Every Grocery Cart

My grocery cart

Squeaky wobbly front wheel

Clean up aisle seven

Every shopping cart 

In this grocery store

            Wheels that wobble

               Wheels that squeak

An olive jar

High up on the shelf

       Met it’s match

               With Newton’s gravity

Favorite Products

Brass Zippo lighter

La Gloria Cubana

Galactic Face Slap

Outdoor Poetry

 48 degrees

A beer a cigar a book of poems

Chickadees serenade 

Dragonfly Siesta

Morning visitor

A dragonfly’s siesta

Outdoor coffee mate

 

Ursa Karhu

Little bear chases

Big bear circling each night

Satellites streak through 

Birthday Snow

Trees begin to bud

Rain turns temperature drops

April birthday snow

 

Parisian Pondyachts

Little toy boats

Sailing Luxembourg Gardens

Children skippers

 

Catching sunfish

Pink cotton candy sky

Raindrops pattering calm lake

Catching sunfish

 

Little Round Tables

Little round tables

Cold beer red wine olive tray

Man selling roses

 

Bald Eagles Calling

Deafening silence

Pine boughs whispering

Eagles calling

 

Campfire

 Orange embers glowing

Flames tickling pine smoke rising

Chili in the pot

World Poetry Day 

Night’s Darkness

Night’s silent darkness

Heavens reveal twinkling stars

Aurora shimmers

 

Charlotte’s Home

Silky web black hole

Tree stump cavity netting

Charlotte’s summer home

 

Angel Aurora

Aurora floating high

Shimmering neon colors

Angel in the sky

 

MN Vikings Haiku

Pre season trading

Superbowl contenders

Rodgers in purple

 

Images borrowed from the googles

Metro Abbesses

Screeching Metro train

Bounding tunnels of blackness

Lone man serenade

Bear Hop

Ursa Minor brew

Ice cold and refreshing beer

India Pale Ale

Distant sky blue horizon

Lake Superior cage view

 

The Old Dock

Old sun weathered dock

Memories of summers past

Crippling wind and waves

 

Eagles to Soar

 Rising mist signals damp chill air

Lake gently caressing granite shore

Cedar and pine scents wafting winds share

Sun’s rising warmth beacons Eagles to soar

Gunmetal Flight

 Low gunmetal clouds

Blanketing the horizon

Gull taking late flight

Cribbage

 There’s a fifteen two

Fifteen four a pair makes six

Now I have you skunked

Morning Coffee

 Morning mist rising

Kettle over open fire

Mayfly in mug

Retirement Walkabout

 

 

It’s been two months and two weeks since I retired from the cube farm.  Thus far it’s been quite awesome.  I have my lawn mowed before noon.  I shop with my fellow whiteheads for groceries.  Odd to see so many non whitehead club members shopping on our time.  Everything is at a slower less harried pace.  The cashier at Cub chats with each customer as though we’ve all known each other for years.  

I’ve formulated new schedules and noticed some things.  Rather than waking up at 6 am each morning; I’m now embracing the day between 7 and 8 am.  My new daily routine is going on walkabouts each morning between 8:30 and 9 am.  Afterwards, coffee out on the deck basking in the shade of the table umbrella.

Interesting to see other people have similar schedules.  I expected to see more whiteheads out and about.  But so far its a 50/50 mix of white/blue rinse heads and 20-50 something’s.  Are they working or hardly working and slacking off while “working” from home?   

I came across yet another construction site along my 5 mile walk this morning.  The crew were napping.  I thought about using the construction equipment.  But the crew is not around to operate the crane to get me up off the ground.

One of the coyotes at the Mill Pond seems to be sleeping late into the morning.  They’re easy to sneak up on, they can’t get away, they have no legs.  They too are slacking off on their duties to keep the hoard of geese away from contributing tons of goose poop all over the park.  

