โheartwormโ_hamzahthefantastic
tired and sleepy conversations with your boyfriend who doesnโt shut the fuck up .
fluff, suggestive talk about martin, family ideas, cuddling in bed, established relationship.
>_<
one thing you noticed about your boyfriend is that he has many things inside his head, a raging โalmost painfulโ need to tell you everything he is thinking about, and while you thank him for the trust, you canโt help but wonder if he analyses the things he says out loud before verbally vomiting them.
โy/n, are you awake?โ hamzahโs voice came out soft and groggy, his low tone dragging in a whisper made you open your eyes almost so quick that it hurt.
โhmm, yes.โ you replied, adjusting your sight to the dark room.
โdo youโฆwanna talk?โ he shifted on the bed, turning his body to face yours. he had a small smile as he looked at you. you felt warm.
the way his hair was messy, and his face so naturally familiar to you felt almost dreamy.
hamzahโs big sleepy eyes made your heart feel like a cooker bomb. weird comparison but to be honest you could almost feel the way it was going to explode anytime.
and god, you love him so much. unexplainably so damn much. he thought the same of you.
โcant sleep, huh?โ you asked, getting closer to his body under the covers, but then you felt how one of your cats, probably blue, squealed. he was probably sound asleep between hamzahโs body and yourself, always looking for warmth. the protection of his cat parents
โmmm, nope, not really.โ he sighed. โhave so much stuff going on, you know? inside my mind, i mean.โ he admitted, one of his hands travelled to your face, and he stroked your cheek only to feel some sort of contact. โso fuckinโ pretty, huh, youโre my pretty girl..โ
you leaned into the touch like a needy pet, and he couldnโt help but smile, heart feeling full.
โwhats inside your mind, hamzah?โ you asked curiously.
although you were extremely tired and sleepy, hamzah always came first to you. soul intimacy was important, not only sex, and you wanted to know what was bothering him or keeping him awake at such indecent hours.
โyou. always.โ oh. โlike, for real, y/n, and i donโt wanna sound obsessed, even though yeah, i am pretty much obsessed with youโ,โ he paused to swallow. your heart felt so heavy with a feeling you couldnโt quite describe, but only hamzah made you feel. โi am always thinking about you.โ
to be reciprocated, to be seen. hamzah made you feel seen, as he pretty much matched your deep feelings for him. โoh, y/n, you match my freak!โ his voice filled your head. so nice.
โi feel the same wayโ you bluntly said. โeach day i feel like we have been dating for my whole life, because this crazy funny feeling never really goes away.โ by that you meant, the exciting feeling of expectation and young love.
first love.
he giggled, low tone. โright! i know, itโs like, okay, like i feel like i am a kid in love, you know? all silly and nervous around you, but at the same time i feel like we have been married for ages!โ
to be reciprocated, to be seen. to be in love.
โi love you, hamzah.โ you admitted, your voice suddenly softer.
and he didnโt reply, instead, he lifted the covers all the way up till they were engulfing your bodies, the closeness was comforting, and his arms moved around your frame until a hug was crafted. so perfect and tender. his body was like a boiler, providing you of heat, almost like a heat pad for crampsโฆ but man sized.
he looked at you, big round eyes silently speaking, hoping you hear them, โgod i love you, i love you so much youโre my fucking world, i wanna spend my whole damn life by your side.โ silent confession.
instead, he says;
โhave you ever had tapeworms?โ hamzah asks out of the blue.
you blink. blink twice. then three times. and then you sigh, remembering your boyfriend was just, well, just like that. it didnโt ruin the atmosphere though, you enjoyedโฆ whatever the fuck he was trying to say.
โhmmm, i donโt think i have had tapeworms, noโ you answer snuggling up to his bare chest.
hamzah hums. โitโs fine, me neither by the way, i just asked โcause whenever i think of you my heart feels like itโs got a tapeworm inside of itโฆโ
silly, you thought. lovely.
