Venom 2 is a total mess, and the ridiculously shoddy and slapdashed intro sequence nearly made me give up straight away. The villains (and sadly, Carnage) are not interesting at all, the cuts, edits and scene lengths feel awkwardly cut off and rushed one after the other, the rules of how the symbiote works are changed on the fly and it DEFINITELY should have been more gory and visceral. However, against my better judgement, I enjoyed Venom 2 FAR more than I didn’t. It’s a quick and visually spectacular 90 minute burst of adrenaline that doesn’t overstay its welcome and is surprisingly funny in plenty of places; with Eddie Brock/Venom alone elevating the movie entirely alone with their charmingly petty back-and-forth that is far more funny than the original and wittier than it had any right to be.

This is easily some of the most fun I’ve had in a ‘not-very-good’ movie, and rating it even half a star lower suggests I liked it and disliked it in equal measure….which is not true. I’m sorry, internet. This was a good time for me. And that post-credits scene? Fuck yes.