her favourite siblings
  • when missions are easy and she knows no one will get hurt, she likes doing things in unnecessarily cool and flashy ways to make the others jealous (they are Not as good as her)
  • the best physical fighter in the family
  • genuinely doesnt realise how fucked up she is half of the time
  • loves all of her parents :(
  • gay. homosexual. lesbian. the most gay ever. women lover Ever. you will not find a single girl more down bad for girls than cass. (also vaguely on the ace spectrum)

Steph

  • secretly/unknowingly an academic whiz but has adhd and dyslexia and/so the school system fucked her over
  • genuinely doesnt realise how fucked up she is most of the time. likes to say that shes the “normal (and funny) one” and the rest of the batfam will side eye her and her trauma so hard
  • the best prankster Ever. no one can beat her.
  • #1 bruce hater (jason is a very close second)
  • jack of all trades (and second best brawler. if she had jason’s size then they’d be equal)
  • bisexual but falls so hard for whoever she’s crushing on that she goes through phases of thinking “maybe i am actually straight/gay”
  • really not consistent but sometimes i like headcanoning her as a trans girl
  • guilty hatred for blues clues. as in she’s seen clips and people talking about the show, and she thinks that it seems nice, but she absolutely refuses to watch a single episode or interact with it. she doesn’t like it but feels bad about not liking it.

Tim

  • sometimes people mistake him for having narcolepsy
  • part vietnamese
  • listens to nightcore and vocaloid (kaito is his fav)
  • dick is his favourite sibling
  • disaster bisexual in every meaning of the phrase imaginable
  • surprisingly good at cooking (he likes doing it for relaxation)
  • has like 15 different puzzle/brain-teaser games on his phone and is on level like 5000 on all of them
  • best at detective work in the family

Duke

i actually know so little about him its a crime. so i barely have any headcanons :(( i am learning slowly!!!!!! but yeah these hc’s are probably really ooc

  • cass is his favourite sibling
  • hates being the only one on the dayshift
  • he and babs are child genius buddies
  • has the most batshit (ba dum tss) insane ideas that he spouts out of absolutely nowhere
  • ??? sexuality in the way that he’s only dated girls so far but thinks gender can fucking die in a ditch

Damian

  • wonder pets enjoyer and would die before admitting it
  • literally looks in the dictionary to find new things to say
  • absolutely no one knows how and where he picked up a slight british accent, not even himself
  • gets accidentally rich off of commissions when he started doing them for fun
  • he is That Kid you see worked on shit in movies as a cameo artist and youre like “HOLY FUCK A TEEN MADE THAT????”
  • has watched all of the lion king tv shows and has Strong Opinions about them
  • horrible insomnia/sleep deprivation that absolutely no one notices until he starts stumbling and wobbling and the fam is like “damian when the fuck was the last time you slept in more than 1 hour bursts”
  • anime enjoyer
  • young and still figuring shit out but like thinks he might be demiro aspec


hope this was interesting if you read the whole way through, lmk what your own headcanons are!!! and have a wonderful day anon <3

haithhegimp

ACK ONE MORE THAT I FORGOT FOR CASS!!!!

she can’t watch live action films or tv shows properly because they’re awkward to her like dubbing is awkward for most people. if its like amazing wonderful incredible acting then its like a really good dub. she prefers comics and cartoons because of that.

cassandra cain dc dc comics batfam batfam headcanons batfamily batfamily headcanons hai rambles

when ignoring how fucked up it is, its a wee bit funny to me that steph was the most ethically responsible robin and then the one that bruce treated the worst.

because dick was like 10 when he became robin, what the fuck were you doing making a ten yo go fight crime? plus he was under bruce’s care which is like a massive thing of coercion and power dynamics.

jason had like NEGATIVE reason to be robin, he just needed to have a home and therapy probably

tim didnt want to be robin he just thought that batman needed one. and after getting adopted there is once again the issue of being under your virtual boss’s care

and Oh God Damian. it was technically dick’s fault this time but like kid did not have a choice in the way he was raised and shouldve gotten like happy fun learning to be a kid times not violent child soldier times

all of that compared to steph who

  • was already a vigilante when meeting bruce
  • voluntarily chose to be a vigilante
  • was not under bruce’s care or guardianship and had a trusted adult
  • was almost a legal adult herself
  • had some fighting experience

like BRO in terms of ethics steph is The Best option and then she was treated like absolute Garbage. wild shit.

dc dc comics batfam robin robins batman stephanie brown hai rambles meta
breyito
haithhegimp

i dont accept the titans tower incident as canon, not for any jason apologist reason, but because genuinely im so fucking confused when it happened.

like obviously it cant be before UTRH, because jasons identity is known already.

during UTRH? youre telling me a budding crime lord who is constantly having to do shit in his area and keep up with all his insane plans has time to go all the way to san fran (roughly 5 hours by flight, MINIMUM), make enough preparations to infiltrate a damn superhero tower, beat a kid up, and head back home- all without compromising any work?? i mean sure i GUESS that can kinda sorta work????

after UTRH? there is absolutely no way that jason suffered grievous enough injury to Fucking Die, courtesy of his DAD, and was fine enough to fight tim. like even with comic book logic thats absolutely deranged recovery speed. and to my knowledge the teen titans issue was supposed to be set around UTRH time so it cant be that jason took the time to recover first and Then decided to fight a child.

like im being so fr ill accept jason slicing tims neck, ill accept him putting a batarang in tims stomach, ill accept him screwing dick over with pretending to be nightwing, ill accept whatever that bs plan involving the kids was that i still need to read about- because regardless of garbage characterization or Whatever, i still know when they happen. but titans tower incident?? titans tower incident???? i am sincerely asking WHEN THE FUCK DOES IT HAPPEN??????

spiritsglade

oh this is really funny i just went on an entire adventure forcibly shoving the entire war games/blockbuster/under the hood/titans tower era of comics into a specific framework of months. (war games starts in nov/dec, under the hood starts late feb/early march and ends in late june. i am not taking critique on this)

please forgive me for hijacking this post with my rambling uh. thoughts about when titan's tower took place are under the cut.

the tl;dr is that it was during under the hood either during issues 8-9 or between 10-11.

