me: “sorry ): can’t come!! got so much to do at home”

me as soon as im home:

You're not being "poisoned" by signals or 5G or microwaves or what have you. Unless you work in very specific jobs, the only electromagnetic waves you need to worry about are UV rays from the sun.

Your co-worker specifically has a lot more than UV rays to worry about.

[guy who has been cut 999 times immediately beforehand voice]: this shits easy i could definitely take one more

based on real events

trick or treat don't worry bro it's just makeup haha he's fine

Cartoon smartphone with devil horns and an evil grin: Well, well, well, look who's tipsy. Better use one of my rideshare apps, drunkie. Those taxi driver unions aren't gonna bust themselves! Ha ha!!

Cartoon beer can with little angel wings and a halo appearing above my shoulder as I start my car: Hi! I'm Roadie, the Road Beer! Wanna play a fun game? It's called "drink me all up before you drive past the elementary school"!

Muffled voice coming from my glove box: Uh oh, looks like we're getting pulled over! You're gonna be real glad I decided to come along!

backyard wrestling

everyone say in the tags what their current custom discord status is