Kitchen overlord

Sometimes catching fire to your own stock is the only way to feed the hungry. Mellark Bakery’s Burnt Bread 1 tbsp yeast 2 cups warm water ¼ cup honey + 1 tbsp 2 tsp salt 1 cup raisins 1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans 2 ½ cups whole wheat flour […]

Whether you’re raiding a Peacekeeper ship or running from a half Scarran hybrid, these Food Cubes will keep you as well nourished as a Hynerian Dominar. Frelling Food Cubes 1 cup dried Turkish apricots ½ cup unsalted cashews ¾ cup shredded unsweetened coconut ¼ cup coconut flour ½ cup almond […]

Hey, Hoopy Froods! In honor of Towel Day, we bring you something more to snack on than a bag of peanuts and cup of not-tea while you curl up with your favorite towel and a copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Hitchhiker’s Guide BBQ Towel Rangoons 1 sheet […]

Prepare your fellow Scooby’s for a night of patrolling with this magical snack. Willlow’s Lemon Lavender Bread Bread: 1/2 cup softened butter 1 cup granulated sugar 2 eggs 1 1/2 cups flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup lemon flavored yogurt 2 tbsp lemon rind 2 tbsp […]

According to The Doctor, we can thank him for banana daiquiri’s, fish fingers and custard, and the Yorkshire Pudding. This classic British side dish is surprisingly easy to make. Use it to impress redheads, repel Romans, and keep yourself busy while living time the long way round without skipping past […]

When your grandfather owns a Cajun restaurant and your father throws dinner parties for inter-planetary diplomats, you pick up cooking skills useful for any situation. If you only have an hour to impress your guests, try Jake Sisko’s Speedy Gumbo. Sisko’s Speedy Gumbo 4 cups chicken broth 3 cups shredded […]

You need to smuggle an amulet to Zip without anyone suspecting you’re making the drop in Thailand. There’s one delicious solution. Lara Croft’s Thai Fishcake Amulets 1 pound inexpensive white fish filets ½ cup flour 3 tbsp fish sauce 2 tbsp Thai sweet chili paste 1 tbsp brown sugar 2 […]

Remember: when an other dimensional creature tastes these and asks if you’re a cooking god, always say YES! Stay Pufft Marshmallow Heads 3 (1/4 oz) packets unflavored gelatin ½ cup ice cold water ¼ cup bourbon 2 cups sugar ⅔ cup light corn syrup ¼ tsp kosher salt 1 tsp […]

I see you are confused by the combination of eggs, rice, and fish at breakfast, my dear Watson, but I assure you this is elementary Victorian Cooking. It’s merely a hearty morning Kedgeree*. Kedgeree Recipe: 2 cups cooked basmati rice 1 pound haddock 4 tbsp butter 1 large onion, finely […]

Hobbitses can not take my precious. The eye will stop them. Fill their bellies, it will. Then, when they can not move, they will be mine! All mine! Eye of Sauron 1 tube crescent dough 8 large pasta shells 8 premade meatballs 1 cup red pasta sauce 8 tsp shredded […]