My office divvies up part of our caseload alphabetically, and one of our secretaries just sent me a new file that’s not in my part of the alphabet. Because I’m so very helpful I responded:
Moments later, the printer in my office fired up and spit out this piece of paper:
It’s a very hot day here and based on that sheer fact I decided to host a pool party for my ducklings (and their tiny old siblings the bantam chicks)
Everyone was pretty cautious at first…
But eventually they began to filter outside of their container. They first flocked to their usual food and water bowls:
But eventually someone discovered the big pool. The initial “ramp” did not seem to help much, but the advent of Duck Stairs provided me with this unfiltered, noisy joy!
Everyone seems delighted with this little outting, and it’s a lovely way to spend a Saturday evening.
hate that the advice to blur your sketch before you start lining it is so helpful. i put so much work making that sketch overly clean and detailed and now the best thing i can do with it is turn it into soup. mad. and yet it does work. it really really works.
you have to guess and if you get it wrong you go to jail for a long time
1) only if you’re lying on purpose to hide taxable income or claim deductions you don’t qualify for (like, don’t lie and tell the IRS you have a kid when you don’t). If you are wrong THEY WILL LET YOU KNOW AND SEND YOU A BILL. (Or if you’re wrong in the other way, they send you a check) Don’t stress about this as long as you’re not trying to commit tax fraud!
2) call the IRS with questions! It can take a while to get through the queue, but they are SUPER knowledgeable and helpful!! I have called in the past and they’ve been SO HELPFUL, and SO KNOWLEDGEABLE, and FIXED STUPID MISTAKES I MADE.
3) IF YOUR ADJUSTED GROSS INCOME IS UNDER 79K, YOU CAN USE FREE FILE, WHICH IS NEW THIS YEAR!!
Don’t fear the IRS. The wealthy do, and they want you to fear the IRS too, so you’ll vote for Republicans who want to strip the IRS of funding so they can’t audit rich people.
Conservatives do give more money to charity than liberals, on average, and no, it’s not just to specifically religious charities like churches. Having helped start a food bank in a red state, the most conservative people in town were also our biggest donors and volunteers. We had a lot of talks about charity vs. government aid, and they absolutely put their money where their mouth was. When they said “we should have private charity rather than public aid” they meant it and they put it into practice. (Not all conservatives do, but it’s a fairly high percentage of your average middle-and-lower-class conservatives.)
The problem is twofold. First, the money and time they donated does NOT equal the money and time that state-and-federally-funded aid can give. In the 19th Century we tried “charity as the bedrock of how we ameliorate poverty” and it didn’t work, and that’s why we started welfare programs. They did not (and would not) understand the difference in scale, between what they and others like them were willing/able to give, and what the government could provide.
Second, they were very generous! to people they thought were deserving. We had a constant battle that no, you can’t turn people away because you think they’re lazy. No, you can’t treat people like shit because you disapprove of them. No, you can’t separate people into the “good” people who are poor in the right way and deserve help, and the “bad” people who deserve to starve.
It’s also worth noting that this is heavily dependent on income. Poor people tend to be the most generous, as a percentage of their income; middle class people are in the middle; rich people, on average, are very stingy.
So what’s happening is that rich conservatives say “charity should be private, people should give voluntarily instead of the government helping.” They advocate for this so that they don’t have to give, because they’re not going to give voluntarily, so this saves them a lot of money. Middle-class and poor conservatives agree without noticing the hypocrisy, because they are (on average) very generous (to people they think “deserve it”), and so they assume that the rich people who claim to share their values and political ideology are as sincere as they are.
Another issue is that when times are tough, people will donate less because they can’t afford as much, and as it’s the middle and poorer brackets who tend to donate to begin with, charities have less to go around to a greater number of people who need it.
When it’s government aid through a progressive tax system (I.e. greater tax for higher income earners), aid can remain far more stable, at the very least.
After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.
“I like your shoelaces.”
Oh. Oh no.
I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”
The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”
This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!
This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.
WHAT?
The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.
WHAT?????
Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?
Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.
Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.
WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL
This is very true lol
Yo what the f u c k
not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????
I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.
What the fuck
i-
….thank you tumblr??
hm.
I legit thought this was a shitpost until I saw the rest of the comments
I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, too.
Well I never
As a general rule of thumb, do not push air into any bodily orifice, regardless of gender. It never ends well. Air compressors and the human body do NOT mix.
Not even the mouth, shit can rupture a lung.
I’m asexual but reblogging to potentially save lives
reblogging because what the fuck this should be commonly known
reblogging bc this was the first post on my fyyp and holy shit
reblogging bc
this was the first post on my
fyyp and holy shit
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
