That poor pest control guy did not know what he was getting into, but given the state of my yard i feel like he should have known what he was getting into.

He was going door to door offering to spray the base of the house for pests for a discount rate because one of our neighbors signed up for pest control and he walked down my driveway (covered in spiderwebs), up onto my front porch (covered in spiderwebs), and knocked on my door (covered in spiderwebs) and said "hi, I'm John from the bug company, would you be interested in a discount service because it seems like you may have a spider problem."

And I said, "oh, no, I'm sorry, I won't be spraying for spiders, I like them. I want to encourage them."

And he gave me kind of a weird look and was like "why?" And I was honest and said that they were my pest control, they take care of my mosquitoes and and and flies, and then I kind of laughed and said that I should stop because I know way too much about spiders and if he let me go I'd talk his ear off.

And then he made his fatal mistake and asked what I knew about spiders, and if I knew what kinds of webs he'd walked past to get on the porch and what spiders were in my yard.

So then he got to hear my thoughts on brown vs black widows and why I wished there were as many black widows as there used to be but I had a big beautiful one under my patio table right now and even if I prefer black widows because they aren't invasive the same way that brown widows are i still like the brown widows and i had a lovely one who lived in my patio chair from August until the firestorm in January and she was so good and kept eating cockroaches and had made five big egg sacks and how I was so proud of her and I used to have a lot more orb weavers but their numbers never recovered after the tropical storm last year but I had a cute one on the shed that I took a picture of yesterday and of course there are tons of wolf spiders and jumping spiders and cellar spiders if you wanted to count them too and some false widows but I hadn't seen any of them this year and, well, yeah, anyway they're not actually dangerous mostly and widows want nothing to do with you but a bite wasn't pleasant but much better than a recluse bite but I almost never see recluses around here but i wouldn't, would I, because they're not called brown gregarious spiders, oh and there are black footed yellow sack spiders around and you don't want those to bite you but their little toes are so cute and I'm sorry, sorry, sorry like I said I can go off about spiders, but also I don't want to spray because I've got so many pollinators, I've got a whole wisteria vine full of carpenter bees, actually i saw a male valley carpenter bee last week, did you know they're golden and fuzzy? He was so cool! But, yes, sorry, I won't be spraying but thank you for asking, and I'm sorry I was the crazy spider lady at you!

ive said it before and ill say it again. some lichens are just like yeah i absorb automobile sealant residues while moving at 65 miles an hour and thats just is how it is when you live on a surface

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

for context, scientists have know about these mfs for like a HUNDRED YEARS but only now have they actually seen one ALIVE !!

Happy 413 you homestucks

Reviewing 1950s Nuclear Family Barbecuing Art

Notice how the wife is in the background waving for help before she plans to toss her son into the river, she wishes the husband would look at her, but the husband only cares for MEAT– pay attention to these themes for they will show up later.

wife is still in the background and MEAT is still in the foreground, but she is happy this time in her virginal white dress and all is right with the world. There son has yet to be tossed into the river.

TWO children now with a girl child learning to dispense not only MEAT but alcohol, the wife is in the background, but her smile is frozen and stiff on her face. She knows what the raggedy anne doll at the bottom knows.

everyone is so fucking HYPED for this new meat STICK– no longer limited to the round, finite circle. The father is the most excited of all. Watch as friend Tommy enters the scene from the background and the wife is now wearing pink instead of white. She will never return to her perfect unknowing ways.

1950s gay fucking panic. the circular meat is burning. the wife is wearing red. Jimmy and Tommy are going to go on a “fishing trip” and he won’t look her in the eye when they return. The other wife in white lives in ignorance, but not for long as DOUBT enters her expression.

the wife has finally taken center stage. She sets the table without looking at her husband who stands guiltily with his weird magic stick in the background. The daughter rushes away from her brother who has emerged from the river to hover across the ground and seek vengeance.

They are a broken family with only MEAT in the center left to remain.

being a fine arts student isn’t so hard.

the brother and sister in that last one is basically

Needs the last part

@heatandapathy you forgot the best part

you are never living this down

godawful post i made when i was 14. let me escape it please god

where can I meet this guy’s wife

How do these loser redit men get these incredibly talented and fascinating women lmao

THIS MAN’S GIRLFRIEND MADE HER OWN LOOM TO WEAVE PERIOD ACCURATE FABRIC AND HER ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO LEARN THE NAME OF THE CLOTHES SHE WAS MAKING WITH IT HOLY SHIT I AM LIVID

Ooh I hope she leaves his ass

I checked Reddit and there’s no update. I hope she dumped him.

i hope she’s dating something less embarassing

I have created a new creature. More powerful than any other. A species so masterful at stealing batteries, there is no equal.