By 10 am the Rotten Ronny McDonny’s  drive thru is lined up with 11 cars waiting to order McSlop.  From Ronny McDonnys past LifeTime Fitness I see all kinds of Rotten Ronny’s wrappers, cups and bags adorning the gutters and boulevard.  A testament of the Ronny McDonny patrons.

Walking across the pedestrian bridge over 169, I pass Elm Creek Brewery, I could go for a beer this time of morning.  Sadly, they open at noon.  Ahead from the bridge I hear the young screams and laughter from Kindercare.  From the bridge, you look down into their outdoor compound. It’s a riot of kidlets running around, riding tricycles into each other.  Theres a splash pad, one kidlet is wearing a plastic sand bucket asa helmet.  Another sprays the adult Kindercare warden.  It’s complete pandemonium and chaos that makes me smile.  

Caribou Coffee has weak iced tea.  Just Love Coffee has better iced tea.  And their sandwiches are made with waffle bread!  Both are busy with a mix of generations.  Some working, some visiting, some meeting discussing business.

Heading into Target to pick up some items, I hear a police siren heading north on 169.  As the sirened squad car heads north, from the woodlot south of Target near the dental office, there’s a chorus of coyotes howling in unison with the squad car.  To add more irony, I spot a 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner in the parking lot.  I hurry into Target in fear of an Acme Anvil falling on me.

The remaining half mile from Target to home is uneventful and alone.  Except for the mail truck delivering mail and a man walking his  Rottweiler.  The Rottie is big and muscular.  Clenched in it’s jaws is his “stick”, a four foot long tree branch the diameter of Folgers 3 pound coffee can.  I say, “thats quite the stick he found!”   He replied he would not leave without it.  What a good dog.

 I look forward to tomorrow’s walkabout. 

Mistress Day?

 

Years ago when I worked second shift, coworker Jerry and I would stop by for lunch before our 2:00 shift.  Always a good time.  One such lunch outing we decided to splurge on ribeyes and dined at Jaxx Cafe in NE Minneapolis.  

We sat eating our ribeye and spuds.  When we noticed we were the only peeps dressed in blue jeans and work shirts.  We also noticed all the other tables were couples dressed up in their finest artire, suits and skirts.  

Thats when it hit Jerry.  He laughed and said to me, “do you know what day it is?  Its February 13th, Mistress Day!”  Sheesh, the day before Valentines Day.  I looked around and sure enough, some of the suits were older men while the skirted females were younger.

We laughed and caused a scene.  I then asked Jerry, “who is the mistess in our situation?”

Hope you all had a great Valentines Day and/ or Mistress Day.  🤣

A New Path

I watched kids walking to the bus stop as I drove by on my way to work.  I got to thinking; those kids do not comprehend their next 40 years of listening to corporate managers and CEOs drone on about maximizing profitability, mission statements and virtue signaling.  

To be young, carefree and innocent again and not bear witness to all that corporate nonsense.  Then I thought, sheesh, this coming May will mark my 40th anniversary graduating from high school.  I can still remember that last year of exuberant excitement to graduate and choose my life’s path.  And leaving high school with no comprehension of the reality that lies ahead.

Much the same way I now feel of leaving the corporate world for a small taste of freedom on this new life path.  More time to learn and explore a more suitable path.  A path less rigidly defined.

However, I will still be working; my new full time career as house husband.  I better start honing my skills as trophy husband, now.

 

Monday morning blues

Weekly stress and anxiety

Recycle repeat

Family Snowman

Today we said our goodbyes to Aunt Ellen.  Her funeral was in Carlton, MN; just under a two hour drive from home.  We reminisced, we cried, we laughed, we ate, and we came together as a family. 

