my fav genre of fanfic is “ship i have not ever considered but the author is insane abt it in a way that intrigues me immensely”
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Anonymous said: Bro why did you censor the snake's cloaca on the snake anatomy post??? It's a snake? |
fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive:
I didn’t censor anything, what -
oh. Oh, no. That’s meant to be a line to show where the tail begins. Oh no, now I look like some weird prude.
Yeah, that’s meant to help people grasp the anatomy and visualize how small the tail is in relation to the torso. Not meant to be some kind of weird snake privacy screen
We CANNOT have snudity (snake nudity) on this webbed site
Gotta respect their snivacy (snake privacy)
not to be a killjoy but it’s still crazy to me that it’s considered mean to be like “maybe you should read / play / watch the source material before creating fanworks and diving into the fandom” bc every time i see somebody going “i havent played disco elysium or know anything about it tbh but uwu here’s harry and kim kissing” idk maybe you should engage with it. maybe you should play the anti-capitalist surrealist game where you investigate the murder of a mercenary who led the gang rape of a foreign girl and process that for a bit? and then you can do cutesy mlm or whatever idc. but like at the absolute bare minimum you should understand what the source material involves otherwise we get the phenomenon of people joining a dragon age server and wanting content warnings for like, mage racism. like it’s fine to ship and transform the genre into whatever but if you arent comfortable with discussions of the actual source content itself then maybe the fandom isnt for you and a different one is. peace and love.
actual peace and love would involve letting anyone who wants to do things do them, without judgment.
I don’t think there is anything unreasonable about the idea that if someone isn’t comfortable with actual discussions of the source material they should probably not insert themselves into the fandom. And I struggle to see how this has anything to do with ableism as per your tags.
Given that people who don’t know the source material often invade fandom spaces and then get Upset at us for talking about the source material or informing them that no we’re talking about actual canon shit and not our headcanons?
I think we’re allowed to judge folks who don’t engage with the media at least a Little before they engage with the fandom.When someone who isn’t in a fandom is yelling at me about how my blorbo is clearly [specific neurodivergence] when they haven’t even looked at a screenshot of the game, and refusing to listen to me and calling me ableist when I’m explaining that no blorbo is [OTHER neurodivergencies], we’re allowed to judge that someone for things.
When folks are coming into the Murder Rape Incest Fandom and going “hey I don’t watch the show because it’s all Murder Rape Incest, but the character designs are pretty so can you like. Stop playing with Murder Rape Incest in the Murder Rape Incest fandom and tag it and hide all the stuff that already exists because I don’t want to see Murder Rape Incest in the Murder Rape Incest fandom space and also you’re terrible people for writing and drawing Murder Rape Incest in the Murder Rape Incest fandom” we’re allowed to judge them.
When people are coming into Dragon Age and going “uh hey the core topics and themes of Dragon Age make me really uncomfy can we ALL agree that because I’m here now, we’re never going to talk about the Core Topics And Themes Of Dragon Age so I don’t have to see it? Or that you’ll just all spoiler tag everything forever and then I’ll get mad that I’m left out of the conversation because Everyone Needs To Spoil All Talk About The Games?” we’re allowed to judge them.
Engage with the media that you claim to love. Sink your teeth into it and feel its juices join with yours. And if you can’t do that maybe consider finding a different fandom.
If you’re a writer you’re supposed to write a lot of bullshit. It’s part of the gig. You have to write a lot of absolute garbage in order to get to the good bits. Every once in a while you’ll be like “Oh, I wish I hadn’t wasted all that time writing bullshit,” but that’s dumb. That’s exactly the same as an Olympic runner being like “Oh, I wish I hadn’t wasted all that time running all those practice laps”
found a twitter tweet that was like “oh yeah content warning hatoful boyfriend has a lot of gore and violence” and every single person in the notes/retweets/qrts/whatever the fuck terms twitter has was going “WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS WHAT” and i find that hilarious because. large amounts of gore and violence is a tremendous understatement about the amount of stuff that goes down in hatoful boyfriend
my full trigger list for hatoful boyfriend (and its sequel), for anyone curious is:
- war and genocide
- suicide (including coerced suicide)
- murder (including decapitation and dismemberment)
- cannibalism
- guns
- terminal illness and biological weaponry
- persuing monster-based horror
- unreality
- scientific experimentation-based horror
- racism
- childhood trauma and parent death
- infanticide (or more accurately, bird abortion)
- emotional manipulation
- unhealthy/codependent relationships
- death of a romantic interest
- twisted morality and gray morality
- general heartbreakery
just on the off chance anyone reading this doesn’t know what Hatoful Boyfriend is
THE CASUALNESS OF THAT COLLIE SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF THEIR COLLAR. That dude is a Willing Participant of this walk and by god everyone else is going to follow the RULES.