Stephen Vollo (American) - Strainer, Paintings: Oil on Canvas on Panel

I used to have that exact strainer. It was in a box of hand-me-down kitchen things from my grandmother when I got my first apartment in 1996. It broke last year.

Anyway, this is a painting.

Just a short video of my card weaving in progress

What kind of sorcery is this?! I can never turn more than 10 cards in sequence because they just refuse to cooperate and you have like, what, 35? 40?! HOW?!?!

40 in the tree strap above! The most I ever tried was 44 for this ramshorn strap below - that was tough, but also ok because the groups turned separately? I think my hands would murder me if I tried to go any higher on my backstrap setup though ;) I think the trick is maintaining appropriate tension!

Yeah, that one looks real nice. What did you use it for?

@diamondot speaking for myself, i just decided to learn it one day a few years ago (i had a viking phase ok) and simply started with it. It's surprisingly easy since all the info is available on the net. Honestly, i don't remember where i started since it has been so long ago and now i just browse pinterest for patterns alone. Google tablet weaving or card weaving (same thing, different names) patterns and some basic explanations and yt vids for how to turn and weave the stuff. Things like

S and Z threading are there for a reason, so mind your card orientation. Start with some easy pattern like simple wave or diamonds above, 6 - 10 cards are good for your first project. Don't lose hope in initial stage. Streching and threading all that yarn can take anything between 20 minutes and 3 hours depending on how big is the pattern and how skilled you are. Since you need some lenghts to secure ends and to turn cards, use about 40 cm more than wished lenght of your final product. Secure lose ends after threading through cards so you won't end with a bundled mess. Streching/knotting them to something is one way. Taping each card threads together or using weights (check pictures below) is another way (good only for shorter stuff though). Cards could be made out of anything as long as they have smooth edges and rounded corners. Cardboard, thicker plastic sheet, literal cards cut into squares with holes punched through them, whatever. These are mine 2 decks, minus cards i am using atm.

When you start weaving and pattern looks like a total mess, try turning cards in opposite directions. It usualy solves the problem (all that forward/backward can be a bit tricky and mirroring motions/patterns/card orientation can be confusing at first seemingly messing all your work even though you are doing everything right technicaly, just in opposite order/direction). Don't lose your hope. I still manage to mess up like first 5cm of every other work i start. It's not an issue as that start usualy gets cut off anyway (the tension is not right for at least first 4 rows, aka 1 full card rotation, until all threads go up and down at least once no matter what you do. Don't sweat it). You don't need any fancy startup either. Historicaly, people used to weave like this and this and this:

I just strech the thing between 2 chairs myself. Door knobs work as well and so does staircase railing. Wherever you have some space. Long hair clips are your friend, especialy when you are done with weaving for the day and you don't want stuff to tangle

And that's about it. Have fun 😊

Some of my favorite tablet weaving resources are :

This website is where I learned, twenty years ago while u was intending on Sturtevant Wi.

These books are both great, Collingwood is more comprehensive, but harder to just pick up and weave from.

I love when people post things like this, then say, “ah ha ha, it’s not that complicated! 🤗”

It is complicated. You’re just really good at it!

Hi. I may be late to reply but i'm in a weaving mood so here we are.

The thing is that the technique looks complicated due to the fact that there is 100 something and that number alone is scary. But. Actually several buts.

But number 1 - the technique is OLD. Meaning - while being somewhat tedious just like any other textile craft, it has been used and learned for a long long time and there's plenty of resources (check out links above or any youtube video explaining the process) of varying difficulty from complicated af to easy peasy lemon squeezy with closed eyes

But number 2 - there is only one core principle/step you need to understand and that is when some threads go from up to down or from down to up (aka when they cross), you need another thread going in between so they won't simply snap back again. That's it. That's the basic principle behind every weaving ever. What card weaving does compared to standard weave is that instead of a single thread going up and down in the single row, you get 2 or 3 or 4 or 6 or whatever number of threads your pattern calls for in the same row

But number 3 - the number of rows = number of cards. Simple as that. Cards turn around to make a cord like when you are twisting 2 or 4 or whatever numbers of threads to make a rope. If some of those threads have different colours, you get a repeating pattern.

