⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ a heart is a heavy burden

✧ ⠀⠀I'm a psychologist working in an IT company. I live in the city but I would love to be near the sea right now. I don't like coffee, humidity or waking up after 8 am. I like books, chocolate and watching the last rays of the sun in the afternoon.

⊹ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀tmblr ⊹

mood. ⸝⸝⸝ if you are feeling blue have a green day . summer mornings. looking forward to things. incredible anxious. sometimes gravely afraid. thinking that death must be dusk tinted and petrichor scented. currently bored of all my playlist. so thirsty I could swallow the sea and all it's hidden mountains. so hungry I could eat concret. trying to stay calm. I'm looking for a nice, luminous, tidy space.

in

• ⬚ · get a new job
• ⬚ · read at least 20 books
• ⬚ · finish my dissertation
• ⬚ · write something =)
• ⬚ · cook more
• ⬚ · follow a routine (weekly)
• ⬚ · learn how to make candles (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
• ⬚ · do at least 5 courses (◑_◑)

out

• ⬚ · doomscrolling
• ⬚ · bed rotting
• ⬚ · shopping as a way to cope with stress ಥ_ಥ
• ⬚ · being SO DRAMATIC

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ — 0 1.

• We have always lived in the castle, Shirley Jackson ♡
• The turn of the screw, Henry James
• The road, Cormac McCarthy ✧
• All my friends are dead, Avery Monsen & Jory John ✧
• Convenience store woman, Sayaka Murata ♡

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ — 0 2.

• The subtle art of not giving a fuck, Mark Manson
• The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, Douglas Adams
• Horns, Joe Hill ♡
• In the tall grass, Stephen King & Joe Hill
• I'm glad my mom died, Jennette Mccurdy ✧

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ — 0 3.

• Fishhead, Irving S. Cobb
• Camera obscura, Basil Copper
• A death in the family, Miriam Allen De Ford
• Men without bones, Gerald Kersh
• Not without a bang, Damon Knight
• Party games, John Burke
• X marks the pedwalk, Fritz Leiber

• squid game s2
• ratched
• king the land ↺
• euphoria s1
• ghosts (us ver.) s1, s2
• envidiosa s2
• apple cider vinegar
• cobra kai s6
• adolescence
• attack on titan s3 watching

dropped

• 01/10 | dahmer no interested tbh
• 01/09 | inventing anna so boring ;A;
• 02/00 | Sakamoto days not in the mood for animes tbh

want to watch

• pyramid game

jan.

• 25 35 min (legs), 7 min (arms)
• 26 35 min (arms)
• 27 6 min (stretch), walk (8.3k steps)
• 28 30 min (tabata)
• 29 10 min (stretch)
• 30 30 min (HIIT)
• 31 15 min (stretch)

feb.

• 01 walk (7.7k steps)
• 02 rest the day was too hot to do something
• 03 30 min (HIIT)
• 04 35 min (legs)
• 05 35 min (upper body)
• 06 rest
• 07 I was too lazy to move
• 08 25 min (abs/core)
• 09 30 min (HIIT)
• 10 30 min (HIIT with weights)
• 11 15 min (stretch)

• Paradise (2023) ✧
• The lobster (2015) ✧
• Ma (2019)
• All quiet on the western front (2022) dnf
• Yesterday (2019)
• Howl's moving castle (2004) ♡
• Nosferatu (2024) ✧
• Addams family values (1993) ♡
• Wicked (2024)
• Heretic (2024)
• The black phone (2021) ✧
• In the tall grass (2019)
• Elvis (2022)
• Annihilation (2018)
• Things heard & seen (2021)
• Skyscraper (2018)
• It's what's inside (2024) ✧
• I'm thinking of ending things (2020)
• Circle (2015) ✧
• A quiet place: day one (2024)

reading

• N
• The ki sisters (manhwa) ♡
• Spy x family ♡
• Mieruko-chan ♡
• Six people on crosses
• I wanted to be hurt by love
• Ingoshima / camgoroshi (prequel)
• Unaware that his majesty is a girl (manhua)
• Hwangyoung's misery (manhwa) ♡ ↺
• 100 ghost stories that will lead to my own death

no, there's nothing memorable to see here

january

• I yelled so much at someone who was reversing their car and hitting mine that I went down to knock on their rear window. When the owner of the car got out, it turned out to be a nun from my nephews' school! I had never gone from 100 to -10 in anger so quickly to say, "oh dear sister, I think you hit my car a little... but you didn't damage it." My family laughed at me for a whole week. (︶︹︺)
• At a friend's house, I spent 3 hours looking for a rat. The little thing kept going back and forth between her house and the neighbor's, who eventually got involved too so we spent a lot of time going from one house to the other omg ಥ_ಥ
• Someone complemented my water tank saying...

