A huge part of my childhood was spent willing the hours away spent on boring classes, praying to gods I don’t even believe in, to turn time faster so I can hurry home and watch the day’s episode of Meteor Garden. I was too young to understand the relationships and love stories showcased in the show, but it didn’t matter. Afternoons were spent with Shancai and her daily struggle with the F4.
Oh how I hated those arrogant rich boys. How dare they terrorise and ostracise poor Shancai. I didn’t care that Ah-si basically owns the school and his minions were on his beck and call, how dare he be rude to Shancai, who does he think he is? I was always on her side, whether on the show, or in real life as Barbie Hsu.
When I got a little older and understood things a bit better, I still chose Shancai’s side. Even more so, as the years went by. Season 2 of Meteor Garden had me fuming at the story, like what do you mean Ah-si just forgets her and gets with Xiao Zi? I never accepted that, and I guess until now I still have gripes over that part of the story.
Because I realised, Shancai was the older sibling I never had. Sure, I have siblings in other parts of the country, but as a child raised in strict social isolation, all my knowledge about the outside world was taken from the shows and games and books I consumed. And Shancai was an integral part of who I am now as a person. Headstrong, unapologetic, polite when needed, but no-nonsense especially when she knows she’s being wronged.
Hers was a character who faced behemoths of society, as the Daomings practically owned the entire world she existed in. From the glaring, belittling gaze of the family matriarch Daoming Feng, to the initial apprehension of Ah-si’s sister Zhuang, and the rest of F4 making her feel inadequate and not enough for Ah-si or Huaze Lei, and her own asshole of a mother, Mrs. Dong, Shancai survived her daily struggles smiling, even when the entire universe felt stacked against her.
That was the kind of person I aspired to be, as a kid. I would like to say I reached that goal, but who knows. All I know is Shancai was a pillar of my developmental stages in life, and I feel like I have turned out to be a decent person, huge thanks to her. Also, that bus scene? I still have the whole thing memorised, down to how the oranges fell from her paper bag, running down the busy street, chasing after the bus, guitar instrumental background music, paralleled with the previous times Ah-si chased after another bus, running after her.
I always thought I’d be able to visit Taiwan and happily claim I’m walking the paths Barbie Hsu took, as a person, and as Shancai. Maybe even get married in the same country she fell in love and got hurt and learned to love again, coz Taiwan is one of the only places in Asia I can do that. Or maybe find the billboard she rented with whatever cash she was able to scrounge up, looking for Ah-si. Never did I imagine I’d possibly be walking the streets of Taiwan in a reality where Barbie is no longer with us.
Shancai, the person who taught me love, resilience, friendship, loyalty. The “kind of weed which no matter how trampled upon, will still grow”. The sister I never had, growing up. Barbie Hsu, the actress who gave life to one of the characters I keep close to my heart. Gone too soon. Only last week I was looking for her profile in Xiaohongsu, and now I’m listening to the Meteor Garden OST in memory of Dong Shancai.
In peace, may you leave this shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again.
