I love that Netflix UK is giving new life to films that have been long forgotten and, in some cases, not even properly distributed ever. I mean, B Monkey, man. B Monkey. Where is B Monkey from? What is this film? The cast is amazing. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Asia Argento. Jared Harris. Rupert Everett. The tagline says it's a "wild rollercoaster ride of thrills" and yet, in the 15 years since it was made, it's not been released in the UK ever as far as far as I can tell. I'd never even heard of it until Netflix came along. So it's cool that finally... we can see it.

Unfortunately, I didn't really like it. I don't even know what it was trying to be. It's part crime thriller without any real thrills and part bizarre low-ley kitchen sink drama about a guy who can't get an erection and then he can and then he wants to move to Yorkshire where he can be at peace. It's a slow, jumbled-up movie that feels long and pointless and like someone somewhere needs to write another draft of it. It reminds me of things I'd write when I was 14 - all smoky bars and entry-level jazz and femme fatales that love nerdy guys - but without the enthusiasm. It's quite a cold, lifeless "will this do?" script. There's something watchable about it, for sure (possibly just the aforementioned great cast), but overall B Monkey is a weird, curiously unsatisfying experience.