• The Pacific spiny lumpsucker (dango fish)
• Tibetan fox (badly drawn fox, sorry)
• Nictibio urutaú (cacuy!!)
• Myobatrachus gouldii (turtle frog)

Aren't I the worst? Sometimes I fear that I don't know how to stop. It's weird and sad to be honest about this

• isolating myself/avoidant behaviour
• picking at my skin (lips the most)
• use (consciously) exercise to procastinate important tasks that need to be done
• daydreaming and not doing anything to sublimate it
• staying in bed/thinking of going to bed when my head feels heavy
• overdoing shopping therapy
• staying inside when I could go out
• too much sex
• punishing myself with "spending my free time doing things I enjoy but feeling not joy at all" for not doing what I need to do before
• self sabotage: with too much sleep, with too little sleep, with eating too much, with eating too little...

• generation , triples
• lettuce , f5ve
• mood ring , yoonha verse
• strawberry kisses , bébe yana
• signs , iiso
• icarus , serin oh
• arcade love , lynxcats
• divine , pony
• night aviation , gwsn
• heavy cloud but no rain , gwsn
• is this love , xg

• adore, paramore
• puente, gustavo cerati
• josephine, chris rea
• your song, elton john
• show me how, foo fighters
• northern downpour, p!atd
• cosmic love, florence & the machine
• little house, amanda seyfried
• somewhere we only know, keane
• coldplay, lizzo
• invisible string, taylor swift

• detox, one ok rock
• amortage, jisoo
• alter ego, lisa
• ruby, jennie
• mayhem, lady gaga
• uncut gem, kiikii

｡｡｡

Estamos en el 2025 y yo me dije a mi misma "intentemos ver más tele que no sea un reality guionado con gente que no tiene muchos problemas en su vida más que un follón o que no sea un programa de chimentos o el noticiero con los mismos tipos de crímenes diarios" y acá estamos.

Creo que no soy, o ya no soy, una persona de ver muchas series. A veces muy casualmente veo algún listography cualquiera y veo que alguien lleva una cantidad bárbara de cosas vistas y yo digo "fua, ¿cómo?" y ya de solo verlo siento una extraña fatiga mental (porque no me puedo estar quieta viendo algo mucho tiempo). Pero felizmente cada uno es diferente.

Entonces, estoy intentando ver algunas series. Me di cuenta que me gusta ver las cosas muy tarde (2 am) o muy temprano (5 am). No se pero siento que las cosas no se disfrutan tanto como en esos horarios.

Primero, vi la segunda temporada de Squid...

• mbti: INTJ
• jung archetype: destroyer first , seeker second , sage third
• colorscope: boldness, cooperation, independent heart

• Game of thrones
• Riverdale
• Stranger things
• Breaking bad
• La casa de papel
• 13 reasons why
• Elite
• Greys anatomy
• This is us
• Euphoria

a list for those songs that hit the criteria of randomly stuck on my head first thing in the morning

f e b r u a r y

• 01 ⊹ fly me to the moon , bobby womack
• 02 ⊹ magnetic , illit
• 04 ⊹ money , lisa
• 05 ⊹ demon (is there?) , nico touches the walls
• 11 ⊹ here comes the sun , the beatles (very fitting for a rainy day!)
• 21 ⊹ hugs & kisses , jisoo
• 26 ⊹ beat beat , nmixx
• 27 ⊹ forest of skycrapers , neon bunny

j a n u a r y

• 01/01 ⊹ mira, lexie liu (heard that you found me, I don't know 众妙之门 玄之又玄 wanna come around me? come around)
• 02/01 ⊹ rrr, lexie liu (Is that how we like it? Come ride with me, follow or lead. No stop, cross that border. Ain’t no time wasted ain't no tim...

card captor sakura . naruto . one piece . evangelion . xxxholic. spy x family . pokemon. hunter x hunter. sailor moon. harry potter . twilight . lord of the rings . haruki murakami . junji ito . twice . fall out boy . babymetal. aespa. rosé . the boys . cobra kai . robbert eggers films. tom/zendaya. the simpsons . the powerpuff girls . futurama.

