Update from the man himself
The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.
Also this.
Which led him to this.
Bless this man.
I can appreciate him and the service he’s providing independently of the shitshow that is the platform he’s hosted on.
He remains just as funny and weird on other platforms dw
By the way, the topic he was presenting was
‘Can I get an Honorary Degree if I Just Ask Really Nicely’
I already posted the Fakies I found in the wild this week, now for the ones I found online!
Found Online
1. “The Princess Pony Myths” set
2. “My Little Dolly” figurines
3. Potato-quality product photo of a “Cute Pony” set
4. “My Horse Little” set (“LET CHILDREN IMPROVE THEIR HANDS-ON LEARNING”)
5. “My Little Poey” kitchen set
6. “Fun toys neddy” set with a 1980s-looking pony and a more modern-looking baby (I’m not actually an MLP fan, so the correct terms escape me)
7. “My Pony Lovely” set
8. “JLJM” set (“HAPPY To come with me to play, happy every day!”
9. “Lovely Horse” set (“lovely is in her makeup”)
10. “My Little [Chinese Characters My Phone’s OCR Can’t Figure Out Here]” set (“友情之光/The Light of Friendship”)
why are time loops always only like 1 day long?
the real horror is a months or years long time loop. no speedrunning your torture here. you have to sit with the consequences of your actions for a loooong time before the release of knowing the consequences and actions have been erased.
but oh, all the actions and consequences are gone. those relationships you built? empty. you can never build them again without the constant guilt of knowing that it's not as real the second, third, thirtieth time when you already know all their secrets and they none of yours.
but you can't hide. you can't isolate yourself because what if this is the time the loop breaks and then what? years gone by of missed chances with people who have changed you a thousand times and now circumstances have changed. you can never build back what was washed away by your own inaction. they'll never be able to meet you like they did the first time if you don't choose to meet them the first time every time
Official Time Loop Post
I desperately wish people would start actually reading the AO3's TOS before confidently making 'user guides' to the AO3 that are just blatantly, flatly wrong.
Yes the AO3 has banned content. They do not allow anything that's illegal under US law - though US law, importantly, does not ban fictional depictions of things - and they do not allow any commercial content. That includes your ko-fi link, or mentions that you do fic commissions. If you do post fic commissions to AO3 and want to mention the commissioner, the fic is a 'request' from the commissioner. This protects the AO3 and you from copyright law.
No the AO3 is not 'a creative fanfiction archive'. It is a fandom archive. Your meta, insights, and theories are absolutely welcome and encouraged there. AO3 also encourages you to post other types of fanworks, like fan videos, podfics, and art, but unfortunately isn't able to natively host those like it does text, so fic has kind of become what it's known for. That absolutely does not mean that other types of fanwork aren't allowed, or are discouraged by the site culture! Anybody who tells you otherwise is just plain wrong!
And another thing:
IT’S AN ARCHIVE - A STORAGE SPACE
THERE IS NO ALGORITHM
IT’S A LIBRARY, NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA SITE
So… (sigh) TAG YOUR FICS APPROPRIATELY AND PEOPLE WILL FIND YOUR STUFF.
That’s it.
just gonna say it, squidward was right about everything
look spongebob is a terrible neighbor and an exhausting person. no one should have to suffer patrick star's lifelong dedication to ignorance & imperviousness to logic. put them in the same room and that's an automatic noise ordinance infraction (plus inevitably public property damage). they are lowkey domestic terrorists. squidward is a grump and a snob but at the end of the day he's a burntnout service worker with a shitty boss who just wants some peace and quiet during his downtime. he asks for so little honestly. all the other characters should be in jail
i spoke to a music business person and they said i should try to stay relevant by posting things that seem intimate yet relatable to fans in a way that makes them feel like we're connecting on a deep level, so just letting you guys know i did a really good cum yesterday hope that makes you stream my song <3
I think he likes it
I really feel like the posts by bigfoots biggest fan speak to me. They like to cum, I like to cum too!
They are so relatable, I really want to listen to more of their music now!
Yay, thankyou! Survey to help prove to the music executives how much people love Bigfoot's Biggest Fan and/or cumming:
Do u sometimes like to cum and/or listen to bigfoots biggest fan's music?
