Word Count: 2001
Pairings: Logicality/Prinxiety
Summary: The factions are tearing themselves apart, so Thomas feels like they’d need a therapist to make things better.
Warnings: Self-deprecating thoughts, snuggles, and a bit of angst so early in the morning. If there are any others please tell me
Part 5
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There was no one who could even possibly try to figure him out. Nobody who wanted to. Nobody who even wanted to try. They’d never understand, and it ate away at his ever aching heart…the heart that was shrunken and fragile. Needed protection. The heart that had no strength, so he did everything he could to build up his walls, push everyone away, even if…you know. Whatever. That wasn’t happening….none of this was happening…emotions and thoughts were all made up anyway. None of this was real. What was the point of existing? All he caused was trouble for Thomas.
After all, he was too damp for a spark.
A dark mess.
A literal mess.
None of them wanted to understand. To learn. To see just how he really was.
He wasn’t always the bad guy…he didn’t want to be.
He wasn’t just Anxiety. He was…he was….he had to have another purpose.
Yet here he was, lying next to….Roman.
In his room.
In his bed.
Accepted. Trusted.
Being the creative one, that meant his room was a literal dreamland. Normally Anxiety kicked in because he was a realist not a dreamer, but it felt so good to lie in warmth and to just let go. Let go of what he held back, to just sigh and take a breath. Relief. It felt so…invigorating. Yet he was also relaxed, so it was all a huge conundrum he wanted to think about less. Last night was the best sleep he had gotten in…well…ever. This mess he was…felt content in the moment. As he gazed at the sleeping prince, he was quiet. Content. At peace. Free. For once, Princey wasn’t stressed, and as Virgil kept his eyes on him, he felt a rattle in his chest he didn’t quite expect. Princey was cuter when he wasn’t gabbing away. He was much better to deal with while he was asleep. Soft healthy skin, a strong composure, soft lips….ew Virgil what was that?
Gross.
Whatever this feeling was it was gross. He felt a gag hit the back of his throat.
He turned away to stare up at the ceiling, the sunlight gleaming through the tall windows and cascading red curtains. Even his room was just as intense as him. Huh. Wasn’t hard to believe, but Virgil couldn’t imagine anything more intense than him. Roman was the embodiment of fiery passion, and Patton helped with that a lot. His dreams and romantic thoughts.o have such confidence and freedom over emotions. Sounded stressful.
There was a loud yawn at his side, his body jumping as his anxiety flared up. Oh god what was he going to say? Would he be mad? Virgil didn’t even remember how they got there. All he remembered was crawling up next to Roman while they were watching Steven Universe, and by then everyone was asleep. He had a lot of weird dreams, most of them with the man beside him, but it was odd because Princey was always on his mind, but it was mostly nightmares over how he truly felt about the anxious side. This time they were…they were different…and it scared him further but not like this. This was real.
“Virgil?”
He tilted his head back to see eyes filled with disbelief and astonishment…which was odd because no one ever looked at him that way. There was no fear just…surprise? He couldn’t speak, this was all way too much for him. Neither of them appeared to be angry, which…oh….but why not? Shouldn’t they be angry? Virgil didn’t want to be…he just wanted to be calm and carefree. Roman wasn’t usually into that, but with them lying together in…in…this huge ass bed…but the same bed no less-VIRGIL STOP!
“Hey uh…how did you sleep?” Roman whispered, visibly somewhat uncomfortable but still tired.
“Better, surprisingly,” Virgil mumbled, half asleep still.
“That’s good.”
There was silence…awkward silence…but the prince groveled faster than him.
“Hey um…I’m sorry I couldn’t carry you into your room I…I don’t think I could have done that again while being half asleep.”
The argument didn’t make sense, but Virgil wasn’t bothered by being there, so he didn’t comment on it. “It’s fine but, I’m surprised we’re here in yours.”
A sheepish smile crept across his lips, “Yeah uh…the other two took up most of the couch so…you know how Logan is.”
His eyebrows knit together under his bangs, “I don’t actually.”
“He’s a cuddler in his sleep. Poor Specs can’t help it.”
Patton was probably dying downstairs, and the thought made Virgil snicker. The father figure loved hugs, and he was way too obvious with his feelings for the nerd…even though Roman and Logan were totally oblivious. Virgil wondered when the two would start becoming a thing. Then again, Logan was probably the only one who could make things worse. Ignorant to others emotions, strict. And yeah Patton was understanding and extremely patient, but everyone has their breaking points. He didn’t think he’d ever want to see his.
Eyes scanned the body beside him, and thoughts roamed the plains of his mind. Waking up to this wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. Romano still got on his nerves, but since ‘Moving On,’ their relationship wasn’t as rocky. Sure they still fought occasionally, like they did yesterday, but it was a lot worse in the past. The nicknames were still creative, but they weren’t as negative as they were before. And it wasn’t just Roman either, the other sides have been steadily accepting him for who he was, and it felt really nice.
He just didn’t know why he felt so uneasy.
So nervous and scared.
And it was constant…until now.
Thomas was doing just fine. He was ahead of schedule, he didn’t have any recurring crises, and Joan was still visiting for the weekend, so what could be going on?
“Do you hate me again?”
