greeniery:

greeniery:

I’ve had a tumblr for 4 years what the fuck am I doing with my life 

chuckles darkly

(via chibisquirt)

charl0ttan:

the skill of going “jesus i just dont fucking care” and scrolling on

(via henryofwales)

anxeious:

(via humanmessofaperson)

evilwizard:

wizard-council-bureaucrat:

“Why are we seeing so many Evil Wizards these days?!” two reasons:

1. Most wizards used to die in horrible accidents during their apprenticeship, but since the so called ‘apprenticeship rights’ laws went into effect more wizards survive to go in to grad school, thus becoming evil
2. Evil Wizard has figured out cloning

you are spreading valuable trade secrets

(via jezebelgoldstone)

stonylovessteve:

Stony Loves Steve 2025

Hello, Everyone! Stony Loves Steve is back for another year!

We’re back again to celebrate Steve’s birthday, July 4th, with Stony Loves Steve! This is a Steve/Tony gift exchange where participants create and receive Steve-centric fanworks.

There are plenty of wonderful creations based on Tony, and that’s awesome!. For this exchange, however, we’re choosing to focus on Steve. We hope to see more works exploring him and his side of his relationship with Tony across the Marvel multiverse, whether that relationship is slash or friendship.

Sign-ups will open on April 13th and run until April 27th. Additional scheduling info here. 

An AO3 account is necessary to participate as the exchange is run through the site. If you do not already have one, please request one ASAP as it may take some time for AO3 to send your invitation. You can do that here. You can also contact us at stonylovessteve@gmail.com we may be able to provide you with an invitation.

As with last year we are allowing podfic, so don’t forget to check out our FAQ for rules and requirements! 

wildspringday:

“came back wrong” but it’s from work

(via timesforgotten)

werewolf-transgenderism:

ALT

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

prints

(via transmascskywalker)

thatswhatsushesaid:

thatswhatsushesaid:

shoutout to everyone

this was going to be a very different text post before i pressed enter too soon, but you know what, nevermind. shout out to everyone. don’t we all deserve it

(via akwarelki)

onelonelystory:

shkspr:

do you guys remember “kick his ass baby i got yo flower”

this is like asking a medieval christian monk if he remembers the ten commandments like if not what have I been wasting my years learning

(via devotioncrater)

avengerscompound:

Chris Evans as Steve Rogers & Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark
Avengers: Endgame

(via aboxofscraps)

thetoxiczombie:

This panic happens like every few months.

(via armandgender)

currentlycryingaboutlancelot:

william-shakespeare-official:

currentlycryingaboutlancelot:

imagining an alternate timeline where shakespeare wrote a play about king arthur. we would be so unwell

yeah cause thou art so well otherwise, tumblr user currently crying about Lancelot

you know what verily i deserv’d this

(via fluffypotatey)

beguilingcorpse:

shanedoesstuff:

gayfrasier:

i love the phrase “which could mean nothing” i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

excuse me, no I wasn’t???

ALT

congratulations to today’s lucky 10000

(via home-and-having-tea)

inbabylontheywept:

britcision:

inbabylontheywept:

so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, beforeshe said babs, what the fuck.

i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i’m assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would’ve used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.

big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.

anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.

im pregnant, said my mouth.

great job, mouth, said my brain.

mmmmm onion, said my mouth.

better you than me, said my wife.

then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.

(but that might just be the onion.)

Okay but now I have to know

What was the truth??

Because it simply cannot be as obvious as “what, I like onions”

It can’t

Because that would not need a lie

I know people who eat onions like apples simply for pleasure

I don’t understand them, but they say “what, I like onions”, and we both shrug, and they carry on

Also. Was. Was the plan to eat the whole thing? Just no more half red onion? Because the alternative form of “getting away with it” was you were planning to put it back with a bite taken out of it before she came in and that is if anything more unhinged

okay so i do this thing that i call tummy tacos where i put all the ingredients to a taco in front of me, but like, separate. and then i take big bites of all of them. but just one at a time. like one big mouthful of taco chicken and then swallow and then a separate big mouthful of chopped cabbage and then swallow and then a corn tortilla and you get the idea.

(my wife considers it Barbaric. she does not approve of tummy tacos.)

but yesterday i had this idea for stomach pico de gallo there i was gonna eat an onion and then a tomato and then a jalapeno and then some cilantro. thud achieving salsa internally. but i underestimated the call of the onion. i really could give a damn about everything else after the onion. i felt the love of jesus in that onion.

and thus i fell into folly.

(via wickedlittlecritta)

greengableslover:

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (2005) dir. Joe Wright

(via weloveperioddrama)