Yes
No
I will investigate and report back
We assume this is what the Prime Minister was talking about today when he said the nation will be heading to the polls
still better than Murdoch
Reminder that if you're learning about the election from the cum poll, don't forget to register to vote https://www.aec.gov.au/enrol/
pov: trying to enjoy slurs on mobile after reading about bigfoot’s biggest fan’s biggest cum
Well, this election's off to about a good a start as we should have expected
can we reintroduce “disturbing” back into the popular lexicon in place of most uses of “traumatizing”
“This experience puts me in a worse mental state and my well-being will be compromised…”
- Discomfort: “…until the stimulus is removed; there’s a chance I will have forgotten about this experience by tomorrow” (“I got rained on, I need a hot shower”)
- Distress: “…for the rest of the day, but probably no more than a week; I may require some level of care and social support to make it more bearable” (“I had to sleep in the freezing rain without shelter, I might need to take a few days off work”)
- Trauma: “…for months or years, potentially forever; this experience may have fundamentally changed part of who I am and I will need to dedicate time and resources towards recovery and healing” (“I lost some toes to frostbite and every time I see my feet I am reminded of the time I thought I would die”)
This is like unearthing an ancient artifact from a forgotten civilization
The civilization in question is still here and you live in it
no usamerican is able to imagine that other places exist. it is forbidden to them by Underfunded Education System, a unique ailment of the usamerican people. please be mindful they will become agitated when confronted about this, through no fault of their own of course; as another illness that affects only them is Bad Political System
Is this supposed to be satire? Because this is basically the card I carry around at all times.
how are you this unashamed lmfao
americans will see a post that points out how racist they are and go "omg literally meee ^_^"
#honestly I think a gigantic amount of them (specially on this website) think “doesn’t know other countries exist” is a fun quirky trait#like a romcom protagonist who’s a little clumsy#I cannot emphasize enough how this not the case#you’re not being cute you’re being xenophobic or racist#not to mention extremely rude#you know when you’re little and you don’t get a joke and your mom goes “it’s ok sweetie they’re laughing with you and not at you”?#this is the exact opposite situation#people are either super offended or laughing at you in the worst way possible
@imperfectlibrarian's tags
no usamerican is able to imagine that other places exist. it is forbidden to them by Underfunded Education System, a unique ailment of the usamerican people. please be mindful they will become agitated when confronted about this, through no fault of their own of course; as another illness that affects only them is Bad Political System
Is this supposed to be satire? Because this is basically the card I carry around at all times.
how are you this unashamed lmfao
americans will see a post that points out how racist they are and go "omg literally meee ^_^"
I don’t think it’s racism so much as that we don’t meet people from other countries much. Like my closest neighbor country wise is several hundred miles south, so yeah. Meanwhile Europeans can drive for like a few hours and be a country or two over. Also, considering the main example of this is typically Europe, the racism card doesn’t really work :/ xenophobia yes, but not racism. It’s mostly Europeans who are racist against Europeans
Some countries in the world aren't the USA or in Europe.
me when i cant comprehend that different continents have different animals
the rest of the paragraph that was cut out in that screenshot literally explains the reasons behind the easter bilby and bluntly theyre minimising the impact that wild rabbits have had as an introduced species in our ecosystem.
the easter bibly was an ingenious campaign that builds in social awareness and change to an ongoing annual tradition without detracting from what that tradition represents. the choice behind it was intentional
saying Australians "don't like bunnies" because of ecological damage is like saying Americans "don't like rabies" because of the health risks. They're a major problem and the Easter Bilby rules.
Rise of the Guardians lied to us 😔 Shameless Aussie Bunny propaganda
We deliberately introduced a virus and tried to built a massive rabbit-proof fence across our country, border wall style, to hold these fuckers back.
The sheer level of ecological damage they cause is incalculable. They're one of the reasons (although to be fair, not the only reason; agriculture is also a big problem) that the bilbies are endangered in the first place.
Australia doesn't have as strong a rural hunting culture as the USA. There are of course hunters, who get their licenses and participate in culls and pay attention to the hunting seasons, but on the whole there are large rural areas where it's not really a thing . EXCEPT for foxes and rabbits. I grew up on a farm and every farmer I knew knew how to shoot, specifically to go out on the weekends with the jack russel terriers and shoot foxes and rabbits. Everyone owned multiple guns and that was literally the only reason. Some of them would keep the fox pelts and a few of them occasionally ate rabbit meat but most of the time they just gave the corpses to the dogs or disposed of them. It wasn't about food and fur, it was a moral duty. Pest control. As much a part of their job as herding sheep or mending fences. An attempt to at least temporarily keep the fuckers back.
Rabbits are a plague on this country and nobody but the most narrowminded city slicker would hesitate to wish every feral rabbit dead. We all wish myxo had worked.
"my closest neighbour country is a hundred miles south so that's why i never think about them uwu" cry me a river i'm australian and we care about the existence of other countries just fine
I know, it’s so fucking tiring. And they can never see that automatically assuming that the entire world is either Europe or the USA is them demonstrating the actual fucking problem. “Oh we’re so big and spread out with big distances between places, oh we’re so isolated, oh our education system sucks, oh our government is uniquely bad” THE USA IS MEDIOCRE IN ALL OF THOSE THINGS. STOP PRETENDING TO BE SPECIAL AND MAKING EXCUSES. YOUR INTERNET IS SO SO FUCKING GOOD, SHUT UP AND USE IT TO LEARN SOMETHING.
What is this, 1671?
Yep. Here's another piece on the same raid.
Also here's some screen grabs from Instagram of the events in question.
"I had choice paralysis :(" is a KILLER line.
He's such a comedic powerhouse, I'm glad more people are getting exposed to him :'D