Now see, this really pisses me off (the “kids are resilient” thing, not your response to it) because there has been study after study about what actually happens!!!

If the kid receives support during/after the traumatic event, they get stronger.

If the kid does not receive support during/after the traumatic event, they get fucked up.

True resilience in kids has ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS been the result of the support they receive.

i do therapy with teenagers. and...yeah. i have teenagers who's parents are amazing. and i have some who's...fucking...arent. and my GOD the difference. the ones whose parents are good have so much bounce it is INSANE. the ones who dont are so riddled with damage i want to wrap them in bubble wrap. here's the fun thing tho - the ones who dont? get better when you take care of them. i am literally watching it happen. like...if you take care of a traumatized kid? they fucking heal. they heal and gain resilliance right in front of you, like magic. is it as good as it could be if they got it from the start? no of course not. but is it still a miraculous amount of repair and strength? WOW YES! and adults can heal too! so dont ever think its too late to recover or that the support you get is cheating, its not! its part of what all kids, and you need to heal!