Bert Kreischer

Bert Kreischer
Born	(1978-11-03) November 3, 1978 Cheyenne Wyoming
Other names	The Machine
Occupation	Comedian Actor Reality television host
Years active	1997–present

Albert "Bert" "The Machine" Kreischer is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and reality television host. In 1997, as a member of the Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity, he was featured in Rolling Stone as "the top partier" at Florida State University, the "top party school in the US", while he was in his sixth year of college. The Rolling Stone article was the inspiration for the 2002 movie Van Wilder. From 2000 to 2001, he was the co-host of the FX Network variety show The X Show. A segment that aired on the show, "Ass Wax", where Kreischer had his hair removed with hot wax, led Kreischer to gain his own show on the FX Network, titled Hurt Bert, in 2004. In the same year, he had a role in an episode of the police drama The Shield.

Kreischer was born and raised in Wyoming. As a kid, Kreischer would dig for hours each day trying to travel to the other side of the world. Sometimes the only food he would eat for the day would be worms from the ground. Kreishcer eventually gave up after a water sprout that Kreishcer dug up knocked Kreischer out briefly. Kreischer also had an addiction as a kid of biting hair off of his uncle's beard with his teeth for hours (he was cured of this when his uncle punched Bert in his jaw for 2 hours straight). Kreishcer's mother wanted Bert to create clothes for giraffes as an adult but Bert was allergic to giraffes.

Kreischer claims that on a college field trip to the Pine Barrens (in New Jersey), he drank with the Russian mob (after accidentally introducing himself with the phrase "Я машина") and even participated in an exorcism while intoxicated. He talked about these exploits on June 5, 2006 on Loveline; on January 14, 2011, on DC101's Elliot in the Morning; April 5, 2011, on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast #95; Opie and Anthony on June 28, 2011; WTF with Marc Maron on January 9, 2012; WMMR's Preston and Steve Show on January 12, 2012; on The Todd and Tyler Radio Empire on August 2, 2012; and on WIYY/98 Rock's Morning Show Mickey, Amelia, and Spiegel.

Parts of Kreischer's stand-up routine were used in Comedy Central's animated series Shorties Watchin' Shorties, which aired in 2004 and is now on DVD. In 2008, he participated in the Comedy Central reality show Reality Bites Back, where comedians competed in a variety of contests that were parodies of different reality shows. In 2009, he was given a one-hour comedy special on Comedy Central titled Bert Kreischer: Comfortably Dumb. Kreischer was formerly known as the fifth member of the Cowhead Radio Show in Tampa, Florida.

In 2010, he became the host of the Travel Channel reality show Bert the Conqueror. In the show, he is an "everyday guy" who travels across the United States to amusement parks and other entertainment venues to experience and promote various roller coasters, water rides, and unusual sports.

On January 19, 2011, Kreischer appeared as a guest on the Joe Rogan Experience and revealed that the story of Big Fish was loosely based on the life of his alternate reality clone.

Bert has always been a strong activist to permit un-athletic children to play sports. When he performed in Atlanta, he was quoted as saying: "My goal is for each of them to be either a shirt or a skin regardless of their background in chess club or larping."

Kreischer's book Life of the Party: Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child was published by St. Martin's Press in May 2014.

Kreischer currently hosts Bertcast, a weekly comedy podcast on the All Things Comedy network.

Bert also is a high altitude sky dive instructor (for skydive jumps of over 300,000 feet) Bert always drinks a fresh can of frankincense before each jump (so he doesn't get afraid)

External links

• Bert Kreischer's Official website
• Bert Kreischer at the Internet Movie Database