There were no hiccups on the drive north on Interstate 35.  We passed Terry driving Aunt Alma as they took an exit to the rest area.  My sister drove my folks and Aunt Mary.  Karen and my Pop kept texting to report on our travel progress stating we were ten miles behind them.  I sure wish he had warned me of the highway patrols in the center median of I35.  Thankfully, there were no speeding tickets.  Though that would have added hilarity to the day in honor of Aunt Ellen.  We, or I should say I, set the left lane pace with three vehicles keeping pace behind me.  In the center median a few short miles south of our highway 210 exit, I noticed the familiar maroon and white patrol car facing towards the southbound lanes.  Our eyes meet as we flew by him.  Thats when I noted my speed set at eleven over posted.  

Whats funny about this you may be thinking?  Well, Aunt Ellen’s hobby was listening to the Carlton County police scanner.  And about twenty years ago, I ended up being gifted a speeding ticket for ten miles per hour over the posted speed limit.  As we sat there on the highway, my cousin Colleen was laughing stating, “yep, mom is listening to this right now.”  Sure enough, not only did my Aunt Ellen hear of my speeding ticket adventure on the Carlton County police scanner, so did my folks and probably the rest of our relatives.  Aunt Ellen no doubt had a laugh about this close call up there in heaven.  

One time about the same era, Karen and I stopped in to visit Ellen and Lloyd.  We knocked on their door.  The TV was on, but nobody answered.  Perhaps they didn’t hear our knock.  We stepped in; nobody home.  So we left to get something to eat at the truck stop. We met Ellen and Lloyd telling them we stopped by.  Aunt Ellen said if we were hungry, we should have just taken something out of the fridge.  Thats the way it was with family hospitality.  Family was the center.  

It was a joy to see this inflatable snowman by Aunt Ellen’s casket.  You see, this snowman was set in the upper corner of our Grandparent’s farm house.  Its been there since the mid 1960’s where their house was the center of the family.  Everyone simply dropped in to visit.  Food was somehow always involved.  We all stayed at the farm house for weddings in the area.  The living room floor was littered with sleeping bags where many of us cousins slept.  The snowman kept us company watching over us.  None of us could remember a time the snowman wasn’t there.  Amazingly, it never deflated.  Its still the original air Grandpa blew into it.  When Grandma and Grandpa passed on, Aunt Ellen inherited the snowman keeping the tradition of a family gathering place.  It was good to see my family and reminisce our shared memories. 

Dormant Canoes

Dormant canoes

Peaceably resting lakeside

White blankets of snow

Morning Soar

 

Rising mist signals damp chill in air.

Lake gently caressing granite shore.

Cedar and Pine aromas wafting winds share.

Sun’s rising warmth beacons Eagles to soar.

The Misfit Toy Caper

I’ve always wondered about the Island of Misfit Toys in the adventures of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.   Who made these low quality toys?  Certainly these unwanted misfit toys had to be built in Santa’s workshop.  His quality control personal must have been on vacation to let so many misfits slip through.  No child wants such misfits as a Charlie in the Box.  Or a doll that cries and has no nose, a water pistol that only shoots jelly, a polka dotted elephant, a swimming bird, a Cowboy riding an ostrich.   A sinking boat, a flightless airplane, a train with square wheels on it’s caboose.  How did they get onto the island?  Were they kidnapped by King Moonracer?   

 

Early on we see Santa’s elves busily making toys and singing their silly elven songs.  Heck even Santa wasn’t impressed by their singing.  Hermey the elf seemed all too preoccupied with Dentistry rather than toy making.  Strangely, he tries fixing doll’s teeth with a hammer and pliers.  Not to sound anti dentite but what kind of Dentist uses a hammer and pliers to fix teeth?  Could it be that Hermey the Dentist wanna’-be is the original quiet quitter?  All the other elves cherish their toy making tasks and choir practice.   All but Hermey, his painting skills and singing ability are lacking.  Was Hermey responsible for all the toy misfits?

 

As the story unfolds, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, a district outcast from the reindeer games, meets up with our pre-Dentistry elf Hermey.  They begin their adventures together playing keep away from the Abominable Snowmonster.   Only Rudolph’s bright red nose always gives them away.   Prospector and North Pole Expedition guide Yukon Cornelius guides them directly to the Island of Misfit Toys.  Hermey seems all to aloof and the misfit toys give him little attention.  Something seems not too right there as though the misfit toys know, and Heremy doesn’t wish to draw attention to his poor toy making skills.  Even King Moonracer wanted to be rid of this crew, as if he were plotting something.

