Bruce will never figure out how to apologize to Steph, he's physically incapable of it, even if he has personally acknowledged his own wrong doing and decided that he owes it to her. Here are some things he has done instead:

- deposits 250k (post tax) into an account Steph didn't know existed

- allowed Steph to yell at him when her tax returns were rejected due to the secret bank account

- allowed Barbara to yell at him about committing identity theft against his employees

- sends her w-2 to the correct address

- presented four modified Spoiler suits with advanced technologies and protection

- four Spoiler suits are summarily returned due to fitting a much younger Steph but not a twenty something Steph

- shoves his whole fist in his mouth when Cass prevents Steph from legitimately killing someone instead of lecturing her

I think a lot about Cass and Steph (zero surprise there), but particularly the way they view the no-kill rule. (Also, at some point this post turned into a fanfic and I don't know how it happened)

Cass is even more extreme than Bruce (mostly because Bruce Wayne as a character has existed so long and been written by so many people, there are contradictions). She would literally die rather than Killin someone else and even if Steph doesn't agree, she respects that. She resuscitates this guy Cass accidentally killed because she knows that's important to her. A difference from Bruce is the fact that Cass loves a redemption more than she loves the fully innocent. Bruce is ready to flip his shit when he finds out Cass killed someone as a child, but Cass is always ready to convince others of giving up on killing and forgive previous transgressions once they make the switch. But, let's not forget, she's all for not killing. That's her religion.

Steph on the other hand is way more ambivalent on the whole thing, but thinks that she should be allowed to use lethal force to protect herself and others. If her only way out of a situation is to slam someone's nose into their brain, so be it. I think she's closer to Green Arrows philosophy (read: I'm not going to kill you because I don't want to inflict that trauma upon myself) than Batman's. And it makes sense for her, she's not as perfectly trained as Batman, Nightwing or Cass's Batgirl, she doesn't have as many non lethal resources to get out of a fight alive. She will try, but if it's her or the bad guys, she's not going to hesitate (and she's most definitely not dying if she has any say on it).

I would kill to read a story where Steph is forced to kill in self defense and has to deal with the fall out. You just know all the other Bats are dragging her around to make a point and no one even cares how she feels about it or if she's okay. Bruce, Jason, Dick and Babs are all arguing about whose fault it is and how it could have been avoided (or if it should have been avoided). Tim would defend Steph, because it's not her fault that she didn't have any other options. Duke would say how absolutely insane the argument is because "what? Did you expect her to die?". Damian would be extremely stressed out trying to figure out if his assassin training would have taken over in that situation or if he would have found another way.

Then there's Steph. She's not engaging, she left the cave hours ago when it became clear that her input was not necessary (to those accusing her nor the ones defending her). Steph refuses to freak out in front of them, she's not taking their fucking condescension. She has just killed someone, for the very first time, in an extremely traumatic life or death situation. It could have been her. Some of her fellow vigilantes argue that it should have been her. That it was her responsibility.

There are so many awful feelings inside her right now because, yes, that guy was a piece of shit, but now he was dead. She had killed him. There's the inherent shock of it, the numb horror of how close it got, now that the adrenaline started fading out. But there's something more insidious, eating away at her heart. It comes in the form, not of Bruce's righteous anger or Jason's delighted glee. Not even Dick's sad puppy eyes of disappointment. No, it's Tim's well-meaning "It's not her fault that she didn't have any other options".

He's trying to placate Bruce, she knows. Tim has been Robin for a very long while, he's playing the argument that has the best chances to get her off the hook. But it is true, she did not have other options. Steph couldn't get out of that situation without resorting to lethal force. There was an implication there, an implication she knew to be true: that Tim could have found another way. That it only came to that because it was her.

Steph doesn't kid herself, she didn't figure Bruce's identity on her own like Cass and Tim. She didn't have any prior super special secret training like Damian, Dick or Cass. She didn't have powers like Duke. She wasn't specifically trained by Batman to be Robin like Tim and Jason, she got a Robin 101 at most. She barely got trained at all because no one except Tim and later Cass saw the point in it. Bats always told her to own it, that she didn't need Bruce's approval to be great, but that was easy from someone smart enough to hack the Pentagon on the daily.

When Cass sits beside her completely silent as usual, Steph has half the mind to push her off the roof. Cass would never be in this situation. Sure, she could barely read and her people-skills left a lot to be desired, but she was a fighting machine. And if it came down to it, everyone knew what she would choose. Still, she didn't push her friend away.

Cass, to her credit, did not try to lecture her or make her feel better. She offered some fries that Steph had to decline. Her stomach felt like a bottomless pit of despair, and she doubted fries would result in anything other than a disgusting puke fest. They stayed there in silence, staring up to Gotham's polluted night sky.

