Life after stillbirth

Early grief is terrible. No words can describe that trauma and despair that drown like a wave. Today is the first day I can even begin to express myself through anything other than tears and poetry. Today I wanted to write about grief as it is. A nightmare that apparently does not end, as it continues to haunt you like a recurring nightmare.Only 6 short weeks ago (it feels like a few days), I was loving a sweet squirmy baby in my womb. Coming home without our sweet baby as we expected was…

Another factor you consider in planning a pregnancy after loss is timing. And as I said, I wanted to become pregnant again almost immediately. The thought of a living, breathing child is a powerful motivator, and many families go on to get pregnant with the very next cycle.

My first and only pregnancy ended when my son Miles died during an emergency transfer.But let’s back up. At 37 years old I realized that fertility is not a given. The doctors told me I should have no trouble getting pregnant, but we kept trying with no results. I finally got lucky after 18 months of trying.My labor and deliveryFast forward to April of 2019. My due date came and went. My midwife team allowed me to go to 42 weeks. I went into labor naturally and had the perfect home water…

"The most heartbreaking validation comes from our bodies. Even when our babies stop living, the maternal instincts of the human body are strong. Our bodies are so committed to the existence of our babies that they continue on as if they were still alive."

If you missed my last TTC update, it might have been because it was hidden away in a gratitute post here [http://sweetjulian.ghost.io/attitude-of-gratitude-november/]. I never intended to hide it, it was simply an answer to prayer so I was very thankful for that. Since then, our TTC journey [http://sweetjulian.ghost.io/tag/ttc/] has been on 'pause' and uneventful with zero shots until further notice. Ehum - that is until our rainbow baby makes a positive apprance on my HCG blood tests. In my…

January 3, 2016 was his due date and I could hardly wait. He was conceived purposefully and we wanted him deeply. He was to be our second boy and we were all excited to welcome him in to our world. What most people don't think about is how much a

Why I will not be using the term “Rainbow Baby”If you haven’t already heard the news, I am pregnant! This is my first pregnancy after losing Henry and it comes with so many feelings. I wanted to take a moment and talk about expecting a child after loss and how I feel about the term “Rainbow Baby”. I hope you hear my heart. I have no judgments against others using the term, these are just my thoughts. I hope this offers a little window into pregnancy after a loss. A “rainbow baby” is a term…

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. This isn't a day that I ever paid attention to. Yes, I had seen posts on Facebook or organizations mentioning it but I never had

Happy due date my sweet little angel. I tried not to anticipate this day but as the day got closer, I just couldn’t help it.

Life after stillbirth - our stillbirth story and tips to get you through this tough transition. #stillbirth #infantloss #rainbowbaby