independent   and   selective         nikolai   lantsov         from   the            GRISHAVERSE         by   leigh   bardugo.   this   blog   mostly   focuses   on   the   kos   duology   but   spans   the   whole   series. shipping   is   and   always   will   be   based   on   chemistry.   this   blog   is         LOW   ACTIVITY         and         private         (   MUTUALS   ONLY   ).         my   name   is         salem   (   he   / they   )         .   please   reach   out   with   any   questions.   

mainblog for @sanktmorozov

trust me when i say that i want to be here. i just don’t know how to like. get back back into writing.

svjetllost:

She assumes his reluctance might have to do with wanting to refuse her far too direct request for company. She wouldn’t be offended if he said no, even though she isn’t sure what had made her be so forward or seek out company, she does neither back home. Maybe it is the distance from her usual life that makes her bolder or gives her hope that here in this distant land she might be a bit more normal among people who know nothing of her.

She had not had any dreams of Mina, and while her dearest friend is still lost to her, and dreams are the only place where she can still find her, there is a part of her that is relieved that there is no connection here to that darkness and the hooks it has in her. Deep below the skin and muscle, engraved into bone. Other, different, bad, evil. She is all regardless of how much she prays. But he says yes, perhaps to be polite, Vanessa does not question it.

“ Yes, England. A country that seemed to be impossibly far away. Have you ever been? I’m afraid I haven’t seen much of the world, even though I would like to be more adventurous. I would like to see more of this country as well, I do hope I get the chance. ” The cold breeze swirls around them as they make their way, and she hopes under the weak light of the moon that the darkness that had stayed at bay will remain there, that she might finally get a reprieve.

THERE IS something melancholy about the girl , he decides . it’s in her eyes and the set of her shoulders . he can’t begin to guess what it is that weighs her down so ; he hardly knows her , but the curiosity is there nonetheless .

his head shakes . ❝ no i haven’t . i haven’t been many places on the far side of our world . it seems so … far away , in more ways than one . tell me - what is it like in england ? ❞

What is your heart made of?

WATER

A heart made of water, is one of unpredictability. It belongs to an adaptable owner, a relaxed mind. It may be cool, it may be warm. This heart is what many would call “chill”. Versatile in nature, stable in mind. It knows it’s abilities, and thus does not push farther than needed, unless forced. Despite it’s usually calm state, it’s wrath is one of a tsunami. It’s unforgiving, powerful, cold. Despite it’s unforgiving anger, if one survives that, they may see the calm after the storm. The stillness, and kindness of this heart.

tagged by: @oakthcrn
tagging: @demolitionsman / / @f1ameheir / / @magnefique / / @fadingbeats / / @obrechenniye

starlsssankt:

There is a part of him–even now, even if the Darkling will not give it voice, will not remotely acknowledge its existence–that feels a slight… crack in the armor. The stone mask will not ever show it; Aleksander won’t let it, and he’s stubborn enough, spiteful enough, to hold that emotion back purely for that reason alone.

You are the monster in the dark.

Aleksander watches Nikolai, even if the other still stands with his back to him. The Darkling makes no movement–neither to step further away, or to step closer. What difference does it make at this point?

But he does, eventually, offer yet another shrug. A sigh, the exhale of breath one that carries so many unspoken words.

So many things Aleksander will never, ever let himself give voice to.

Especially now.

❝ I might be the monster, yes. I might have done the only thing that could have been done at the time, yes. But tell me, truthfully, do you see a flawless, uncorrupted hero as you look in that mirror? ❞ Aleksander looks pointedly at Nikolai then; he cannot dwell on the past, on what they–

On what they were.

On what they could have been.

On the what ifs.

He can’t. And he won’t.

❝ Do not lie to yourself and pretend the darkness has not claimed you just as much. ❞

HE CAN feel it - the way they both want to hurt the other . they’ve given up on making the other see , so they’ll settle on making the other REGRET instead .

the sound that comes from nikolai is far too derisive to be called a laugh . a hero , aleksander says . to an extent ? maybe . but flawless ? UNCORRUPTED ? the demon in his chest stirs restlessly , just like he’s sure aleksander meant it to .

there’s the slightest of quirks on nikolai’s lips at aleksander’s particular choice of words but there’s little actual amusement in the expression .

❝ hm . i suppose it has , ❞ he murmurs quietly . ❝ but isn’t that what you think ravka has always needed ? ❞ he turns quarter way , head facing the other man . ❝ maybe i’m not the sparkling second - son - turned -brave - king they all think i am . but then - - - i never was , was i ? surely you haven’t forgotten . ❞ it’s the closest he’ll come to actually bringing it up , this beast of a past between them .

starlsssankt:

Aleksander doesn’t immediately respond, even as he looks over at Nikolai. There are words that could be said, obvious ones. The option has always been there, as a last resort. Because Aleksander knows once that particular line gets crossed, there is no undoing it.

