My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “our American cousin” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw lord dundreary’s small vial of hair dye with the blue label and red sealing wax on the top

Mrs mountchessington, pacing: asa trenchard is lying to us

Pinned Post our American cousin now I’m imagining Laura Keene zonked out of her gourd onstage

broadwaydemigod

technofinch

"Adulting" is such a juvenile word we should give it a more dignified suffix. How about "Adultery"

fauvester

a-book-of-creatures

Actually it’s really easy to commission me for free. You suggest something for me to draw and if I ever feel like drawing it in the next 40-50 years I might. Think about drawing it.

murderballadeer

physicsgoblin

Everyone finds that one random unposed snapshot of their mother from 30 years ago where she is literally the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life

I can’t even get out of bed AND I’m on my period and I can’t stop bleeding and I’m having such horrible hot flashes and I can’t breathe

I can’t even leave my bed

I have never been more sick in my life

tristantzara

girljpg

me impatiently to the little french cat boiling me in a stew: chat am I cooked

this is the fucking worst

thicc-astronaut

thicc-astronaut

Dracula Abraham Lincoln be like "Four SCARE and seven FEARS ago"

mckinleygirl98

I thought Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter

murderballadeer

fossilizations

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done