โyeah. i think i know what you mean.โ
โi think itโs in the way we match each other so fucking well, yeah? i never thought i could find a person that justโฆ loves meโฆ for what i amโฆโ he said and you felt your heart skip a beat.
your eyebrows furrowed. โelaborate.โ
โfor instance, youโre my friend, but also my girlfriend, but also my wife, but also my best friend, and not only that, youโre also like, my life partner, you know?โ
ugh, stupid fucking feelings. you felt so deeply about hamzah that your heart felt like it could burst out anytime.
โhey, i love you so much itโs almost overwhelming.โ you admitted, melting into his touch. โfor so long i thought nobody would ever notice me or listen to me or even just, be my friend. or try to take the time to understand meโฆโ your voice lowered at the end of your sentence.
he groaned at how close you were. satisfaction, of course.
โyouโre so beautiful, y/n.โ he kissed the top of your head. โlike, i also thought that martin would be my only friend forever, as scary as it sounds.โ he laughed and you did too.
โhey! martinโs nice!โ you defended your friend.
โi mean yeah, i love him too, but itโs different. not in the way i love you, and i know he doesnโt love me in the way he loves mandy.โ he explained.
โyeah, i know.โ you laughed sleepily, as you leaned onto hamzahโs body. it helped a ton that he slept shirtless because you liked the raw closeness.
โmartin is cool, but if i had never met you, i would have blue balls and an empty heart!โ
โand gay allegations, still.โ you added, laughing.
โbut most importantly blue balls..โ hamzah said serious, with a sigh.
โhuh?!โ
โi canโt fuck martin. i canโt make love to martin, though, just think about it.โ
โdudeโฆโ you said, trying not to burst out laughing out loud.
โi have thought about it, but only before meeting you, itโs just weird!โ hamzah explained, with a nervous smile on his face.
โyou donโt have to think about that, hamzah!โ a smile creeped up on your lips. an awkward one.
โright, i know.โ he defended himself-, โi donโt think about it anymore, i was just a lonely man before you, though.โ ah, you knew that.
every time they could, mandy and martin made sure to tell you how much of a loner miserable man hamzah was. a painfully single dude. even the slushies would be constantly commenting jokes about it.
โbecause youโre weird thatโs whyโฆโ you joked and he clicked his tongue. โthatโs why i love youโ
โyou know, before you; it was my hand, lotion, tissues and me against the world.โ he listed as if it was a great accomplishment.
as if it was something super fucking serious. to be fair, it was very serious to him.
โno video?โ you joked. it felt so nice and genuine to talk about silly stuff like this with your man.
he stopped to think for a second. โnah, just my imagination. always imagined you though, even before meeting you i always imagined someone like you.โ he kissed your forehead.
โwow, how romantic, itโs almost as if youโre not talking about beating your meat.โ
as you both comfortably joked and laughed, a nice silence filled the room.
hamzah pulled you closer, which you thought was physically impossible, but still, your body thanked his devotion for physical affection.
his low voice broke the silence.
โy/nโฆโ
โyes, hamzah?โ
he sighed, holding your waist close to his own. you could feel him, feel him merging with your body, but it was nice, not really anything more than intimacy.
โi canโt wait to have a family with you.โ he said, the weight of the confession leaving his chest felt so good.
your eyes opened wide. and you stuttered to reply.
โwe are a family.โ you said.
the cats, him, you. yeah, a family as god intended, right? but still, you knew what he meant. and you wanted it too.
โdo you think weโll be good parents?โ he asked, the tone in his voice indicating he was being honest, being hopeful. he hoped for you to say yes so badly.
you thought for a momentโฆ
โi think weโll be okay, hamzah.โ yeah.
โweโll be okay, love.โ he said, but it was almost as if he was trying to reassure himself.
hamzah wanted a big family, and he liked thinking about caring for the little humans youโd create together.
and the room filled with silence yet again, as you heard his calm breathing, you realised he had fallen asleep. the comfort of his embrace made you fall asleep as well.
hamzah felt so safe with you, so understood. never judged at all. he said weird stuff, but you always had a smile on your face. never grossed out by him, never angry, always loving.
it was nice. to be reciprocated, to be seen.
the heartworm inside his heart wiggled happy, eating his flesh and leaving a trace of only you.
>_<
hope u liked this. i did. heh.