No going back. It truly would be the point of no return.

He just looks at Nikolai, as if Aleksander can read every thought running through the prince’s mind. As if the solution is right there, even if he isn’t going to verbalize it.

Yet.

While Nikolai might not be the first-born son… it doesn’t mean he can’t inherit the throne if some tragedy befell his brother.

Some… unfortunate accident that took the heir…

Aleksander weighs just how far he can push things, though. Can such whispers be uttered, or shall they remain only as those silent what if thoughts, the last resort emergency option that he’s not quite ready to resort to…

Because while their conversation might be treading the line of treason currently, to voice the potential death of Vasily, well…

That would be outright obliterating that line.

❝ I doubt we will come to a conclusion tonight, Nikolai. We’ve circled this problem for years… ❞ Even if every single one seems only to grow longer, weigh on him just a bit more heavily.

ALEKSANDER’S SILENCE speaks far louder than anything the man had said before . he knows what he’s thinking . it’s standing right there in the middle of the room , quiet and grotesque , whispering promises and assurances . you could do it . the country would be better for it . he’s hardly a good man anyway . he could never lead like you could . he’s tried to kill you before , hasn’t he ? at least this would be for the GREATER GOOD .

nikolai stands , having only just heard the tail end of aleksander’s words . ❝ yes , ❞ he agrees perhaps too readily . his eyes clear as his gaze rests on the other . ❝ yes , ❞ he says again , softer this time . now he smiles , and perhaps it’s genuine , maybe it’s a freshly made layer of armor , but either way he steps toward aleksander , hands going from forearms down to his hands .

❝ there’s little we can do about it tonight . ❞ his head tilts , a small smirk . ❝ and there are certainly other far more enjoyable things we could be doing . ❞

emziess:

Jack Lowden at the BIFA awards

korzion:

“You are in a difficult position, Your Majesty,” Rhaenys acknowledges with a bow of her silver head. “It is never good for a sovereign to be viewed as merely human, but sometimes it becomes all too clear regardless of all attempts to disguise the fact.”

She thought of Nikolai’s father, of his grandfather, both who she had served under as a commander in the Second Army. Well, in theory-the fact was that she had always been serving the Darkling with his contrary aims, but she didn’t like to think about it. Not now.

“But perhaps there is a way we can keep the Queen, the Sun Summoner, the Tailor, and the Durast protected without calling attention to the fact that you are worried about protecting them. Moi tsarina and our Sankta Alina could be sent as envoys to another land. It would be expected for them to be heavily guarded. Genya and David could accompany them. Or, if sending them all together would look too suspicious, we can send the latter two on a different kind of mission.”

AH . SO she doesn’t expect them to survive this either . there’s some reassurance , he supposes , in knowing he’s not overly paranoid . that’s about where the reassurances end , though .

❝ shouldn’t you be telling me to run too ? as the king , save myself ? ❞ it’s a dark attempt at a joke . he knows she’d never suggest it , and he’s sure she knows he’d never go .

the joke doesn’t quite do it’s job and , with a sigh , nikolai’s heavy eyes slide back to the war table . the image it casts is grim . ❝ zoya will never go , ❞ he says , something almost like a CHILDISH GRUMBLE heard in his voice . ❝ she’d see right through me . genya might , if i could guarantee david’s safety. she’s given enough of herself serving a lantsov . i think there’d be some relief in me sending her away . ❞

he fingers the small sun that marks alina . ❝ alina … i don’t know , ❞ he admits . ❝ she’s always been hard for me to guess . she might want to break her sabbatical to help us fight . what i would instead bet on , though , would be that she’s going to stay at her orphanage in keremzin and make sure nothing touches the children she protects there . ❝

his head lifts . ❝ and for our part - ❞ he offers her a grin , ❝ - we die like heroes . ❞

unbeleveable-aa:

#UNBELEVEABLE multi-fandom multi-muse ft: Farah Dowling from Fate: The Winx Saga among several others from various fandoms including Agatha All Along, A Court of Thorns and Roses, House of the Dragon, and Wicked.

promo credit ( x )

im back from wasteland and mostly alive lol. i still have some commissions to do, but i wanna focus on some writing before i get those done! so i’m back baby!

oakthcrn-a:

@korolnichevoya and I were talking about height differences. I had to draw Nikolai and Lark, the tol and smol.