im a fan of the moment where the husky is like ‘wait you’re not authorized to do that’ and the collie is like 'THE FUCK IM NOT’
unstoppable force (border collie) vs immovable object (husky)
don’t ever understimate a herding dog’s determination to KEEP EVERYONE TOGETHER SO HELP ME GOD
the internet these days is insane because every 3-5 days you see an honest to god neuron-rewiring video produced by some rando with too much free time, and it’s so fucking good that you know would have been its own entire meme for MONTHS in 2005. but we’re so saturated with phds in breaking bad editing so you can’t go into work like “hey did you see The Bear No Rush video game?” because nobody has any idea what you’re talking about. back in my day we watched 1 blurry video of a guy doing the Numa Numa Dance and it sustained all of society for an entire year.
day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says “please help with our communal puzzle” and i say to myself “don’t mind if I do” and did the whole thing
day 2 at the communal puzzle club: i get gently reprimanded for not sharing the puzzle experience with the others. in my defense I thought they needed all the help they could get
day 3 at the communal puzzle club: we start a new puzzle and i put one of the pieces in my pocket and save it for later so i can be the one who puts in the last piece
day 4 at the communal puzzle club: the puzzle is almost complete so i reach into my pocket and realize i left the last piece in my other pants which are currently in the washing machine. i feign ignorance
day 5 at the communal puzzle club: the others are suspicious but they have no proof. they check my pockets before i leave but little do they know that this time i ate the pieces
day 6 at the communal puzzle club: i put an entire bottle of miralax in my coffee to get the pieces out of my digestive system but they are too far dissolved to be usable. my stomach is in so much pain and i can’t stop shitting but i rinse off what’s left of the pieces and make it to puzzle club anyway, only to find out they don’t meet on mondays. i am inconsolable.
day 7 at the communal puzzle club: i realized those pieces are incriminating evidence so i slipped them in someone else’s pocket. i should be good as long as they don’t find residual traces of my dna
day 8 at the communal puzzle club: there is an odd feeling in my gut. i feel as if something has been awoken in me
day 9 at the communal puzzle club: i am in such deep focus that the others are starting to fear me. either that or they are cowering away from the communal puzzle out of sheer respect for my skills
day 10 at the communal puzzle club: i’m getting better and better, i can now do several puzzles in one day. the others are discussing what to do about me in hushed tones. little do they know my laser focus allows me to hear everything they say. they aren’t a threat.
day 11 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager unlocked the door but already i am inside. ive been here all night doing puzzles in the dark. they threaten to ban me from the club so in response i pick a 500 piece puzzle at random and complete it in under 45 minutes, just to show them who the real authority is
day 12 at the communal puzzle club: i have been officially banned from the communal puzzle club. in a fit of rage i grab as many pieces as i can and eat them, making sure to thoroughly chew and swallow every single one. if i can’t do them, no one can.
day 13 at the communal puzzle club: it’s monday again. the club doesn’t meet today. it’s the perfect opportunity to break in and do as many puzzles as my heart desires, without any of the club’s petty drama to distract me
day 14 at the communal puzzle club: i am in jail because the club manager snitched to the cops like the pathetic weakling they are. this is the worst night of my entire life there aren’t any puzzles here
day 15 at the communal puzzle club: the judge let me off with a restraining order since I didn’t actually steal anything. i show back up to communal puzzle club just to make a show of ripping the order to shreds. no piece of paper will dictate my life, only jigsaw-cut cardboard has that power. nothing else.
day 16 at the communal puzzle club: everyone is so quiet today when I walk in. I eat some pieces in a show of force, just to remind everyone who’s in charge. I comment that they taste somewhat like strychnine, they say it’s just because Ravensburger has a new method of chemically processing their pieces. sounds plausible. 30 minutes later i am convulsing violently but i beg them not to call an ambulance until i finish the puzzle i was working on. but the bastards don’t listen and I’m shipped off to the hospital kicking and screaming.
