Heartbreaking: poor baby kitty has never been fed and eats cardboard to live
dragons enslaving humans
dragon: AS OF NOW YOU ARE THE LEGAL PROPERTY OF THE EMPIRE. YOU WILL SPEND EIGHT HOURS A DAY AS A SLAVE TO THE CROWN, AND IN ORDER TO KEEP YOUR BODY IN GOOD WORKING CONDITION YOU WILL BE PROVIDED WITH NECESSARY FOOD, SHELTER, AND MEDICAL CARE. YOU MAY ALSO EARN ENRICHMENT ITEMS FROM GOOD PERFORMANCE.
human: oh sick. sure, im down for that
dragon: HUH
dragon: YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE IN SLAVERY, YES?
human: hey you're providing me with a house, food, healthcare, comfort items, and the ability to change jobs if i need to, with a guaranteed retirement plan and systems in place to keep my life stable. this shit is cool as fuck
dragon: IT IS NOTHING FANCY. I'M SURE YOU'RE USED TO MORE
human: girl i make minimum wage
dragon: WHAT IS "MINIMUM WAGE"?
human: oh you'll think this is funny
...
dragon: THEY FUCKING WHAT
ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself
So as it turns out your sense of self doesnt exist in a vacuum. You gotta actually use it and bounce it off of other people like echolocation to see where you are as a person and shit. So if you dont regularly interact with other people the echoes just get weaker and weaker and before you know it your personality is a blurry fucked up fog clone of its former self. which it sucks because this makes it really hard to interact with people again but yknow
Ancient Sumerians: that trans girl is so pretty... I need her to bear my children. Maybe we should make her a priestess so the goddess may decide to make her fertile.
Lesbians today: that trans girl s so pretty... I need to breed her. If I keep railing her gay ass she definitely will get pregnant.
conclusion: lesbians are late Sumerian fertility goddesses
music box doll 💜💜💜 want! want that! be music box doll! purpose of sing and make happy! yaaaaaay!!!!
Virus girl on your computer who really likes you and REALLY likes when you play with yourself and spends a lot of her time modding your games on the fly to fulfill fantasies and make the games sexier (with a special reoccurring character, hint hint) so she can watch you and feel her little code heart race as she gets to please someone so incredible out there opposite the screen 💜💜💜
it took me like a full minute to realise that this was a post that was blocked with my own tumblr filters and not that “this post may contain reddit and american” was the funny post I was like wtf why can’t I reblog this
Why do you have that blacklisted in the first place? Seems oddly specific
because I hate americans and redditors next question
Don’t wanna be an American Redditor
I hate being an American
Yooooooo
Doll hates being an American too!