 

It stands plausible that these misfit toys were created by Hermey the elf.  His mind was not in the toy making business.  Instead of working, he constantly read the book of dentite.  Between reading dentistry skills and using a hammer improperly on doll’s teeth and toys, we see an elf in phycological distress.  An elf clearly unsuited for toy making.  Why wasn’t HR involved?  Clearly this elf has no toy making skills.  His manager in the green coat should have nurtured this hapless pre-dentite elf into a different position more suited to his skill level. 

 

Was Santa’s work shop a Union Shop?  Union rules were never brought forth, but its plausible.  That may explain why Hermey was never fired.  However, a Union shop would never allow cross job work.  A dentist making toys?  Never.  Was this an independent shop?  Possibly.  Early on Hermey and Rudolph set out to be independent together.  This foreshadowing may explain this not to be a Union shop.   And the misfit toys a simple write off by Santa to King Moonracer who stands to profit by taking the misfits off Santa’s hands.   

It seems Rudolph got his revenge by guiding Santa’s sleigh through a raging blizzard while earning kickbacks from King Moonracer by convincing Santa to pick up these misfit toys.  Santa unwittingly redistributed his shoddy toys at his own expense.  A win win for the island king.  But do the good little children actually receive these unwanted toys?  One of Santa’s elves hands an umbrella to the toys and carpet bombs the world with unwanted misfits.  We do not see where these toys end up.  Do they find their ways into children’s homes, the landfill, or, back on King Moonracer’s Island?  More investigation is needed.

So many birds

 On my commute home from work, the radio was airing that silly Twelve Days of Christmas song.   It got me thinking I need to add seed to the bird feeders.  Somehow, it also got me thinking how many birds we’re to recieve from our true love.   

Day 1 - we’re given a partridge in a pear tree.  In twelve days, thats 12 partridges!  I’ll take that!  I haven’t been out in the woods partridge hunting in years.

Day 2 - we get two turtle doves.  Well, thats fine I guess, can you cook up a turtle dove?  In eleven days we get 22 of these doves.

Day 3 - French hens, 3 of them.  Thats a heckuva’ lot of coq au vin to prepare and cook.  In ten days, thats 30 French hens into the  Le Creuset dutch oven.  

Day 4 - we’re now stuck with 4 calling birds.  With my luck they’re probably cawing crows or squawking bluejays.  In nine days thats 36 of these noisy birds.  Wow!

Day 5 - golden rings well ain’t that nice.  Eight days of five golden rings for a total of 40 rings.

Day 6 - now we’re to get six geese a laying.  In seven days, thats 42 geese a laying eggs.  Well, thats gonna’ be a crapful of eggs.  I suppose we could sell all them eggs.

Day 7 - seven swans a swimming for six days, 42 more aquatic birds.  I sure hope they don’t lay eggs, we’re overflowing with eggs.

Thats 184 birds in total.  Why the hell would our true love give us that many birds?!  Never mind how this is even possible; what are we supposed to do with that many birds?  I guess I better buy more bird seed, eh.

Bob Cratchited

 

FirstDataFiserv, day 4 without heat; 

its 59 degrees in the office and Scrooge still has not repaired the office furnace.  We now know what Bob Cratchit was dealing with.  Instead of a candle, I’m using my Zippo lighter to warm my hands.  At least we’ll get a Christmas goose after the three influencers prance about Ebenezer.  A Christmas miracle, Right?  Poor Tiny Tim…

Little Cedar Tree

 Little cedar tree,

Growing near shore out of rock,

Basks in sunset glow.

Crossroads

 

Standing at the crossroads.  I did not see the devil.  

But he did try to persuade me to keep walking and not go back to the office.