But number 4 - card orientation or S/Z orientation or whatever other fancy name for the twisting direction simply means that if you turn all your card in the same way at the same time, which one of them will make the twisted rope in this / angle and which one will do that in this \ angle. That's it. That's the whole mystery between S/Z threading.

But number 5 - you can start with as little as 4 cards to make a custom set of shoe laces or a key strap or whatever and call yourself a weaver. Because you did that. And it was nice. And it was easy. You just turn and thread and turn and thread and then you keep repeating this while watching a movie or something. There's no need for the math finals level of concentration here.

But number 5 - no one, literally NO ONE starts with a pattern like this

No. Everybody starts with something like this

Keep it simple, keep it easy, make 10cm and be done if you want to. It's perfectly fine.

But number 6 - you don't need any fancy items for starting. No hooks, no needles, no loom, no anything. If you have 2 balls of yarn in different color or some remains of your old cross stitch project or whatever and some card-like stuff you won't be sad for making holes in it, you are all set. Back side of the sketch pad is good. Poker cards cut to squares are good. A sturdy enough sheet of plastic is also good. You remember that old pexeso pairs stack you didn't touch since you were 9? Guess what!

My point is that if this looks like something you may be interested in, then you can absolutely try doing it for literally zero cost other than your time.

This reminds me that I have my Thor’s Hammer tablet weaving project still sitting in the closet untouched for the last few (almost 3?) years...  I need to get back to that eventually.

@cryptid-extremist found it for ya! Go wild!

@hauntedbyyarn you've talked about this for ages!

I need to show you guys my mum's card weaving.... She writes with it. She does incredibly incritate patterns. It's stunning and beautiful and I am in awe

A small selection of my mum's work! She got excited and says she has more to show you guys, and some of her best stuff has already been sold! But stay tuned for more. The blue/pink/black band is my favourite: loads of different knot-like patterns going all the way down!

Dragonfly mood

I would dearly love for more people to be capable of differentiating between public risk and personal risk.

Examples: drinking is a personal risk. Drinking and driving is a public risk. Going scuba diving is a personal risk. Running a scuba shop with faulty equipment is a public risk. Riding a bicycle without a helmet is a personal risk. Not maintaining public transport safety standards is a public risk. Foraging for mushrooms is a personal risk. Advertising a mushroom identification app that uses shoddy AI is a public risk. Elective surgery is a personal risk. Not wearing a mask in a doctor's waiting room when you are sick with a contagious illness is a public risk.

I could go on just about forever here. But it's a really important distinction and it drives me nuts when they get conflated, and it's so common.

"Your Liberty To Swing Your Fist Ends Just Where My Nose Begins"

a month ago i picked up a book on stage directing in my school’s black box and opened to a random page and it was something about making shakespearean actors rehearse by adding the word fuck to their lines to turn the archaic language into something familiar for the emotional resonance (of course taking it out as rehearsals move along to fix rhythm/etc but just to start off) and the example it gave was the solid flesh speech. like. iirc it was specifically “but two fucking months dead”

and like. im obsessed with this. as a concept. not even for acting i just think it’s so fucking funny. to be or not to be, that’s the fucking question. is this a fucking dagger i see before me. this is the excellent fuckery of the world -

What fucking fire is in mine ears? Here is my fucking butt.

“Press not a falling man too fucking far!” - Lord Chamberlain, Henry VIII, Act 3 scene 2

One of my absolute favourite things in the world is a ‘fuck run’. If the energy is too low, or the intensity is dropping the director might ask you to run a scene, or sometimes even the whole play, and insert ‘fuck’ or any of its derivatives wherever you feel the urge to. I have never experienced anything so quickly and ferociously liven a scene. It’s like a defibrillator. 

Once did the last half of Oedipus Rex as a ‘fuck run’ leading to such incredible double entendres as: ‘Oedipus, son, dear child, who motherfucking bore you’.

Other highlights from times I’ve either taken part or seen a fuck run:

“I would eat his heart in the fucking marketplace” ”I have, of late, though wherefore I know the fuck not, lost all my motherfucking mirth.” “Your royal father’s fucking murdered.” “Fuckfuckfuck. O, by fucking who?” ”Gentlemen, remember that I am a fucking ass” ”Why the fuck did you bring these fucking daggers from the place? They must lie fucking there! Fuck! Go fucking carry them, and smear the sleepy grooms with fucking blood” “Screw your courage the FUCKING sticking place and we’ll not fail”

and her child

I actually drew this for my mom, she likes the tarot stuff. I'm skeptical about it, but I can appreciate the good artistical aesthetic

and that's the bearded vulture of course, my beloved