When Steph started to cry, Cass did not shush her. She did not offer empty words or justifications so she wouldn't feel bad with herself. There was no hint of the drama back at the cave, she simply rubbed her back in compromise circles.

"I know," she offered. "I know."

Steph wanted to tell her to fuck off, she didn't know what it was to fail. To not be strong enough, to prove everyone else right. Cass was the most perfect Bat ever, and much like Nightwing, better than Bruce himself could ever dream to be. She was so far removed from even the idea of knowing how Steph felt at that moment... Except she wasn't. Not completely.

Unlike Tim, she had killed before. Unlike Jason, it had destroyed her to the point of not even believing herself to be worthy of living. Had she cried that day? A look at her friends devastated expression is answer enough. So she hugs her. Steph hugs the only person that cares she's hurting. Cass is the only one that can claim she would have done the right thing, and yet, she's not casting any stones. She's hugging Steph back, offering an understanding that no one else seems to share.

They stay like that for what seems like forever, but by the time they break apart, Steph finally accepts the soggy cold fries. They're disgusting, but she's suddenly very hungry. No matter how guilty and inadequate she may feel right now, she doesn't regret living. Cass may not have made the same decision, but she's still standing beside her. Lord only knows what's actually going through her head, Steph doesn't have her ability to read people. She lays her head on Cass's shoulder, and the other doesn't push her away. That's enough for her.

How am I only just learning this!?

Actually these were requests, but I really want to share them here 🧚

sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

Batfam Fic Recs!

Saw some really good fic rec posts recently so I decided I'd make one of my own with a few I haven't seen recced yet. Most of these are relatively short, less than 5k.

Fathers and Daughters by hradzka. Jim Gordon and Cass bonding fic set early during her time as Batgirl.

Tea for Two by Zahri. No Man's Land era. Barbara Gordon and Sarah Essen and the family moments they shared together.

And Be Made Anew by Teleportation_Magic. Angst fic with Major character death but so good. Babs is forced to choose between saving Steph or Cass and makes her choice. Cass, understandably, does not handle it well. Work in progress but so far I'm loving it.

5 Times Batman Didn't Tell Stephanie Brown to Go Home by torches. Short fic that touches on the dynamic Steph might have had with the batfam had Bruce not been so terrible to her.

If you will not share the blame by Teaotter. Short drabble of Tim and Cass in Bludhaven, and the shadows of grief hanging over them.

Moments in Time by museofspeed. Dick centric, exploring the different families he's built throughout the years. I enjoy how many different eras of his life are referenced here.

Gargoyles of Gotham by Mithen. Short fic of the Gargoyles and their favourite batfam members.

It Is Whatever You Love by ciaan. Cass forms a band with her friends. Interesting version of an AU civilian Cass and what that would look like.

Salvage by tielan. Gen fic. Babs and Cass working a mission together.

The Downside of Infinite Vocabularies by gveret. Cass, aged seven and David. All the pain you would expect with that.

Hope you enjoy!

The Babs and Steph Oracle and Batgirl era was so fascinating in a way like you are in college, your mom is finally doing well and your relationship with her is improving. Then your best friend/situationship dumps Batgirl in your lap and leaves the country. You're not happy with this. Her own mom figure is not happy with this. She ends up mentoring you anyways. You actually start to form a bond. One of the smartest people in the world is now helping you fight crime and probably giving college advice too. You went from the most horrific high school experience possible including torture and literal death to having two adults you can actually sort of trust to have your back and a relatively happy daily life as a vigilante. And it only happened once you reached adulthood yourself. Never when you needed it most as a vulnerable child/teen without a single solid parental figure to rely on.

Like its wonderful that Steph got all that. She deserved it. But you can't tell me there wasn't a part of her that looked at Crystal and Babs sometimes and wondered: Why not sooner? Why did every adult in her life let her down back when she was actually a child and their responsibility? Is it the fact that Bruce is dead? That Cass is gone and both Steph and Babs are trying to fill that space in their lives? Why did it fucking take so long for anyone to notice that this kid needed help she wasn't getting, to the point she isn't even a kid anymore when it finally arrives?

Is it a hot take to say I think crystal should hate bruce with her whole being

See, I don't think Stephanie Brown should ever... Crash out like Jason Todd. I don't think that's her character. This is the woman that chose to preserve Bruce's legacy for Damian in the Zombie Apocalypse. But... God. I want to see her anger behind the scenes. She's the one who has to constantly lie, hide her emotions, pretend that everything is fine... Nothing is wrong. Nobody wronged her, actually. Ever! Just hide behind the smile... The only person to ever know is Babs... Maybe Cass. But Babs understands. She knows what Stephanie goes through, she stands up for her... She understands that she can't just lash out at Bruce no matter how you might want to. Stephanie who never crashes out. Stephanie who WANTS to be a hero. Stephanie who knows that to do what she loves she must "forgive" those she's been wronged by, again and again and again.