cungadero:

the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

wispstalk:

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they’re always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I’m telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, “send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!” that’s u. u want to be that guy

tarantulapussy:

tarantulapussy:

the best porn i ever watched was about these two argentinian monks in a monastery during WW3 who witness the end of the world and then have sex in this candlelit stone grotto while nukes rain down outside and it was really emotionally earnest and played super straight i loved it. and like not just because i have a fetish

both of the monks have eyebrow piercings

7dmom:

7dmom:

I am so sorry you had a traumatic childhood and it made you stupid on line. I was raised as a lotus flower and I smell like vanilla all the time

I put your name on a beetle and let it die of thirst

priestessofnox:

catchymemes:

How to make ice cream in Alaska

sofy-tofy:

Where I can buy this?!? I need it-

pussypopstar:

I’m, above all else, a tangentgirl. always saying shit like “sidenote,” “oh also,” “by the way,”

pact-weapon:

leporellian:

we as a society need to talk about beanie baby crabs more

maudiemoods:

If life is a never ending loop of dirty dishes and laundry then that means life is a never ending loop of home cooked meals and comfy clean clothes

asiagomitten:

passionpeachy:

They never bring up bisexual boy with lame ass straight girlfriend. what about her