man, these gay polycules really get to me. all teary eyed n shit. ha, just joshing, but this was really, REALLY my type of movie. christmasy, but it’s not reeeaaalllyyy a christmas movie. it is, then it isn’t, then it is again. and this CAST. kristy swanson is so hot and here she’s all slutty and cunty and so so so so sexy. theres something about shitty 90s garb about filmmaking that tickle me pink. the budget was spent on ron perlman’s red wig and swanson’s lacey black bra btw, that’s a fact. wink. and the butler did it, <3. wait.. when did a butler even come into this?!?!

“this is his.. lair.. this hannibal lecter guy. max, put that down, we’re going. max! put that down! we’re going. maaaaaaaax, put that down we’re GOING!”