Porque leí El poder del perro, de Thomas Savage

Primero que nada, estoy absolutamente encabronada porque todo lo que había escrito se ha borrado. Y eso es porque como una idiota cerré accidentalmente la página cuando debía darle a guardar y yo misma me dije “ya está, le daré a guardar”. Pues no. Así que acá estamos.

Ahora estoy desganada con todas las letras y esto no va a tener el mismo nivel que la primera versión escrita ni va a ser tan extensa. Y esa primera versión ya era bastante ridícula e inteligible como la letra de un médico, así que, de mi para mí, lamento mucho esto. De verdad.

Este libro es una maravilla.

No tengo un criterio bien definido para decir porqué un libro se convierte en uno de mis favoritos. Cuando hay algo que me queda resonando mucho en la cabeza yo me digo que se convierte en un favorito y l...

I started bookmarking people :) ‧₊˚✧

Recently, while randomly browsing some accounts, to my surprise, I saw that some lovely users had bookmarked my listography (tbh I'm sorry that I don't make any particularly interesting lists). So I thought, why not do it too? I spent 5 minutes figuring out how to because, evidently, I don't have the eyes or the ability to detect an entire screen, so the "bookmark this user" option went unnoticed by me :D

If for some reason you read this and would like us to be mutuals (??? or whatever it's called here), you can leave me a private message here ˙˳ ⟡ ⁺ (\__/) People here seem so lovely and interesting that it's a shame that listography dissabled the option to leave messages :(

• i'm a lonely man
• what a misterious woman...
• there's a cat!
• such a fine ear...
• it just vanished
• I fear I'm being followed
• this jazz record is great
• the phone is ringing....
• I want to drink beer or whisky
• why can't I see your face?
• sex is a little weird...
• history is great and there was a war...
• cooking is nice
• is this another dimension?
• this is kind of magical but I won't ask

• here comes the sun playing first thing in the morning
• rainy days
• the feeling of a cat's fur
• chocolate and nuts and almonds
• peace of mind
• little miss sunshine vibes
• more non-fiction books
• osho's vision

ya he desperdiciado mi días ? !! drama

El viernes pasado salí de vacaciones y, tal como preveía en mi lista de qué quiero hacer en las vacaciones, me noté como una persona sin ambición de al menos hacer algo productivo de las mismas. Es casi como si no fuera productiva ni disfrutara ya sea en época de trabajo o en época de vacaciones. Se me van los días.

Yo pensaba que ahora mismo debería estar, no se, viendo algunas películas, leyendo algún manga equis de terror (porque es lo que diría se me puede antojar en este momento) o escribiendo, o volviendo a leer algún fanfic de Harry Potter o Crepúsculo... pero nada. Hasta me dije "voy a responder a este mensaje... voy a aprovechar para meterme en este grupo..." y nuevamente nada.

"Voy a...". Es triste pensar en "voy a..." y no accionar.

Lo dejo hasta acá por ahora (27.01)

• exangüe
• cieno
• intersticio
• ahíto
• linóleo
• crisma
• rala
• alcanforero
• cohombro
• belfo
• horadar
• atezado
• enhiesto
• estroboscópico
• afelio
• erial
• ipseidad

garage

• ◍ new roof
• ⭘ fixing the right wall

kitchen

• ⭘ faucet
• ⭘ sink
• ◍ refrigerator
• ⭘ custom-made cabinet
• ⭘ pantry

living room

• ⭘ new floor
• ⭘ bookshelf
• ⭘ table and chairs set
• ⭘ sofa

bedroom

• stationery: notebook, pen, highlighter, paper clips
• cosmetics: concealer, mascara, lipstick, lip gloss, lip balm, perfume, hand cream, deodorant
• electronics: earbuds, phone
• hydratation & snacks: reusable water bottle, snacks
• medical & hygiene: band aids, hair tie, sanitizing wipes, ibuprofen, mouth wash, hand sanitizer, toothbrush
• vision: glasses, eye drops

• nausea. the throat is fire and mud
• heavy breathing.
• dry mouth
• want to cry but I can't
• smile while thinking I'm an horrible person
• i'll lost my feet. literally. something will come and cut them off
• everything is unsafe and wrong
• something is trying to come out of my neck
• my mind is trying to run and it can't scream
• everything feels disgusting

?

because I am and I'm tired of it.

but how do you stop being sad? it's the same as asking: how do you stop being happy? it's not easy, right?

I want to dissappear. I'm just so hard to love.

I need help.

