I get that you’re upset, and I totally understand wanting to express how you feel, but I just want to point out a few things.
First off, it’s not fair to judge an entire community based on a few bad experiences. Just as not all straight people think or act the same, LGBTQ+ people are diverse and can’t be generalized. It’s not helpful or accurate to suggest that the entire LGBTQ+ community “dehumanizes straight people.” If you’ve met people who were rude or hurtful, that’s on their behavior, not the identity they hold.
Also, saying being LGBTQ+ “isn’t a personality trait” really minimizes the challenges and discrimination we face simply for existing. For me and many others, our identities are part of who we are and deeply important, much like anyone’s cultural background, religion, or personal values.
About pride events: I’ve never been to one because it wouldn’t be safe for me, but from what my friends say, they’re super fun and full of positive energy. Most pride events are really family-friendly, so saying kids shouldn’t go seems kinda harsh when the whole point is inclusivity and love. I get if you’ve heard some bad stuff about certain events, but that doesn’t represent all of them.
Your experience with a pedophile is horrible, and I’m really sorry you went through that. But it’s important to remember that one person’s actions don’t speak for the entire LGBTQ+ community. As someone who has been groomed by both a lesbian and adult men, I can tell you that this happens in every community, not just in LGBTQ+ spaces. It’s not fair to blame the whole group for what a few people did.
Also, asexual and aromantic people are valid, and saying they’re “boring” or accusing them of sociopathy is seriously disrespectful. Not everyone feels or expresses affection the same way, and just because someone doesn’t want or need the same kind of love that you do doesn’t make them weird or wrong.
But you’re right. Sometimes people in the LGBTQ+ community can be judgmental about who’s “gay enough” or “trans enough.” That’s a real issue, and it’s not okay. Everyone should be able to express themselves however they want without being criticized for it. But saying things like “comfortable and grateful with the gender and identity they have” doesn’t really apply to everyone. Gender is a human construct, and identity isn’t something you’re just born with—it’s something built over time. It’s about how you feel, how you experience the world, and how you come to understand yourself. Everyone’s journey with gender and identity is personal and complex, and the idea that it’s just something you’re born into without ever questioning it doesn’t reflect everyone’s experience.
As for slurs, I get it. It’s confusing. But slurs are words that have been used to harm and hurt people, and some communities, like LGBTQ+, have reclaimed them to take away their power. For example, the word “queer” used to be a bad slur, but now a lot of LGBTQ+ people use it proudly because we took it back. It’s the same with words like “faggot” or “dyke"—some people in the community have reclaimed them as empowering terms. The key here is that this happens within the community. It’s not okay for someone outside of it to use those words. It’s about respect and understanding the history behind them.
It’s definitely a nuanced topic, and the rules around who can or can’t say these things aren’t black and white, but ultimately, who uses those words and why makes all the difference.
It’s also not cool to push labels on people who don’t want them. I’m sorry that you have experienced this. It’s wrong for anyone to force a label on you that you don’t identify with. But honestly, it feels like there’s a lot of frustration in your post, and maybe it comes from personal experiences that have hurt you. Feeling hurt by certain things is one thing, but holding onto so much anger towards an entire group doesn’t seem healthy. I think it might help if you try to approach things from a more understanding place, because holding onto that anger can just keep you stuck in negativity.
At the end of the day, it’s fine to have opinions, but the way this is written feels super judgmental and harsh. If you want to have a real conversation, maybe try coming from a place of understanding instead of just attacking.
ALT
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