Keep reading

liedownquisition

Hi sorry I'm probably going to cause problems with your timeline:

Titans Tower happens something like less than 48 hours prior to Bludhaven blowing up. Which happens in the middle of the confrontation with Bruce.

Here's your timestamp immediately prior to the fight (Teen Titans 2003 #29):

image

And the next morning (Still #29):

image

A couple more for good measure (#30):

image
image
image

(Burbank is Eddie at Marla's Grave, LA is a newspaper about Wonder Woman being a murderer and a flood of demons, Titans Tower is Raven getting attacked by Brother Blood)
After the third one we have a whole fight, gathering the Titans to deal with Brother Blood.

Then there's this one:

image

Which is Kon being depressed on the Kents' couch watching the News about Diana murdering people and the Teen Titans being in the middle of their fight. It pretty much just keeps going in one long continuous fight stemming from the previous, then Superboy Prime shows up and attacks Connor. Still the same day, same fight. It gets a little bit fucky here because we have to swap over to Infinite Crisis but to emphasize I'm not pulling this out of my ass:

The titans Together Page from Teen Titans #32 & Infinite Crisis #4, same fight:

image
image

At the end of this fight the Flashes grabbed SB Prime and ran off with him, & Kon is super fucked up:

image
image

In the trade Version, this leads immediately into the opening panel of Robin 1993 #146:

image

So, yeah. From there it depends on how you think possible flights might be faster, if a super-fast jet can go from one end of the country to the other.

My favorite part about this is it really strikes home how much Jason did absolutely no physical damage to Tim. he was up and fighting literally the next day.

I have a lot of thoughts about this fucking timeline it makes no sense for him to choose it.

haithhegimp

yeah aparently i lied my braincells have continued to be way too fried for me to properly respond to these, so im just putting my original comments here. both of you are SO cool for all of this me personally i could Not keep track of all the BS that happens in dc.

also (for first RB) this is like 10% contradiction and 90% confusion/asking for clarification, but i believe that the weird whatever the fuckery that happens from batman #642 to #644 is set in the future maybe?????? because toooo my understanding UTRH is very directly after steph's death, but in #643, bruce references a thing that happened around the time of her death as "last summer" which i think means its been like a year, so your sorta point about bruce having enough time is not verrryyyy right?? honestly so confusing im not sure feel free to absolutely destroy this point i will appreciate it.

anyways for second reblog, so aparently the timeline was Even More screwed than i thought it was and my original sentiments about not accepting the incident because it makes no fucking sense are Even more valid than i realised!

liedownquisition

Hihi Helllo I have a response to the issue from Revek's timeline (which I brought up to them and they helped point out DC's own glaring issue that I then researched for this response lmao), and had personally forgotten what Batman #642-644 was so I'd like to clarify that: I'm pretty sure those issues actually precede UtH. It's supposed to be the final arc of the War Games plotline, which is generally agreed to fully precede UtH.

I assume you're referring to this panel?

image

To be honest... I think that's Willingham talking out his ass in messing up the timeline, because, well... War Games happened During the school year.

Like... not only was it very much Well After Tim's 16th birthday (July 19th), but it was also past JASON'S 18th birthday (August 16th, mentioned during War Drums/the prelude to War Games), & it was a whole thing that Tim's school was one of the only ones that hadn't been forced to close bcs of the gang war.

... The only think I can find that would tie any of this arc to the "summer" is the fact that Stephanie's brief run as Robin is published with cover dates from July-September 2004 (Actual release dates May-July 2004) a year prior to War Crimes with cover dates September-October 2005 (Actual Release July-August 2005).

(The rest of War Games, ftr, ran from October 2004-January 2005)

spiritsglade

yep yep hai you're absolutely correct feel free to disregard that point about #642-644 entirely. it's straight up my bad for not bothering to read them. i keep on making assumptions like "surely issues within a comic run would be chronological alongside the in-universe timeline, barring clearly labeled flashbacks" and i'll just be wrong. a travesty.

i do still stand by saying that a significant amount of time (on the magnitude of weeks, at least) passes between uth issue #7 and issue #9, just based off of how black mask's second talks about jason:

"He's hitting all the drug buys. We expected trouble in the areas that he deems his territory… but now he seems to be expanding. And whereas before he was enlisting anyone under our province to come work for him…now he seems to just be dispatching them."

reasoning's definitely a little more wishy-washy, but point is. under the hood spans a few months, jason had time to do things. (there's other elements to this too: dick & bruce call the weather "unseasonably warm" in uth #2 implying that it's around winter, uth #13 is almost definitely in late june/early july, based on a reference to father's day in teen titans #27, we know for a fact uth #7 is five weeks after red hood's introduction since uth #1 starts in media res, so those other months have fit in between #7-10, etc... i can put together specific citations/panels for this some other time. lol.)

of course that's all irrelevant for the timeline of teen titan's #29/jason's attack on titan's tower, because, as axel noted, that apparently happened a day or two before bludhaven blew up!! so between uth #10 and #11 is the definitive answer for when titan's tower happened. jason flew to san fransisco, beat up a kid, and immediately came back to go through his entire confrontation with bruce. he's just that good at scheduling things i guess??

haithhegimp

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oh hey @breyito i funnily enough have an entire post dedicated to the 16yos thing lmao

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