okay okay there's more

6. Elderly surgeon to the anaesthetist who is gossipping with their reg: "I need you to pretend you're in church." [weirdest way to ask people to be quiet, but whatevs]

Anaethetist's new reg with big, horrified eyes: "You mean we should start praying???"

7. Panicking rad tech: "Uhhhh my machine broke. I need to jump on this part and kick it, but I am not paid enough if I break it. Can you - "

Surgeon, casual as: "Yeah, sure."

:violently beats up the C-arm until it starts pumping out those sweet, sweet x-rays:

8. ODP to theatre assistant: "Saw the new tasche earlier. Suits you."

Theatre assistant: "Thanks! it grew on me :)"

Surgeon, pleadingly, within accidental snipping distance of the patient's spinal cord: "Guys, do NOT make me laugh."

OH MY GOD I FORGOT -

9. Surgeon using the electrocauter, leaning over the incision and inhaling deeply: mmmmm, that smell always gets me hungry. I'm having barbeque tonight.

New med student: 👀

and the classique:

Spinal surgeon: hey, that scoli's getting bad. want me to fix it for ya?

Me: I mean. There's a pretty long wait list

Spinal surgeon: yeah but I could do it tonight

Me: that would be very illegal, Jeff

Spinal surgeon: only if they catch me

"Hey, everyone, welcome back. Our first box today is a Uline nine by five by four. Single piece of clear shipping tape over the top, two inch, and the UPS label nicely centered. No edge tape, and you know, that's fine. This box is pretty light, I'd say under a pound, and taped edges don't really add much stability here. Let's open it up and see what we've got for dunnage...okay, half-inch bubble wrap, that's unusual in a box of this size."

Sometimes a post throws into perspective just how much niche knowledge you possess.

I read this, and I can tell from the “review” that the package was NOT shipped by a professional.

One: two inch tape. Professional establishments use three inch. It’s MUCH easier to seal boxes with, especially around the edges. Two inch is what you can buy from office depot or lowe’s. It’s fine for moving house, but it’s definitely not professional grade.

Two: no edge tape. Just seal your edges, people. UPS basically plays soccer with your packages. Even the light ones, just on principal, give them the structural support you can offer.

Three: centered label. Looks pretty on a package, sure, but it makes it very likely that the label will be covered up when the box is sitting in a stack or a pile, and that increases the chance that it will be manhandled to get to that label or even potentially mis-scanned or missed altogether in a stack. Label the SIDE of the box if at all possible! And put it to the side if you can’t! Visibility!

Also, the reviewer may be accustomed to getting a lot of boxes, but I don’t think they were a professional shipper, either. Someone who has shipped too many boxes would comment on whether the box was new or reused, whether there was any special hazmat (mostly lithium-ion battery) labeling, the condition of the package post shipping, and whether or not the weight of the package matched the stated weight on the label. AND they’d have commented on the two-inch packing tape.

I don't know what to say other than "your experiences are not universal," because I do shipping and receiving at a machine shop for a living, I see packages sent by professional shippers all the time, and I disagree with you on just about every point.

One: two inch tape. Professional establishments use three inch.

Nope. For packages I see, two inch packing tape is the norm. Today I had one package with three-inch water-activated reinforced paper tape and one (from Uline) with 2.75" packing tape. Everything else used 2" packing tape. Yes, it's exactly the same kind of stuff that you can get at Office Depot or Lowe's, and people use it because it gets the job done.

Two: no edge tape.

Not uncommon for small, light packages. I just don't see box failures on packages under a pound where more tape would have helped. Where I do see failures is overloaded boxes, thirty pounds and up, where the corrugate simply ripped, and no amount of tape would have saved the package.

PSA: please don't fill an 8x8x6 single-wall box with machine screws and expect it to arrive intact. Fastenal, I'm looking at you.

Three: centered label.

Label on top is standard. I had only one box today with the label on the side, and all the rest on top.

Looks pretty on a package, sure, but it makes it very likely that the label will be covered up when the box is sitting in a stack or a pile, and that increases the chance that it will be manhandled

Your package will get manhandled, regardless of where you put the label. Plan on it.

to get to that label or even potentially mis-scanned or missed altogether in a stack. Label the SIDE of the box if at all possible!

Heck no! I expect labels to be on top and that's the first place I look for them. If it's on the side, that's potentially four other places I have to look, which is a pain in the ass when I'm busy. And I'm always busy.

UPS, incidentally, says you should put the label on the largest surface. For the packages I get, that's usually the top.

Someone who has shipped too many boxes would comment on whether the box was new or reused,

Okay, that's legit. I do see a fair number of reused boxes.

whether there was any special hazmat (mostly lithium-ion battery) labeling

Hazmats aren't common enough to mention it every time when there isn't one present. (My hazmats are usually solvents or paint, and that's not something I get every day.)

the condition of the package post shipping

Not usually noteworthy. My internal monolog (which is what the above fanciful review is based on) doesn't bother to mention it unless something unusual happened to the box.

whether or not the weight of the package matched the stated weight on the label

Although I ship just as many packages as I receive, if not more, it never would have occurred to me to check. And I don't have a scale in the receiving department, so it would be guesswork anyway.

AND they’d have commented on the two-inch packing tape.

Which everyone uses. There's not much need to comment when it's far and away the most common type of tape.

Perhaps things have been different for you, but this is how it is in the manufacturing industry.