I actually have been writing a lot lately!! Which is so good 🫶🩵 but for some reason I’ve just been feeling too shy to post anything 🙈🫣

I think I’m finally making peace with my inability to feel content within writing groups. I’m not so big-headed that I believe I’m fundamentally different from others to the point that I can never achieve any sense of community (an arrogant, self-isolating fallacy we can easily fall into).

But something about the discussions and discourse on writing I often encounter not only discourages me from writing, it also discourages me from reading other people’s work with sincere enthusiasm. That’s something I never want to happen to me.

The final straw was a little group meet-up yesterday where a cluster of people got so hung up on grammar in one writer’s work, we completely disregarded his wishes on where he wanted to direct his energy (establishing his voice). I’m a huge grammar person, but you know, time and place.

I feel much more free when I’m simply writing by myself and then maybe sharing it with people who might enjoy it. I enjoy hearing/reading what they might have to say and responding to them like it’s a conversation. I like reading other people’s work and sharing my thoughts and hearing their responses. I think what I want is so simple, I can’t find it.

So, for now, I’m going to redirect my social energy to other facets of my personality and keep writing for myself and those who maybe happen upon a fanfic or whatever else I post. Similarly, I can read other people’s work with less of a burden on my shoulders than when I feel I need to appeal to a certain writing-group-speak. It’s not really something I want to turn into a class with set requirements, so for the time being, no discourse, just creativity. Fun.

I already feel more inspired to write and read again 📝 📖

New Year, new icon. I was taking pictures of the sun through glass and watching how it split into the iridescent fractals 🌅