• ★ ★ ★ ★ ✰ The whale #IloveyouBrendan
• ★ ★ ★ ✰ ✰ Pearl #IMASTAAAAAAARRR
• ★ ★ ★ ★ ✰ Everything everywhere all at once aka in another life I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you
• ★ ★ ✰ ✰ ✰ Lamb omg what the fuck
• ★ ★ ★ ✰ ✰ Saint Maud well...
• ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ The lightouse one of the best movies of the century
• ★ ★ ★ ★ ✰ Midsommar :( but :D !!!
• ★ ★ ★ ½ ✰ Hereditary oh D: !
• ★ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ The killing of a sacred deer I lost two hours of my life and I want them back
• ★ ★ ★ ✰ ✰ The blackcoat's daughter I really liked the ending
• ★ ★ ★ ★ ½ The witch YES!!
• ★ ★ ★ ✰ ✰ Dark places the book is worth a read!
• ★ ★ ★ ★ ✰ Ex machina I loved this movie tbh
• ★ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ Men omg this was terrible
• ★ ★ ★ ✰ ✰ The lobster 2nd part was pretty dull but overall it was a fun film :)
• ★ ★ ★ ✰ ✰ Heretic I liked it for the most part. I liked that the ending follows the premise of belief/disbelief that is presented throughout...

sometimes some words appear completely alone ✧ for no reason ✧ and I'm like "ok, what's the point?"

• alfeizar
• xiuxiugen
• shara
• maelstrom
• bratja
• straw

╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯

• Path of the wind ✰ My neighbor Totoro
• Merry go round of life ✰ Howl's moving castle
• One summer's day ✰ Spirited away
• Carrying you ✰ Castle in the sky
• Ponyo on the cliff by the sea ✰ Ponyo
• A town with an ocean view ✰ Kiki's delivery service
• The bygone days ✰ Porco Rosso
• Tales of ashitaka ✰ Princess Mononoke

Horrendous.

I really enjoyed the first season. While Victoria was extreme in her reactions/attitudes, she was fun, had an understable reason to be/act hurt, seemed to have some moments where she understood she was in the wrong and some where one really thought she wanted to improve. I found her relationship with Matías lovely (the scene were they dance and are just having fun at the wedding is precious) and full of good vibes. Overall, the first season was fun but had some emotional moments.

Second season is atrocious. Victoria is absolutely unbearable and a complete scumbag. She's a shitty friend, a shitty girlfriend, even a shitty lover, etc, to the level I'm surprised she has friends, her family still stands her, doesn't lose her job and Matias/Daniel are still in love with her. She shows herself as rude, spoiled, entitled, full-of-herself and inmatur...

❥

• phobos
• deimos
• europa
• ganymede
• callisto
• pasiphae
• carpo
• cyllene
• ersa
• fenrir
• angrboda
• cressida

• feeling pretty sad, I don't have any strenght to finish my dissertation ⊙︿⊙
• frustrated with work, my pay is so low!! ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ
• I want to write my own trashy novel (why? there's no why)
• constantly in the mood of saying to myself damn bitch, u wanna live like this?? *does nothing to change it*
• Slowly reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I noticed that I am very slow reading physical books! (◑_◑)
• Greatly enjoying the manhwa The Kim sisters
• I've been going out for walks lately (/•ิ_•ิ)/
• I'm so unstable. I don't know why I have such an unstable personality.

╭⋆ time flows in strange ways on sundays ⋆╯

• I usually stay in bed till 12 pm
• I don't eat on sundays, or if I do I have a small meal. And sometimes, just sometimes, it may be my "big junk food day"
• I change sheets and towels
• Do the laundry if I didn't do it on saturday
• Look through the weather forecast
• Prepare my clothes for monday (gym + work attire)
• Clean my desk for work
• Decide what workout I will do the following day
• Watch a movie/show (sometimes read some manga)

Desde el 2021 que no hago un rewind, pero ya que volví a usar listography ✧ amerita ✧ que lo haga. Es distinto al rewind del 2021, pero ya pensaré un mejor formato para el 2025 (o volveré al del 2021 que era medianamente ordenado)

• F a v o r i t o s

Mi fandom principal: Estuve muy metida con Spy x Family. Sacando a los simps de Yor, la comunidad es muy bonita y me encantó comentar con los demás los capítulos. También hago mención especial al de Six people on crosses porque el odio/hastío compartido de todos con algo que no se puede dejar de ver es maravilloso.

La película que más me haya gustado: #nottobethatperson pero The substance fue espectacular!

El mejor libro que haya leído: La verdad es que tuve varios que me gustaron: Matar a un ruiseñor, 100 años de soledad, Noche eterna, El poder del perro...