It was sudden, and the heavy shame washed over Virgil for speaking the question out loud. Bringing his woes into reality. Making them exist in others besides himself. He didn’t try to it just kind of…slipped. The worrywart didn’t like appearing as such, but he always overly cared about stupid things like that. Why did he say something so…so dumb? After everything being built back up, even with everyone’s hurt flaring up, it shouldn’t…..it shouldn’t matter…and he knew Roman was making an effort and he was making an effort too it just…he still worried. He couldn’t help it.
“Of course I don’t,” Roman breathed, twisting his body so he could properly give Virgil his full attention, his top half completely exposed, “Sure we go against each other a lot, and we both really want what’s best for Thomas, and we view that differently so it causes fights…but I don’t hate you. None of us do. If anyone hated you I’d fight them with all of my might!”
Virgil grumbled and pulled the covers over his head, hoping the other didn’t see his reddening face and burning embarrassment, “Agh what’s up with you all of a sudden? Getting all…ugh.”
Roman’s airy chuckle was like music to his ears, “Alright Virgilescence, don’t suffocate yourself in my bed. That’s not healthy.”
His face wasn’t recovering. If anything it spiked. Evanescence was his favorite band, and Roman he just…h-he just…used his name…with it….oh…it was awful. But his heart thought it was the best name he ever called him.
“Ugh you’re being ridiculous.”
Fight or Flight instincts kicked in, saving him from the awkward exchange to flee back into his room. Dashing through the hall, he ignored the calls after him. He needed time to himself. This was all just so…stressful? No Roman was just trying to get him to open up….and he wasn’t opposed to it he was just really…scared? Scared. Afraid. What if Roman hated him afterwards? What if he hated him for running away? Pain rolled in his stomach, and all he wanted to do was hide in his room for the rest of the day.
His attempt was futile, of course.
After a few moments of getting himself dressed in new clothes and curling into his favorite corner, a frantic knock immited itself from his door.
“Virgil, may I enter?”
“That wouldn’t be a good-”
Without a moment’s notice, Princey let himself into the darkness, immediately ignoring everything but Virgil. “I’m so sorry I tried to be positive because Evanescence was your favorite band, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable in any way, I’m sorry I didn’t mean for it to be bad.”
“It wasn’t bad…” he sighed, “I just didn’t expect it.”
“Okay good because I’m really trying here.”
A soft smile graced Anxiety’s lips, “I noticed.”
…
Back downstairs they went, and by then the other two were off the couch. Something was off. Virgil didn’t know what, but something was definitely off. A glance at Roman confirmed his suspicions, especially since the other was typically aloof to these typical situations. If he knew something was wrong, then something was incredibly wrong.
In the kitchen, Patton was making a breakfast for kings. Eggs, bacon, waffles…but that wasn’t what caught the dark side off guard. No, his usual smile was nonexistent, and he looked a tad bit uncomfortable. Red cheeks. Huh. Virgil sat beside Logan at the table, who was nose deep in the newspaper, or so he appeared to be. Red cheeks. The frustrated expression hardened his face, but Virgil caught something else in his eyes. Embarrassment? Oh these two.
“Good morning!” Roman yawned, obviously trying to break the silence. Or maybe he was really that oblivious to the situation.
Morality followed suit, “Good morning! How did you sleep?”
The royal smirked at the emo nightmare, and said nightmare scowled at the memory, his own cheeks matching Logan’s. “Fine.”
“I slept fantabulously!” Princey laughed, yet it seemed so fake. Forced…even.
“Roman, how long did you sleep?”
Concern laced his usually agitated tone. “Beauty sleep” was almost always a top priority after all. Princey should have slept fine…unless it was all his fault. Maybe…maybe it was all his fault-
“I just haven’t been sleeping a lot lately. It’s nobody’s fault but my own.”
Warm eyes remained on his…h-how did he know? Was he that easy to read? Virgil had to work on that. If Princey was able to catch on, then he obviously wasn’t doing a good job at concealing his emotions. He had to admit, he was starting to get soft towards the royal. For whatever reason, he wasn’t being as obnoxious as he usually was. It…felt weird.
“So, um…Joan’s supposed to come back today,” Patton said, filling four plates with food.
“They’ll be present at noon,” Logan added, nodding his head with a small smile to Patton.
“Y-Yes they will.”
Twisting his lips into a smirk, Virgil crossed his arms and leaned against the chair he sat at, “What’s up with you two this morning?”
This paused Patton in his tracks, the last plate on the table. Panic, frantic, he saw right through him. Something was on his mind. And the way he kept glancing at Logan…was this about that cuddle thing Roman mentioned earlier?
“N-Nothing! Just uh…excuse me.”
Patton practically dashed down the hall, raced up the stairs, and slammed the door behind him. Eyes widened as they peered at Logan, who was pinching his nose, face bright red. Flustered. What was going on?
“Specs did you-”
“I swear I never meant to…gah I’m so foolish!”
Roman took the reigns, “Hey hey it’s alright. Explain from the beginning.”
Logan struggled to release any sort of breath, to create any sound. Yet he nodded, and with a lot of courage, shared his story.
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I’m considering making an Ao3 account and posting it on there so it could be easier for people to read who would prefer that. I’m very on the fence about it. Whatchu think? Also I’m gonna be writing other one-shots while this is going, and I started yet another series, so guess who’s gonna work overtime on these fanfictions? XD
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