Divine Schadenfreude
I'm gonna change my answer, in fact. This is my real job. Soothsayer, International Union of Soothsayers.
04/17/2025 is World Espresso Day 🇮🇹, National Bat Appreciation Day 🦇🇺🇸, National Cheeseball Day 🇺🇸, National Ellis Island Family History Day 🇺🇸, International Haiku Poetry Day 🇺🇸, National High Five Day ✋️🇺🇸, Maundy Thursday 🇬🇧, Malbec Day 🍷🇬🇧
04/16/2025 is Birthday of Queen Margrethe II 🇩🇰, World Voice Day 🌎, Banana Day 🍌🌎, National Eggs Benedict Day 🇺🇸, National Healthcare Decisions Day 🇺🇸, National Librarian Day 📚🇺🇸
Living in the USA has definitely radicalized me. It’s not me, it’s you. *refers to the government*
04/15/2025 is World Art Day 🎨🌎, National Lovers’ Day 🇰🇿, National Glazed Spiral Ham Day 🇺🇸, National Rubber Eraser Day 🇺🇸, National Take a Wild Guess Day 🇺🇸, National Titanic Remembrance Day 🇺🇸, National ASL Day 🇺🇸, National Tax Day 💸🇺🇸
“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
04/14/2025 is Mother Language Day 🇬🇪, Black Day 🇰🇷, National Dolphin Day 🐬🇺🇸, National Ex Spouse Day 🇺🇸, National Pan American Day 🇺🇸, National Pecan Day 🇺🇸, National Reach as High as You Can Day 🇺🇸, National That Sucks Day 🇺🇸, National Gardening Day 🌱🇺🇸
my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:
“this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours”
Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children.
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did.
WHAT THE FUCk
This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.
(via renee561)
My idea of The Highland Fling is I pay the most burly Scotsman to yeet me as far as he can into Loch Ness!
04/13/2025 is Palm Sunday 🌎, Passover Begins ✡️🌎, National Peach Cobbler Day 🇺🇸, National Scrabble Day 🇺🇸, National Thomas Jefferson Day (BOO!) 🇺🇸, National Borinqueneers Day 🇺🇸, National Volunteer Week 🇺🇸