day 17 at the communal puzzle club: i spent the night in the hospital. a detective comes in and says they’re investigating the manager of the communal puzzle club for attempted murder and asks what i know. i tell him honestly that i ain’t no snitch and spit in his face. he says they have more than enough evidence to prosecute regardless.
day 18 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager is on trial for attempted murder and i am called as a witness. i tell the judge that i ain’t no snitch and spit in his face. i am held in contempt of the court
day 19 at the communal puzzle club: the defense makes a plea of justifiable self defense, citing the restraining order that isn’t even 1 week old. somehow the judge buys that flimsy defense. i mean, this is the same judge who didn’t even recognize me from that same case despite being the same judge. i think the poor old man has dementia so i make a motion for a mistrial. it gets shot down because the system is corrupt.
day 20 at the communal puzzle club: the judge says i should get jail time but he decided i should be in a mental facility instead. i don’t know why he would think that, i have been nothing but sane my entire life. god forbid a woman have hobbies
day 1 in the psych ward: they have puzzles in here this is amazing
day 2 in the psych ward: all the puzzles are missing a few pieces. this is unacceptable. im going to go insane
day 3 in the psych ward: i have been informed that they do not use the word “insane” in here so i take back my previous statement.
day 4 in the psych ward: i need to find those missing pieces i need to find them i need to find them i have been questioning everybody all the nurses all the doctors all the patients all the miscellaneous hospital staff but nobody knows anything. this is hopeless. i will never be able to overcome this trauma. my life is over
day 5 in the psych ward: it’s so boring in here. without complete puzzles there’s nothing to do except watch tv but the only channel they get is the local news. i begrudgingly watch out of nothing but all-encompassing ennui. but one of the stories is about the communal puzzle club and suddenly i am overcome with nostalgia. turns out there was a series of alleged poisonings attributed to that location. strychnine was found in three people so far, one of whom was myself. but the others didn’t survive. this confirms my suspicion that i am in fact the chosen one
day 6 in the psych ward: with a renewed sense of purpose i will attempt to convince the doctors of my “sanity,” but i also came to the realization that they don’t care about sanity, they only care about sedation. they want to supress my passion, eradicate my truth, condition me to fall in line with the rest of the “sane” people. with that knowledge, i was able to tell them everything they wanted to hear. i acted polite, pretended i was cured, i even feigned complete disinterest in puzzles! it made my stomach boil but i did it, i convinced them, and just like that, i was free.
day 28 at the communal puzzle club: i don’t know why everyone was so surprised to see me again, it’s only natural that i’d come to finish what i started
(i know this is supposed to be day 27 at the communal puzzle club but day 27 was a monday so nothing happened) like what am i gonna say, “day 27 i sat alone in my studio apartment eating cereal and biding my time”
day 29 at the communal puzzle club: the communal puzzle club has been disbanded, the club manager has been arrested, and the whole place is swarming with cops. i watched as they hauled off a bunch of expensive looking printers and like a billion reams of paper and loaded them onto a big police truck.
apparently, the communal puzzle club was just a front for document forgery and counterfeit cash, and i had been inadvertently sabotaging them this entire time. which is sad because i support both of those things. but it also explains why they met 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and why they had their own building despite having no profit model and also why i was the only one who seemed to actually care about the puzzles. everyone else was too busy making fake passports to care.
in hindsight, i always knew they were all a bunch of casuals. but i didn’t mind because they had so many excellent puzzles. I asked one of the officers if i could at least have the puzzles but he said they were already taken and locked away in the evidence room. the thought sickens me- all those puzzles, gathering dust, never to be assembled again. or maybe the pigs just took them for themselves! so they could have all the puzzles they want while the rest of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens have nothing to do except die of boredom!
the moral of the story is that we can never have nice things because of the fucking pigs. fuck the police.
I’m having a good time :)
i am not, sadly. my tummy hurts :(
I’m going to absolve you of this pain. I will transfer the pain onto myself.
ouuuuuuuughghhggggggggggggg,,,,,,,,,,,,, guuhhhggggh ooouughhhffgg :( oooouuumnhhhhhhhhh……
My tummy also hurts :(
Cheese pizza bad idea for lactose intolerant
jussts. senfdb it. send it to me ,,,,., . I can Take it
it’s a few days later and I’m fighting for my life right now, this post actually worked and now I’m dying. this is what I signed up for so I’ll take the punishment but like, my stomach has never hurt this much in my life.
my hubris
Send it to Elon, like that other post
think fast musk I’m sending my curse