Man you made a great game, I'm serious I've played a lot of visual novel games and I can tell you that you made a good game (I can't judge and give suggestions because I only played it in the browser) I'm so sad that I can't continue the game because of the payment,
I highly suggest you make it free. Why? Most people who play visual novel games want the game to have voice acting, character images and achievements in order to think about playing the game. That's not available here. They really don't appreciate the text and the people who are interested in the game will just play the demo and leave so I'd rather you put a support link and make the game free so everyone can try the game and the people who are interested will support
I'm sure this would be much better.
At least that's what all the developers I know do
And I hope you continue to develop.