Takes a guy who's obsessed with saving people even if it risks his life and a guy who is literally allergic to asking for help in any situation and puts them in My stew puts them in my fucking stew and stirs it
Yes, I am a straight man. Yes, getting the shit beat out of me in an all-male mosh pit is an erotic experience for me. We exist
When I was in Norway at the Gojira show a guy in the pit grabbed me & said “open your mouth”
And I did
He suspected (correctly) that I was dehydrated & was judging by the color of my tongue
But I fully heard “open your mouth” & thought “wow this stranger is going to spit in my mouth”
And then, naturally, I thought “well let’s see where he’s going with this”
Ace attorney is so funny for making a game where you play as a lawyer whose assistant lets him talk to dead people and the only dead person he talks to is a smarter, better lawyer
Hey, don’t cry. You can log onto the computer and talk to other gay people about The Characters okay??
you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"
Boss makes a dollar
You make a dime
You read unsanitary pirate slash
On company time
Look if you read fanfic on the clock and everyone is still relieved that you're back you must just be that got-dang good at your job
Fam, some jobs are like being a firefighter. 90% of the time you're not doing anything that important, but by golly, when they need you, they need you.
Some jobs, you can fuck around for six hours a day, but you know what you're doing so well that the work you do in two hours would take somebody else ten.
Some jobs, you spend those two hours preventing other people from making mistakes that would take 100 hours to fix if you weren't there to steer them right.
So don't buy into the idea that if you're not working 480 minutes a day, you're not doing enough to get paid a day's wages. That's the capitalism talking.
You're a better employee when you keep your morale up, and sometimes you do that by reading fanfiction on the clock in between putting out your little fires.
Why is “barely legal” pornography always about age? I think they should experiment with teetering on other types of illegality. For example, they could film just outside of a restricted military area.
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Shishitoren scene card is beautiful 💕
they should invent a wormhole in my bedroom where i could walk through it and my best friend is on the other side and we can hang out
"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other
Occasionally someone will bring a new post into the ecosystem, and those days are VERY exciting. ENRICHMENT!
ignore my subpar editing skills. i felt like this was a necessary edition. they are transmasc transfem solidarity
ah yes, my favourite foreign language feel, “I know what all of those words mean individually but not together like that”
not to forget its twin “i know (roughly) what you’re saying, but what are those words?”
Plus the secret triplet “I managed to get your drift but I don’t know how to answer you”.
And also the extra member of the Quartet “I know what it means more or less but I can’t explain it or translate it in any way”
