Hot Head

People need space; families need air; love needs light. Like Mrs. Anastagio always said, “You need enough rooms to love someone properly.”You know that thing, when you have a million thoughts swirling in you brain, pithy things you want to say, but you know you're going to fail? Miserably? That's going to be this review. In my brain I've tried to compose something cogent but I'm not sure I'll succeed. In the meantime, I won't bury the lead: I Loved It!When I started reading MM, this was one of the books I kept seeing recommended and much loved everywhere. I promptly scooped it up, but inexplicably stalled on reading it. Kind of like that present, so prettily wrapped (look at that cover), that you don't want to open for fear of being disappointed or, in this case, my heart, who somehow knew the contents, tried to protect itself. My conscious mind of course knew nothing, because apparently blurbs are written for other people. I bought this on the strength of high ratings, and had an overall notion that it was about firefighters. It is. But it's more too. More, different, and better than the blurb or cover would have you believe.[a:Damon Suede 4656955 Damon Suede https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1356103744p2/4656955.jpg] has written an unapologetically romantic book, but not a cheesy one, he wields language like a painter, and he's not afraid of color.The particulars are that Griffin Muir, 31, 6'5”, 245 lbs., firefighter, and part-time bouncer, has been feeling some kind of way about his fellow firefighter Dante Inigo Anastagio, 30 y.o., 5'11” (but he likes to say 6'), 190 lbs. Dante is also a best friend, almost brother, ever since the Anastagio clan virtually adopted Griff in his teens. Since the death of his mother, Griff's father basically became an automaton, leading a barren life, living only for work. Meanwhile the Anastagios are the classic Italian-American family: boisterous and always happy to have one more at the table. Welcome Griff. On the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 Griff is working his bouncer gig and keeping an eye out for Dante, who always seems to teeter between one scrape or another. Dante's latest plan to get out of debt and not lose a ramshackle house he's been restoring, bit by bit, and nail by nail, for years, is to do a little “work” for a porn site called Hot Head. At this point I had to take a breath and pause. The story is told from Griff's POV, and when he starts reminiscing about his, and the whole FDNY's experiences during that fateful day I had to choke down tears. I'm doing it now. Some memories live right on the surface of your skin, you can't unsee some things, and you can't forget. Damon Suede managed to evoke the feeling of that time and place, without cheapening the emotion or coming off as manipulative ploy. That same quality is what elevates, IMO, what could've been a GFY, hot, brawny, firefighters in love/lust to something else. The characters and the story are anchored in authenticity. You can't fake that. The Brooklyn neighborhoods, the FDNY culture, the New Yorkness of it all. Anyway, one thing leads to another and Griff finds himself “helping” Dante with his Hot Head job, because there's nothing he won't do for his man. Of course we find out that Griff isn't the only one harboring more than fraternal feelings. I loved that though Griff and Dante have been strictly heterosexual (Griff was even married at one point) their coming together isn't super loaded with “what am I now?” angst, only “does he feel the same?” questions. Griff is worried, rightfully so, about losing his friend and adopted (real) family if his feelings are revealed and, as he expects, unrequited, but though he can't not love Dante, he's also willing to wade the waters as a newly out gay man. Later. He has, as Mrs. A says, an open heart, a big open heart, that just shines through in everything he does. Dante, the ultimate hedonist, doesn't really care about a label, he just wants Griff, sometimes to the point of being annoying, but he's not my boyfriend, and Griff seems to like it. I really appreciate that, once they're together, Griff is very clear on their new status as gay men and will keep Dante in line. There will be no wishful identity erasure here. Though we leave Dante & Griff in a Happy Bubble of New Love, the rose colored lenses are worn on purpose. They live firmly in this world with the good, bad, and ugly. They've seen it poor Tommy. This is Brooklyn, not quite so gentrified, this is the FDNY, officially accepting, but who knows? but they're willing to take the risk. True love is worth it. And maybe they can have Griff's dream:“Suddenly, with perfect clarity, Griff could imagine what their son would be like. His and Dante's. He'd have Dante's humor and looks, Griff's height and heart, and no fear of anything inf the fucking world. He'd be strong and thoughtful and silly and kind-the kind of kid that other parents were jealous of, a boy to win things and climb mountains.”I really liked all of the side characters that gave life to this world and particularly The City as this living thing. I loved how Dante's house (and to some degree The Towers too) was a metaphor for this life they're beginning to hatch. Together. Okay. I'll stop. I'll just add that if you happen to stumble upon your own personal Griffin Muir be smart like Dante and don't let him go. They don't come around too often. About the Audio I did the audio too because it's part of the Romance Package. [a:Charlie David 2895612 Charlie David https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1461856493p2/2895612.jpg] does the AB and he's not bad, but not quite the voices of Griff and Dante I have in my head. He does a valiant effort at Brooklynese but I'm not sure he succeeds, and his voice is perhaps to “refined” for these FDNY guys. But it'll do in a pinch.

Kind of too long but did not fail to make me cry. I wish the two main characters had gotten together in a more climactic way but overall really enjoyed their relationship.

Finally read this book after having it on my TBR for years!

It's tense until the characters get together and then ALL tension vanishes. I don't just mean sexual tension, I mean all the conflicts in the story: the money problem is also solved at the same time, societal homophobia is shelved away and not worried about anymore, same with Griff's father, same with their co-workers at the FDNY. The world becomes right as rain once they fuck. Which, I guess if there isn't going to be miscommunication or new introduced conflict, is fine.

The sexual tension before though is sizzling. It's the classic case of double pining.

I will say though the use of “creamy” to consistently describe Griff's skin, had me looking around my room to see if anyone else was seeing this shit. No, creamy hip is just not the way to go like I don't understand. Creamy? CREAMY?