Just remembered, as I was cooking some potato, about that time I went on holidays at my (now ex) girlfriend's grandma and met her whole family on this side.

All of them, the uncles, the aunts, the cousins of all age and gender, all of them told me about the legendary mashed potato that the grandma does. How good it is, how they can't reproduce it, and how the grandma has never told the recipe to anyone ever. A mystery, a secret she's going to take to the grave!

And like, it's a very good mashed potato. The recipe is simple, you boil some big potato, then you mash them with salt, pepper, herbes de Provence (a mix used almost everywhere in the south of france made of rosemary, oregano, thyme, basil, chervil, tarragon, bay leaf, fennel, marjoram, sage, and wild thyme), a good chunk of butter and a dollop of olive oil.

I know because she was very happy to show me how it's done when I, alone, went to help her in the kitchen (:

who’s up thinking about after the threesome they both take you home by sue hyon bae i’m thinking about after the threesome they both take you home by sue hyon bae

normal time. im having it

[text ID:

After the Threesome,
They Both Take You Home
Sue Hyon Bae

even though it’s so very late
and they have to report to their jobs
in a few hours, they both get in the car,
one driving, one shotgun, you in the back
like a child needing a drive to settle into sleep,
even though one could drive and the other
sleep, because they can’t sleep
without each other, they’d rather drive you
across the city rather than be apart for half an hour,
the office buildings lit pointlessly beautiful
for nobody expect you to admire their reflections
in the water, the lovers too busy talking
about tha colleague they don’t like,
tomorrow’s dinner plans, how once
they bought peaches on a road trip and ate and ate
until they could taste it in each other’s poers,
they get out of the car together to kiss you goodnight,
you who have perfected the ghost goodbye,
exiting gatherings noiselessly, leaving only
a dahlia-scented perfume, your ribcage
compressing to slide through doors ajar and untouched,
yesterday you were a flash of white in a pigeon’s blinking eye,
in the day few hours old you stand solid and full
of other people’s love for each other
spilling over, warm leftovers.

/end ID]

hey, don’t cry. one half flour one half yogurt knead into dough and fry for easy flatbread and dip in balsamic vinegar, okay?

After three batches, my findings so far:

• I use full fat Greek yoghurt and self-rising flour
• Ratio by weight
• Add a pinch of salt
• Knead until no longer sticky, adding more flour if necessary
• Roll them with olive oil instead of flour and fry in an otherwise unoiled, preheated pan (medium heat) (trust in the lord; it will seem like it's going to stick to the pan at first but they'll unstick in about 15 seconds)
• Roll them thin but not too thin; mine take about 45 seconds on either side
• Serving with garlic butter is also a very good option

I’m gonna be eating these for a month

This actually works?? Two-ingredient bread??

I gotta try it.

That's...naan.

That's naan?

*runs to Google*

HOLY SHIT THAT IS NAAN! HOW DID I NOT KNOW NAAN WAS THAT EASY TO MAKE?

this is one of those rare easy bread recipes that also works with gluten free flour! the yoghurt helps with structural integrity. you may want a pinch of xanthan gum if your flour doesn't come with it mixed in. i like to mix some rosemary into the flour to have a herby naan, since i can't have garlic.

ADD CUMIN. Holy shit. Add cumin to the flour its so good!

The rosemary one is also fab

ALT

The Prestige, Hanif Abdurraqib

The diagram for the classic Origami Goat, with a twist to make its horns curve ! It's from this video by by Origami Word, but it seems to be a pretty old/intemporal design that a lot of people have made. I could not find a diagram online so I made one.

(If you make her in yellow/orangy-yellow, then decorate her with red ribbons, you can make your own origami gävlebocken ! )

this is soo cuteeeee

by Alice White

[ID: a poem titled, "answering her question." it reads: "my sister taught me a parenting trick for when kids ask a difficult question like "is santa claus real?" or "what is sex?" simply ask, in earnest, "What do you think?" and listen. at the least, it buys you time. my daughter, three, in the car one evening, is silent. then asks, "mama, will i die?" i just drive. try to keep the car tethered to the earth. somehow the trick surfaces within me and i ask, "what do you think?" in the rearview mirror i see her smile looking out at the purple sky. she says "i think i will never die." i tell her "that's what i think, too." and i do, i do. end ID.]

Put an egg in your ramen. Put scallions in your ramen. Put chili oil in your ramen. Put kewpie Mayo in your ramen. But nori in your ramen. Put tofu in your ramen. Put miso paste in your ramen. Put mushrooms in your ramen.

Do NOT reply or comment except to add good things to put in ramen. That’s what this post is for.

put fish sauce in it!! chopped garlic!! sriracha! vegetable tempura! pork belly! sprouts!

// I love cooking comics best. And this one has ingredients so cheap I made a point to save it to my harddrive. It was originally drawn by Lucie Bryon here on Tumblr.

If you're extremely low spoons like me, you can used canned or frozen veggies, and some supermarkets sell pre-cooked chicken

Throw it all in the pot and fry it with butter to make it taste better, then throw in your water and noodles until it looks good

If you don't have the energy but have a spice rack, powdered garlic, onion, ginger. Measure with your heart. Add one egg yoke. Dash of regular soy sauce. Siracha, again measure with your heart. Don't have that? Chili flakes or anything with a mild spice. Mix. Set aside. Heat water. Bring to a boil. Add ramen packet + ramen noodles. Cook till soft. Add one ladle of your broth to your yoke + spice mix. Mix that. Add noodles + additional broth. Add extra dash of soy sauce. Eat and be content.

Speaking as someone who is frequently busy AND low-energy, let me tell you some of my ramen hacks!

• Prepackaged broth.
• Canned chicken or any leftover meat you may have. Add it in the last few minutes of cooking.
• I endorse the frozen veggies! Also add those in the last few minutes of cooking.
• Add some miso paste and a pat of butter. mmmm, richer broth.

Finally, because I have a lot of days where I have no energy AND barely time for lunch: THE MICROWAVE. Put your broth and noodles in a bowl, microwave it for 2 minutes. Pull apart the noodles (which will still be firm but not a brick) to make a little nest to crack an egg into. Add any other protein and your frozen veggies, then microwave it for another 2 minutes. THE BOWL WILL BE VERY HOT WHEN YOU TAKE IT OUT OF THE MICROWAVE, BE CAREFUL. But look at that! Fast, delicious, nutritious ramen!

Standard ramen bricks do not have to be boiled. You can prepare them exactly like cup ramen: Brick in bowl, powder on brick, pour two cups boiling water over it. Cover bowl with a plate. Give it about four minutes. Perfect soft noodles. Never gets that horrid ramen slimy situation going even if you ADHD away from your wip food, the noodles are still soft and lovely, just uhh cold.

If you have access to an Asian grocery store, try pickled mustard green. It's like $2 and, being pickled, lasts forever in the fridge. Especially wonderful on jjajang (black soybean) ramen.

I can't believe i saw a post listing ramen ingredients without this

Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

“Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being." — Robert Anton Wilson