if you're in a relationship with a man that you love how do you get out of the questioning spiral? because on one hand, i am attracted to him and we have helped each other heal and grow as people and i love seeing that and being there for it and he's one of my favorite people.
on the other hand, there are so many things he does and his family does that gets under my skin so fucking bad. his dad highkey doesnt respect women so as a result his sons all have sexist tendencies (which my boyfriend has done some work on but he still has quite a ways to go). that and i feel like as much as i love him idk if i could be monogamous with him (we are polyamorous) but i feel like i could be with women and i havent been able to get this out of my head since like 4-5 months into the relationship and it's killing me, especially bc ik he plans on proposing. if this doesnt get answered i understand why but any advice is so appreciated 💖 hope yall mods are doin okay
You all realize Feminists have been critiquing “women only spaces” for decades right?
I think often about Audre Lorde’s critique of a women only event that welcomed her wife and daughter, but not her son. Because she questioned it - the function and purpose of barring even the sons of Feminist women from Feminist events. Especially the barring of her young Black son, who would otherwise be left alone in the city where he would be more prone to the very violence those same Feminist women claimed to want to change.
Because what functional, forward thinking Feminist purpose does it actually serve to do that? What message does that send to women with sons, husbands, brothers, lovers, friends, who want to involve the men and boys in their lives in their activism? Who want to build a functionally better world for us all outside of the oppressive grasp of Patriarchy? Especially for the marginalized men who often sit at their own intersection violent Patriarchal oppression, that still happens to be Patriarchal oppression despite it not being distinctly misogyny?
What purpose does it truly serve to sequester yourself away into a pocket of the world, detached from those you share it with? What bright and shining future does that really promise you?
As we have already stated, we reject the stance of Lesbian separatism because it is not a viable political analysis or strategy for us. It leaves out far too much and far too many people, particularly Black men, women, and children. We have a great deal of criticism and loathing for what men have been socialized to be in this society: what they support, how they act, and how they oppress. But we do not have the misguided notion that it is their maleness, per se—i.e., their biological maleness—that makes them what they are. As BIack women we find any type of biological determinism a particularly dangerous and reactionary basis upon which to build a politic. We must also question whether Lesbian separatism is an adequate and progressive political analysis and strategy, even for those who practice it, since it so completely denies any but the sexual sources of women’s oppression, negating the facts of class and race.
Just wanted to say thank you for this blog. I remember reading all the asks when I was in the closet, asking for advice, wondering if I’d ever be able to have a girlfriend without having a toxic relationship with my family.
I never thought I’d say this but I have a girlfriend now and my parents know! They’re not cool with it yet but it’s not like it used to be. it’s gotten better. For anyone in the closet who feels like things won’t change. They will.
Choose yourself, always. fight for what you want and don’t worry about anything else. it will be painful at times but worth it ♥️
black lesbians honestly deserve so much more. they are constantly an afterthought in the lgbtq community despite having so much history in building it. it really hurts seeing other lgbtq members brush off black lesbians struggles to them “overreacting” or being “too emotional” over being constantly erased from their own community. listen to black lesbians. if a black lesbian tells you that you are making your lgbtq space unsafe or uncomfortable for them then you listen and make changes. it shouldn’t be controversial to say that black lesbians deserve to feel safe and accepted in the lgbtq community.
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“We umm, we haven’t met. I’m Luce.”
Imagine Me & You (2005, UK)
Anonymous:
i've had a crush on this amazing girl for like nine months and a couple weeks ago i sent her a letter (we live on different continents) telling her that i had feelings for her and two days ago she got it and she likes me back!! we're together now!! we're both in the closet (me bc super homophobic family, her because she's not comfortable being out yet) but i'm so so so happy. i can't believe i'm so lucky as to be able to call her my girlfriend now
I’m so grateful for all of you. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected this outpouring of love after our wedding. We have seen so many positive comments, little teenage me would be pinching herself.
We see you, we love you, and we appreciate you beyond words. Thank you for making this even more special for us than it already was 🤍
