Well, not so much a plan… more of a series of events that he hoped whatever deity might be listening and actually bothered to give half a fuck would actually make happen.
Because he was at least eighty… four percent sure Steve had been sending him signals over the last few months.
Months listening to Steve gush about the kids that had recently fallen into his lap, helping Dustin out with his curls for the Snow Ball, or blinking those big sad eyes up at him when he talked about his dad making him get a job somewhere in the new mall so he could understand what real hard work was.
Eddie had scoffed at that.
Like Harrington Sr. knew what real hard work was.
But there had been all these little touches. These lingering looks.
And the blushing.
Eddie prided himself on the fact that he could get the most biteable pink colour to rise in Steve’s cheeks and over his nose with only a couple of words.
All that was to say that Eddie was going fucking crazy with it all and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to survive it much longer.
So he had to do something about it.
Which is what led him here, to Steve’s front door.
Or more accurately Steve’s driveway because he hadn’t worked up the courage to actually step outside his van yet.
Saw a video of a supposed attempted store robbery where the lady flashed the thief and he just left… like he looked at them and left. Idk if it was real or a skit but now I’m thinking steddie 😭
Steve working some fuck ass job at a gas station and Eddie comes barging in with a ski mask talking about “EMPTY THE REGISTER! GIVE ME ALL YOUR CASH!”
And Stevie baby is just, his mind panics and glitches and for some reason his first instinct is to flash the guy. Just, pulls up his shirt and flashes the guy.
And Steve’s like ‘great I’m fucking dead cuz I don’t even have boobs. Why was this my first move?’
And Eddie is just like, confronted with the most glorious display of hunky pecs and abs.
Eddie: …
Steve: so, um…
Eddie: ok, yeah, this is uh
Eddie: I’m just gonna…
Eddie: *quickly pulls out his phone to take a picture and scampers to the exit, knocking over a chip display on his way out*
Steve is just left there like, ‘wtf there’s no way that worked.’
Meanwhile, Eddie comes back to his group and they’re like
“dude where’s the money? We need that money!!”
“I can’t, man.”
“Tf you mean you mean you can’t.”
(Throws his phone at them with the picture of a very cute gas station attendant flashing his pecs with the most confused deer-in-headlights expression)
“I mean Im too fucking gay for this! I asked him to empty the register and he, he showed me his boobs?
“And you took a fucking picture?”
“…and I took a fucking picture, yeah.”
Eddie then proceeds to frequent that gas station (sans ski mask of course) to flirt up a storm.
At what point into dating does Eddie admit he was the would-be robber? Six weeks? Six years?
Or is it funnier if Steve knows right away(Eddie’s hair was sticking out of the ski mask) and just doesn’t say anything?
I feel like Steve always has this inkling suspicion just based on Eddie’s voice and mannerisms,
but it’s not confirmed for him until they’ve been dating for a bit, the sexual tension has been unbearably suffocating, and after being yelled at by Robin to ‘Fix It’ do things gets properly heated…
Anyways,
They’re making out, Eddie is pawing at Steve like a starving man, and Steve flicks off his shirt like it’s the most natural thing in the world staring up at Eddie with adoring eyes and Eddie—
Eddie is white screened.
Straight up staring at his tits like it’s the most glorious visage to have ever graced this earthly realm. His eyes are near to the brink of tears before he slowly lifts his hands and just, gently cups them. Like a nervous sinner laying their hands on a holy cross expecting to be burned on the spot.
So Steve’s just laying there, shirt casted to oblivion, a lap full of Please-Reboot-System boyfriend cupping his boobs and it looks like… omg is actually going to start crying?
Steve has never felt more confused, objectified, and flattered at the same time—
Except, that’s a lie ‘cuz he has and wait,
“Wait, are you the guy that tried to rob the gas station?”
Eddie reboots.
All systems are Online and he’s a squirrelly motherfucker.
He bolts for the door, but it’s locked cuz they were about to Gichy-Gichy-Ya-Ya, so instead of opening it to make his smooth escape he runs Full Speed into it and knocks himself for a solid three seconds.
You can imagine being Eddie then, waking up with a throbbing head, hot guy hovering over you concerned asking dumb fucking questions like:
‘Eddie can you hear me?’ And, ‘How many fingers am I holding up?’ And, ‘do you know who’s the current president?’
While his shirt is still off, his pecs are right there and if Eddie ignored his splitting skull and just opens his mouth and leans up just a little bit he might be able to get a mouth full nipple—
Yeah, so, Steve knows now. Eddie is sitting on the bed with a pack of frozen peas (that have been expired for two years, really?) on the growing welt on his forehead looking like a guilty dog as he hands over his phone to Steve
And Steve is looking at The Picture, the Original Fucking Picture from that infamous day.
It’s slightly blurry, Steve’s looking at himself on screen sporting wide bewildered eyes seemingly at his own questionable action, hairy pecs on display,
And he looks back up at Eddie with the most shit eating grin, “Aw, babe.”
“Stop, omg I’m mortified. Please don’t call the cops.”
Offended, “Why would I call the cops on my boyfriend?”
Eddie, dazed, “wait, I still have a boyfriend?”
Yes, Eddie still gets laid that day after Steve clears him of a concussion.
And yes, Steve’s later he tells Robin and they get into a 2 hour argument on whether or not it can be classified as a Meet Cute.
Final project for the Eddie Munson Big Bang event 🥰 @vicecapitain and @alicetallula were amazing team mates 🖤 Please go read this amazing Southern Gothic AU fic
Isle of Dogs / Game of Thrones / Painting by Jenn Mazza / Unknown / Ancestral Memory by Hari Alluri / Unknown / Venetta Octavia / Emma Tranter / Unknown / Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo / @ machineryangel
